May 2012 Moms — The Bump

At my wits end

storm172666 — Tue, 09 May 2017 19:50:45 +0000

This may not be the right board to post this on but I just need to vent somewhere to someone. My marriage, if one can call it that, is on the rocks. I am sick and tired of playing mommy to this man. We've been together over 10 years, the first 5 years I catered to this man as if he was a god. I worshipped him. I'd been in love with him since I was 14, although he's 13 years older (nothing happened ever) until 10 years later when we got together when I was 24 and he 37. I had just bought an apt and had a great job. He was living in a rented room and working a part time job. BIG RED FLAGS that I saw but ignored. How naive was I to think he would become financially responsible? During those first 5 years we lived together but he didn't pay into anything in the house. Maybe groceries here and there. But never mortgage or maintenance or cable. I thought (stupidly I now know) that this was ok because it would help him save and catch up on his bills. But he did not save. Even when I was unemployed for 8 months, he did not give me a dollar although he had a full time job. I paid for everything from my unemployment checks. HUGE RED FLAG. I still married him. And had a kid with him. She is now 5 years old. Last year, year he finally semi-manned up and paid half the mortgage. After 10 years living for free. And he still has no savings. And nothing in checking. Owns nothing but his car. Has purchased NOTHING in the house with the exception of 1 TV. He's now been unemployed since early December. He claims he was traumatized the first 2 months (he's a truck driver and the truck jack knifed) so he didn't look for a job. OK. Fine. But it's not been another 3 months and nothing. I get home from work and this man is reclined on my couch watching tv. 2-3 times a week he'll have cooked, and that's about it. If he hasn't cooked he'll ask why I don't just cook. Well because I'm not going to get out of my full time job, to go pick up our daughter to then go home and cook when a man has been sitting around all day doing nothing. He won't pick our daughter up from school - my parents take care of that, even though he's home doing nothing. I come home to a sink full of dishes, his clothes everywhere and him watching Family Feud as if nothing is wrong. If I mention the fact that he's done nothing all day, he gets defensive, as he did this morning when I asked him when he's going to get around to putting the living room tv up (which I just purchased- although he picked it out) his response was "am I your slave?" Seriously. I asked him if he thinks this is fair, for me to be carry everything on my own while he just hangs around and he got defensive like "oh, i don't do anything?" very sarcastically. Apparently he thinks cooking 2-3 times a week is pulling his weight. I realize this is all mostly my fault, for allowing it in the first place, for not seeing the red flags, for marrying him anyway and then having a child with this type of person. I feel so embarrassed. I have no idea why I've put up with any of this when i come from a home where my father always provided. How'd I end up with a man so comfortable being maintained by a woman? Has he no shame? Where is his pride? His male ego? I've tried to keep the peace for my daughter to have both parents around, but is it even worth it, if what she's seeing is one parent miserable because the other parent is a bum? The last thing he said to me this morning was that he can't wait to get a job so he doesn't have to hear my mouth. Shouldn't he be anxious to get a job so he can provide for his family? Or even himself at this point? I feel so alone because I can't tell any family or friends about this situation - it's too embarrassing for me.

Sushi and pregnant women!

Knottie1445142049 — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 00:05:51 +0000

i know they have said to stay away from sushi but the the more research i do the more i come up with the answer... moderation is key and low mercury levels! i have a friend that lived in Japan during pregnancy and she really couldn't get away from the stuff... she was worried and talked to her doctor and they came up with really watching the fish she ate and try moderation! Here are some links that i have found helpful.
https://www.parents.com/blogs/everything-pregnancy/2013/07/15/cravings/is-sushi-safe-during-pregnancy/
https://www.babymed.com/food-and-nutrition/how-safe-it-eat-sushi-or-raw-fish-during-pregnancy
https://munchies.vice.com/en/articles/pregnant-women-can-basically-feel-free-to-stuff-their-faces-with-sushi
Obviously you should always talk to you doctor and make sure it's right for you! also i am NOT a medical professional.

