I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant and I work as the office manager for my family (parents) business. For backstory, I used to be a teacher and always planned on being a sahm. However I now work for my family business as the office manager so me leaving them high and dry just isn’t an option. I took over my mom’s role and she basically just doesn’t want to work anymore, understandably. I do not want to put him in daycare, that was my reason for wanting to be a sahm to begin with, and we don’t have anyone in either of our families that would provide childcare for us nor would we want them to. I really want to raise him myself so therefore I’m going to try and do everything I can to navigate both.

My plan is to work from home as much as possible and bring him when I do have to go in to the office. I do not know exactly how many hours I will have to be in person in the office, I’m hoping as little as possible. But I already know the other girl in the office has her vacation planned 5 weeks after I give birth so I know I’m going to have to be there when she is gone. My dad has also said he just doesn’t see wfh as an option during our busy times. It’s frustrating because my parents have known since long before I worked for them that I wanted to be a sahm when my time came. But still feel like I can’t just leave them hanging and I am well paid. Does anyone have any sort of similar experience that can share any tips, sample schedule, etc? I truly don’t know how I’m going to do it but I need to at least try.

*edited to add as I feel the type of work I do is important - I handle most of our accounting, payroll etc all which can easily be done from home in between naps, even weekends whenever I can fit it in. My main concern is when I have to go into the office, there will be a lot of customers phoning in, scheduling, etc all of which has to be during normal business hours. I’m having trouble seeing the logistics of the in office days, like when do I wake up and eat breakfast, when do I get ready, exercise, make lunch, do housework, drive to and from work, get home and make dinner and fit an out of home work day into that? This is both me venting/crying for help and asking for practical advice/opinions etc

I fee we have our two daughters at a well run in home day care.  However, they shut down for a week or two each year, completely.  We're on our own to find day care.  We have to pay still as it's the provider's paid vacation.  However, we pay double for day care (provider and back up) for two weeks out of the year this way.  Is this the norm?  

I spent her naps playing fetch with the puppy or researching what new recipe I was going to try for her next meal. I spent the rest of the day playing one on one with her or cleaning the house. 

My husband came home to a spotless house and dinner made every single day after work. He ALWAYS complimented me for how smart our daughter was and how her actions were proof that I spent my days teaching her skills. (Flash cards, sign language, puzzles, drawing, sensory play, talking, walking, etc.) 

Just after her first birthday I was offered a job working from home that made double my husband’s salary. It was an offer we could not refuse. I was still able to breastfeed and be home with my baby. My husband was ecstatic to be a SAHD because he was MISERABLE at his job. Overall it seemed like the best option for my family. 

Now we are about a month in and I am at a loss for words. I absolutely LOVE my job. I love that I still get to be involved in my daughters care…..but my husband spends his days on the couch watching TV. He barely cleans anything (only if I ask). He adores our child, but does not spend his days teaching her/playing with her. The house is always a mess. Her meals consist of fast food and the least amount of effort he can put in type of meals. 

I remember being on my period one week and crying to my sister because I gave my daughter frozen waffles for breakfast and spent a few days on the couch. I felt like a failure! He considers that a win because she got fed.

We have talked about it more times than I can count and at this point it feels like wasted breath. I never wanted to pay someone else to raise my child when we could afford to live on one income. But now I feel like she would get more out of daycare than she is getting at home. I don’t know what to do anymore…. 

I still don’t want my child to be gone most of the day and me only be able to see her for a couple hours before bed. 

Advice? 

Should I put her to sleep earlier and hope she wakes up earlier? Do I wake her at 6 AM or let her sleep until she naturally wakes up?

I’d rather feed her than pump but don’t know if it’s worth disturbing her sleep. 

We have 2 girls, 5 and almost 2.5 years. While we were trying to decide whether or not to go for #3 he mentioned a reason for why he would not want another is bc he is afraid of resenting me if it’s not a boy. 

It’s been on my mind today and I will be discussing it with him tonight after our girls to bed. Have your so’s ever said something like that? Actually been resentful? Or something similar. What did you do? How did it turn out?

Thanks!

2 - 3 months after birth, I get a new job at a new employer

Do I qualify to take FMLA or a state's mandated leave, even though I have already had my baby, before I ever worked at this new company?  Or do I have to give birth on that company/job's watch, to qualify for any leave?  Has anyone been in this situation before - what did you do?  I know, there are minimum durations required to work at said company before qualifying to take any federal or state leave, so assume I will work that duration before requesting leave.

Thanks.