DH wants to be SAHD!

tzrbug

WTH?? After almost 1 yr of quitting my job to be SAHM, DH (joking or not really) said he wants to stay home w/ DS starting like March?? WHAT??!?!!?! Are you kidding me? This wasn't the deal at all, I was going to SAH with him for a few yrs and maybe, maybe go back to work unless we did decide to have #2. Then on top of some other issues we're having right now, I'm really thinking we need counseling we just CANT seem to get along or have anythign in common anymore   NE1 else feel the same?

Renee070806

i opened your post b/c i thought "aww, how sweet"

i dont have any advice and am not in the same boat..but wanted to wish you good luck!

im a sahm and i would fall off my chair if ds wanted my job..

babies dont make marriage easier, thats for sure!!!..counseling might not be a bad idea.

good luck!!!

eowynmn

What's the difference? you want to be a SAHM, why can't he want to be a SAHD?  Does he make twice as much as you would if you were in the work force?  If so, then I would think it's crazy.  If your incomes are similar, then why couldn't he? 

tzrbug

amen, not an easy job but its just getting to the "fun" part so he thinks he coudl hack it LOL Now that he's walking and communicating I wouldn't trade this job for anything, DH is the one that stresses me out and for months now. I think I'm going to see if he'd even consider counseling b/c I'm about tired of being upset with him and feeling so unappreciated. thanks for listening

lvisser

eowynmn:

What's the difference? you want to be a SAHM, why can't he want to be a SAHD?  Does he make twice as much as you would if you were in the work force?  If so, then I would think it's crazy.  If your incomes are similar, then why couldn't he? 

 

Good point... Luckly DH makes way more then I ever did... so I don't have to worry about it!  lol. 

Anyway... no words of advice really... I know DH would do it, but there is no way financially we could. 

 

JillAly

Is he having a rough time at work?  Are his bosses or co-workers giving him a hard time?  Sometimes guys won't say that they're afraid of losing their job or that the pressure is overwhelming.  If you're having trouble with him communicating, saying he wants to stay home may be his way of trying to tell you he's unhappy at work.  Ask him about it.  Maybe it will start you having a real in-depth conversation about what's going on with him.

Another thought I had was maybe he thinks it's easy staying home all day.  You know how much work it is but maybe he doesn't appreciate everything you do.  So give him a day or two on a weekend with a list of things you do every day with dc.  Maybe he'll appreciate going back to his job more (and give the added bonus of appreciating you more). 

Good luck in whatever happens.  As the other pp said, babies put a lot of stress on a marriage- especially when sleep deprivation gets bad!

tzrbug

YES by far double my salary. I was in sales w/ a company for 8 yrs, managed to work from home 3 days a wk but he did not agree (me either liking the idea of daycare) so I quit my job, which I wasn't in "love with" but liked the income.  He is in oilfield and makes a little more than double my salary.