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so, who's pregnant? :-)

papeete — Sat, 22 Nov 2014 16:10:28 +0000

I am! I am! Who else? How's it going? I was so excited to get pregnant again, have heard three years is a great age gap, etc.

I forgot what the first trimester felt like, and I'm looking forward to the second trimester. :-)

(My partner and I decided to go ten days without complaining and criticizing, starting today, so I am carefully choosing my words not to include things like tired and hungry and woozy...)

Hope all is well! Since it's so early, we still haven't told many people, and I want to tell someone else! :-)

any other siblings present during birth?

papeete — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 20:43:53 +0000

Hi, mamas,

Did any of you have your older kids at the new baby's birth? Our daughter will be 3 and a month when our second is due, and we're debating whether to include her in our birth experience.

Any advice or stories (good or bad)?

Thanks in advance! :-)

pregnant and crying? this'll make you feel better :-)

papeete — Thu, 28 May 2015 20:24:26 +0000

I loved this and wanted to share with anyone else who feels like pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster: https://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/20-silly-things-pregnant-ladies-cry-over/?scid=preg_2_20150528:4&pe=MlVBUGJIN3wyMDE1MDUyOA

Enjoy! :-)

Any one still there??

bellelamb — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 00:00:23 +0000

I haven't been on in a long time I don't like the update or all the drama but miss you ladies is anyone still around??

Happy Easter

bellelamb — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 12:19:30 +0000

Happy easter!!

Pre-school 5 Day?

[Deleted User] — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:19:54 +0000

Hey ladies!

Ok so my daycare is medium... My kid loves it and it's fairly inexpensive, BUT she does stupid things like charges us for snow days (yes so we pay her twice, once on snow day and once again in June). Oh - she only sits for teachers, so it's an easy schedule. In home and I love most aspects, but not all. Snow day charges being number one. She currently goes five days a week (our parents work so that sucks) and takes a nap there.

Anyhow - so next year we are looking at pre-schools and pondering a five day preschool where we can end up saving $100/month AND she'll actually be learning.

So - anyone have any older kids they put into full week full day preschool at the age of three? How did they fare? I'm thinking she'll be fine, but just nervous! LOL

School! CRAZY! how does it go by so fast?! I am super excited for it though : )

TIA!

I don't like this at all

dlynn484 — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 02:23:38 +0000

I've made a few replies on posts tonight and my full name is showing up instead of my user name. I made no changes to my personal settings. I emailed the support and they haven't gotten back to me. I hate feeling so exposed. I felt like I needed to post this somewhere and I guess I feel most comfortable here. The only things I've done differently is log onto a computer to update my tickers and I read a message from someone inviting me to move to the Proboards. I hate feeling so exposed.

So....wwyd?

littleredfish — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 02:21:22 +0000

This totally feels like a 1st Tri question, but I just need to ask you ladies so here goes.

So as most of you know, DH and I have been TTC for a while now. I am super regular with my cycles, like I can almost time them to the hour, it's ridiculous. This time however, Day 1 of AF was due Friday. It started and I was disappointed because I planned to test Saturday but then it tapered off and stopped completely overnight Friday. Nothing since. I've tested daily since and all neg. WTF? The bleeding seems like it was too heavy for what I've read on implantation bleeding. I keep feeling like I'm cramping but I'm not sure if that's in my head because then it goes away and still nothing. Why is my body messing with me? This is cruel. DH leaves on the 28th and this is our last cycle if we have to make this happen. Is 3 days really not that long to be late? Does it just seem that way because I'm freaking out? I want to run to my doctor for a blood test but I'm afraid she'll look at me like I'm nuts (and maybe I am).

Spray paint in nursery

america68 — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 01:02:44 +0000

My husband had to spray paint some of the shelving for the baby's closet. It was really cold outside, so without thinking he decided to spray paint the shelving inside the nursery room. He only did one shelf and not completely, but I am now worried about the toxins in the room. We used VOC free paint for everything already and the carpet is being professionally cleaned (as there was also some discoloration) but wondering if this will be enough to make it baby safe? I am hoping we don't have to replace the carpet (even if it is discolored I was hoping we could get an area rug) but I don't want to bring baby home to it if it isn't safe. We have about two months until our due date. Thoughts??

