Both adopted and biological okay?

CanadianGurl

DH and I have a 4-month-old biological son. We're going to wait until he's a year old then think about having another one (although to be honest, I'm ready now). I would like to think and look into adopting our second child. DH is adopted and came from a home with only 1 sibling, who was also adopted. I cam from a home with only 1 sibling who was also biological. He thinks it would be uncomfortable for an adopted child to live in a family where there are other siblings who would be biologically related to us. He says not because we would love them any less, but because they might not have the same bond with their siblings as they would if they were in the "same boat." Any thoughts? Anyone from or have a family with both biological and adopted children? TIA

nancyandnate

I am adopted and have three brothers who are biological to my parents. ?It definitely added to the teenage angst to be the only one who didn't look like everyone else. ?My parents adopted because they were told they couldn't have children of their own and one brother is 9 months younger than me. ?So growing up, I also questioned if they really wanted me around since the reason for adopting wasn't actually valid. ?Maybe I struggled because we were so close in age or because there were 5 biological people in the family. ?We are all good as far as bonding, but it was hard as a teen when you question everything anyway.

Married3.22.03

I think it depends on each person if they would feel comfortable with that or not.  My DD was adopted, and I would still love to be PG someday (though it's a pretty unlikely scenario, but who knows).  I've heard of families where this totally isn't an issue and the kids felt no differently from each other, and I've heard of families where the adoptee really struggled with that.  I don't think it's inherently a "good" idea or a "bad" idea; I think it just depends on the family and the child.  I think there is a HUGE difference between adopting because you really want to adopt and add to your family that way, or because you want to "save" or "rescue" a child.  No child (especially teenager/young adult) wants to feel "endebted" to his/her parents, so that attitude shouldn't even be there.  Does that make sense?  I guess what I'm saying is... adopt because you WANT to adopt, because you feel it's equally as wonderful and as special as having a bio child.  When we first decided to adopt, I remember saying to DH that I really liked the idea of "saving" a child... and it wasn't too long until my eyes were really opened to how incorrect that statement is (in most cases).

TTCgradstud

I know multiple families that have both adopted and biological children in them and from an outsider's perspective all have grown into sucessful well adjusted adults (all people I grew up with).  We are not ruling out the possibility of getting pg sometime, but for us adoption was a better choice now.  We also haven't ruled out adoption again, or after learning from people here, foster-adopt as a future plan. 

I think much of it can depend on the children and the parents and the personalities of each.  My brothers and I are all bio-siblings and I am more bonded with one then the other, we just have more in common. I'm not sure shared genetics has much to do with bonding effectively. 

Chrisy-Wyobride

I grew up w/ 1 adopted brother (I had 2 bio brothers & 1 bio sister).  He was an awesome kid, teenager & now adult.  He is actual a differnt race than the family he was adopted into as well.  His bio mother actually wanted him to have siblings & chose our family....my sister is actually only 9mo younger than him (she was a suprise as my parent's were not supposed to be able to have more kids) as well.  They were so adorable & best buds all growing up.  He's totally a well adjusted, comfortable in his own skin, independent, successful, happy person...he's happily married to a wonderful woman (who is also African American like himself).  It can totally work out.  I know many families w/ both kids & most are totally fine as well.  My cousin is adopted & has siblings who were bio & has problems...but not because of his upbringing...he's a sociopath/criminal...he's the only one of many I know w/ major issues.

SandratheTerrible

I have two biological children, and a daughter who came to me through adoption.  Let me tell you - they fight like any brother and sister I've ever seen.    Granted - she's 6, so we haven't hit the teen years - but my daughter knows she's loved just as much as anyone who's ever come out of my belly.  She also says she's really special, because Cody and I flew all the way across the world just to get her.

I think, as long as there is an open and honest line of communication about the adoption experience, and the amount of love there is to go around - bio and adoption is perfectly fine - sometimes BETTER than fine.

And to pp - yeah - I get comments from people about how lucky Mia is to have us.  I stop them and say "No, WE'RE lucky to have HER"

foreverbride

I hope its ok because we are adopting our third child, and currently have two bio children!  We are hoping to get matched anyday now with our little one born in Korea!  I can't tell you what others have obviously since my little one isn't even home yet, but as a prospective parent of both adopted and bio children, I feel the same nervous excitement for all three of my children in waiting for them to join our family!