At the end of my rope

beckastar

It's been almost 4 days since Gabi passed away.  My in-laws have been here for a week.  I know my MIL means well and just wants to make us feel better, but her way of doing it is driving me crazy.  She just talks, and talks, and talks, etc.  I just want to scream at her and tell her to shut up.  And I feel bad for feeling that way.

I almost lost it tonight though when she made some frozen pizzas  for dinner that she knows I hate.  I saw that was dinner and stomped off like a little kid having a tantrum and declared that I woudn't eat that.  DH went and got me something to eat from McDOnalds (which is one of the last things I need, but it did the trick).  I'm pretty sure MIL/FIL think I'm just a spoiled brat.  I didn't know I would ever get so upset over a pizza.

MrsMSG

Oh honey....I'm sure less than a frozen pizza would send me over the edge this soon after such a loss.  You got right ahead and "tantrum."  I think it's totally justified.

MrsA2Be

I'm sorry for your loss.  Do you think that your DH could intervene and get MIL to back off a little?  I hid behind my DH for a good two weeks. He answered all calls, answered the door and told people I was "sleeping", etc. 

If it makes you feel any better, I totally binged the first two days after my D&E - I wanted crappy food because that's how I felt.  I had eaten right for how long and it didn't help - so I ate crap.  Of course, the nurses caught on and put me on a low-sodium diet, so that ended fast for me.  Boo!

Hugs to you, hon.

coolteacher79

Becky,

I know your emotions must just be all over the place... that is so totally normal. Little things like that can just set you off. To someone who hasn't just experienced such a loss it may see like making a mountain over a molehill; but to the mom who just lost her precious baby, it's "one more thing." Like Monica said, go right ahead and tantrum.

How much longer will your IL's be there? Don't be afraid to tell people what you need... particularly if you need space. This isn't a time for you to worry about playing hostess; if your MIL is talking non-stop, then perhaps head up to your bedroom or something. It's not being rude... it's doing what you need, and right now, that's what matters most.

Do you have a few good books you can go read in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed? I know that helped me a lot. A few good ones on the loss of a child are Empty Cradle, Broken Heart; I'll Hold You in Heaven; Safe in the Arms of God; and Holding on to Hope. Maybe you'd find it healing to connect with some of these books? Just a thought on how to sort of "escape" from the crazyness of the IL's and do something theraputic for yourself.

Again, please feel free to e-mail me any time. My e-mail address is on my blog...

MerryMarisa

Oh Beckastar, you totally deserve McDonald's or whatever the hell you feel like eating.  Your loss is so fresh and honestly, you handled that with much more grace than I would have.  You are not a spoiled brat...you are a mother, grieving the loss of your child - I think you're entitled to a tantrum every now and then.  ((( BIG HUGS )))

MDBeachbride

I'm sure your MIL wasn't upset with you.  I can only imagine what you are going through and you have every right to be a moody, spoiled brat.  

 

I just read your loss post below.  I am so sorry.  ((hugs))