Because I'm crazy

bellelamb — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 03:06:32 +0000

I'm already planing Lucas's birthday! I can't believe my baby will be three!! We're doing a Mickey party it's the first year all the cousins are not here :( but I think we've made a few friends that we will invite. The long winter makes me crazy so I start planing now to keep me sane ;)

TGI-Hump day

littleredfish — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 13:52:58 +0000

Seriously, this is the longest week ever! Probably doesn't help that I'm waiting until Saturday to test. Keep your fingers crossed for a BFP.
Also that this snow will stop, this is just getting annoying now.

already thinking of spring

MelissaMiso — Sat, 27 Dec 2014 15:49:01 +0000

I absolutely love winter, but I am already thinking about spring gardening.

kidlette's fears?

MelissaMiso — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 23:10:42 +0000

What are your kidlette's fearing now-a-days?

Sophia is fearful of the blender, the vacuum, and her rambunctious 4 year old cousin.

Roll call and check in!!!

littleredfish — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 22:06:13 +0000

We've been even more dead than usual lately! I've been so busy with work I'll admit I've mainly lurked. How about we check in with who's still around and list a couple things about what's new or new to come in the new year.

So obviously I'm still around here and there.

I was finally allowed to hire a new employee so I'll have help now, and will be able to step back and breath a bit.It's only been a week, but I already feel more rested.
DH and I are still trying for #2. Keep your fingers crossed because DH is off for training March for half the year. Only this cycle and then one more before we have to wait until fall to try again!!
My best friend and also BIL are getting married this year and each are on opposite ends of the country, so I have 2 big trips to make this year!
DD will be starting a tumbling/gymnastics class in a few weeks. She likes swimming, but the classes for her age group don't mesh well with our schedule so we found this instead. I think she'll like it.
DH was asked by his preferred unit if he wanted to transfer to them after his final course this year, so we might be moving again. It's not a major move and we'd only be going about an hour west, but we're still very excited for it.

Stero typical sahm

bellelamb — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 12:19:33 +0000

Yes that's me, I drive a mini van, belong to mops (a mommy and me group), and now I'm signing on as a Jamberry consultant yes I'll be selling things at parties like 31, permire jewelry, or Avon!

the bump app

mrsshawnavanb — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 01:52:24 +0000

Is awesome! That's all I have to say, I just downloaded it and am so happy to be able to easily stay in touch now!

It's a......

selockar — Tue, 16 Dec 2014 13:37:35 +0000

GIRL!!!!!!!

I'm still in shock. I have 2 boys and thought for sure our 3rd would be a boy. I'm so excited we are having a girl!

My baby boy is here!

mrsshawnavanb — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 02:10:48 +0000

I haven't been on the site for about a month now. DS was born on December 6th. I labored at home from 5am until about 4 pm. We left the house with contractions 8 minutes apart and by the time we got to the hospital (only 15 mins away) they were only TWO minutes apart and I was in some real pain. DS was born at 545pm. He is such a blessing DD is absolutely in love with him and such a great big sister!

i love winter

MelissaMiso — Sat, 10 Jan 2015 15:45:29 +0000

I really do. Sophia takes after me because she LOVES being outside in the snow and shoveling. How are you and your kidlettes feel about winter weather?

Moving toddler to bed- bed suggestions?

lnelson2011 — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 19:17:56 +0000

So I am planning on moving my 2.5 year old to a bed soon. Mainly because I am pregnant and the new baby will need her crib. So it is more like an eviction

Anyways, I have heard that toddler beds are kind of a waste of money, as they grow out of them pretty quickly. So we were wanting to go with a twin size bed. I want to buy a girly head board or bed frame for her. Any suggestions on where to get one for a good price?

TIA.

Pics with santa

mrsshawnavanb — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 17:48:39 +0000

Last year DD was not a fan. I took her to the mall this weekend to see Santa, thinking that the lines wouldn't be too long yet and she did great. She told him that she wanted a doll house. Then, when we were picking which photos to buy and paying, she stuck her bottom lip out and sighed and I asked her what was wrong. She said "But, where is my doll house?!" Lol, I about died laughing. We had to explain to her that she has to be a good girl and maybe santa will bring her a dollhouse for Christmas. If anyone else has taken your LO(s) please share pics of your cuties!

But seriously though,

littleredfish — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:58:51 +0000

I brought home a foster cat a few weeks ago with her 6 little babies, and I think she's pregnant again. She came to us a month ago and her babies were like 2 weeks old so if she got pregnant shortly after birth before coming in we wouldn't have caught it until about now. So many moms around me having babies right now.

Bumed

bellelamb — Thu, 25 Dec 2014 01:57:51 +0000

Normaly Christmas Eve is spent at my inlaws all day with lots of family good fun and presents, my sil and here dh and three kids moved to Florida this year we're in ny, my bil can't come down he's 2.5 hours away until Friday because his stupid ex wife is pregnant and can't travel to her family's house (which is the same as my in laws town) so bil can't come if he wants to see his son at all so we were going to have dinner with mil and fil and go to church today but my kids are SICK!!!! So this has been the most boring let down of a day :/ Thanks I feel better I just needed to vent I know things could be way worse I'm just so into christmas that this is very anticlimactic plus I got my period today which doesn't help. Here's hoping tomorrow is better

Homemade cheese its

selockar — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 18:40:00 +0000

I had to share this recipe. I just made these with the boys and they are amazing! The kids are napping and I'm having a hard time staying away from them. I will be make more tomorrow!

https://www.agoldenafternoon.com/food/junkfood-remade-cheese-its/

Posting pictures of sick kids on Facebook (vent)

MadAsh127 — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:21:46 +0000

Why do people do this? I'll never understand it. The farthest things from my mind when my child is sick are my camera and Facebook. Why do people insist on posting pictures of their kids while they're ill and updates that consist of "Little so-and-so is sick with a hacking cough and a fever of 104, we're on our way to the ER now". Is it for attention? I don't enjoy worrying my family, so I stay as far away from Facebook with any updates that might involve sickness or bringing my child to the hospital. Maybe I'm one of the rare ones though...

I get updating immediate family that might already be aware of the little one's illness, but this just seems like a step further than that. An unnecessary step, at that.

XP from FB May Moms

MelissaMiso — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 21:49:49 +0000

As I was picking up some snacks for our rocking New Years cuddle fest with the family I decided to donate a few bucks to Long Island Cares (a food bank) at the register and to the lady collecting for Teen Challenge (sober support/counseling for teens and young adults) outside the entrance. Driving home it dawned on me what my resolution for the year is: 52 random acts of kindness/charity. Once a week I will give to others. I'm not sharing this for accolades, but if even one of you join in that will be 104 acts. The more the merrier the world will be.

finally finished the semester

MelissaMiso — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 00:12:13 +0000

Holy moly I'm exhausted but I survived the semester. How has everyone been?

Coming back and man is she CRAZY...

[Deleted User] — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 14:00:16 +0000

Hey ladies... it's been a while, my apologies. I'm a photographer (in addition to being a teacher) so my summer/fall is super super hectic (wedding anyone? October is the new June in New England). but THANKFULLY it's slowed down so I finally had a chance to visit and not feel guilty about "wasting time." LOL So, hope all is well, I see some new additions - CONGRATS! no new additions here (house renovations will be underway in spring/summer so prob a 2016 sibling!).

Anyways, my DD is crazy. Wondering if there are any other mom's out there who are truly losing their mind? LOL She's bi-polar, she operates at an 11 all the time and is SO INTENSE. she will drop something and it's the end of the world. she doesn't want something and it gets thrown on the floor. my husband and i look at each other like WTF??? at least 5 times a day. I mean, i think we are good parents and trying to raise her right, not give in and be stern, remain even keeled and stick to routines. sooooo what the heck? i understand at 2 1/2 the threes can start and please God I hope so cuz if this gets worse I'm moving out!

Our ways of dealing with her shananigans are time outs for her or her stuffed animals (sometimes she gives zero f*cks when we put her in time out), walking away, staying calm and questioning her as to why she is upset and asking her to explain in words not screaming babble. She has an excellent vocab so when she wants to she'll talk your ear off. when she's upset it's just yelling, and snots, and throwing... oiy.

Any suggestions or things that have worked well for you? I just keep crossing my fingers and hope it doesn't get any crazier til at least 12 or 13!

TIA and have a great weekend!

IMPORTANT - Bookmark this page!

BumpMay — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 22:20:15 +0000

Hi ladies,

Want to give you a heads up that we will be adding new BMBs to our homepage on Monday, December 22. Currently, if you click on our homepage it is still showing 2012 BMBs.

To access this page moving forward, you will need to bookmark this board.

Please PM me if you have any questions!

Thank you

GTKY holiday beverages

MelissaMiso — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 05:55:01 +0000

What do you like to spike your hot cocoa with?

What about egg nog?

Other favorite adult beverages around the holidays?

How about favorite food and drink pairing?

I Like You :)

svenskalamb13 — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:50:20 +0000

It has been awhile since I have hung out on this board. I recently found out Im pregnant with baby #2 and omg the aug15 board is a mess! So many hormones! Since my symptoms arent that strong, I think Im gonna hang out with you guys

Christmas presents

ebl2 — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 22:33:44 +0000

I know it's super early but I'm a planner. What are you all planning on getting your LOs for Christmas this year?

So mad at my body right now

littleredfish — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 03:54:54 +0000

AF runs like clockwork whether I am on BC or not and she is currently 6 days late. What do I do? Take a pregnancy test. What do I get? A BFN. I've been a hormonal mess; this week has been horrible for breakouts which was not a problem for me even as a teenager and I just got a random yeast infection which I haven't had in forever. FML. What is happening to me right now? I want to curl up and cry and/or throw my wine glass at the wall in a dramatic scene. Sorry, I had to vent/pout.

Everly Rose is here!

ebl2 — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 16:34:38 +0000

Everly Rose was born on 12/1/14 at 5:20 pm after a very fast labor. She weighs 8 pounds even and is 21 inches long. DD1 is so in love with her! DD1 could not stop smiling when meeting her and the first time she held her she said to her, "Aww, Evie, you're my best friend." My heart melted.

What do you like to do for alone time?

littleredfish — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 02:17:15 +0000

If it exists....

I have a day off tomorrow and I'm going to go shopping, go see Mockingjay in theater and then come home and do my nails. DH says I'm nuts for going to the movies alone. I've done it a ton of times and I actually like it. What do you do with your alone time?

GTKY thanksgiving

bellelamb — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 12:44:39 +0000

What are the things you HAVE to have at thanksgiving besides the normally turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes?? For me it's a broccoli and cheese casserole and a raw cranberry and Orange relish! I actually make both to take to my inlaws now and they've become a fav there too!! Best part is I can make a 4x batch and do one for each family for thanksgiving and Christmas now and freeze them so there's less craziness closer to the holidays

Christmas gift help please!

najzomax — Sat, 01 Nov 2014 22:52:58 +0000

So DH and I finally agreed in what to get DD for Christmas. We are getting her a kids table and chairs from ikea and a tool box of art supplies. I found an awesome ladies tool box at Walmart with tons of pockets in the outside and a sturdy handle. Now I need ideas on what to put in it!

I already have: construction paper, scissors, white glue, crayons, a big roll of plain paper, and beads. She got paints, brushes, and a couple of smocks for her birthday that we haven't used up also. I'm also planning on getting pipe cleaners, googley eyes, and Pom Poms. What am I missing?

Also, I need craft ideas! Lots of them. We do colouring but not much else because I can never think of something simple for her to do. For the ladies on Pinterest please feel free to send me any craft pins you have. TIA