Adoption — The Bump

Need Honest Advice: 4 Years of Trying to Conceive, Should I Consider Adoption?

knottiec4554a0fd79dfd6a — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 11:53:29 +0000

Everyone, I’m here to share a personal issue that is really bothering me. I am trying to conceive, and the healthcare partner is Kior Healthcare, and it’s been 4 years, but I still couldn’t become a mom. As you all know, adoption is a second option for me, but I’m not sure whether it would be the right decision or not. Could you give me some advice?

Adopting children over 10

knottie3cb7004d53062588 — Fri, 01 Aug 2025 05:59:07 +0000

Hi everyone, I once researched adoption long ago when I was trying to write a book and one of my characters was adopted as a baby. In that research I had read a lot of adults who were adopted as babies felt robbed of their true identities and access to their heritage. I’m 31, about to be 32 and my husband is 31. Ive been having a really hard time conceiving and I’m starting to look at adoption as a real option for my family.

However as a teacher I’ve made deep connections with children of all ages and I’m really curious about how children 10 and over feel about adoption. What I mean is, was it difficult for you to adapt to your new family? Did you ever feel like you loved your adoptive parents? I’m sure I’ll get a wide variety of responses but I’m just nervous that if I do adopt a child (regardless of age) they won’t be happy with me. Or I’ll end up causing them emotional harm somehow? But maybe there’s something your adoptive parents could have done to make things better?

Maybe this all sounds silly but my dream is to be a mother and I want to go about adoption the right way that best serves the child.

Still waiting!

Axl2 — Sun, 06 Jun 2021 04:11:23 +0000

I haven’t been on here in awhile but we just did our 5 year update. Our file hasn’t been shown in 6 months I’m starting to get frustrated with the entire journey. My husband and I have talked about this being our last year on the wait list. Covid is not helping with wait I can’t wait to go on vacation!

Family surrogacy/parental rights

momintraining1010 — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 21:51:24 +0000

Hello all !

I am infertile and my sister has graciously offered to carry a baby for me and my husband. However I have no viable eggs. She would be using her own eggs and my husbands sperm.

My question is has anyone had a family member be their surrogate ? And how difficult or costly was the legal process.

Thank you all in advance ❤️

We are looking to Adopt!

knottief8c936ce40a4fbef — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 15:05:29 +0000

My husband and I tried conceiving and found out I can't get pregnant without the risk me dying in child birth or me and the baby dying. So we decided to adopt. We had a young pregnant mother that we were going to legally adopt her child, but another family that her guardians knew offered money to the guardians to get the child after birth. Needless to say, they chose to go with the other family since they could offer thousands more than we can and we didn't have it legally agreed upon yet.

I was very hurt and disappointed. My husband and I can afford to take care of our family now and a new child, however we don't have $45,000 to put into adoption agencies as that is the amount we have been quoted for several different agencies. We considered the state adoption, but they have a freeze on new families trying to adopt any child younger than 7 years of age.

I am reaching out to any resources that I know of in hopes of finding a pregnant mother or a mother that just gave birth who is considering putting their child up for adoption so we can be considered for adoption as an independent adoption process with an adoption lawyer without going through an adoption agency paying ridiculous amounts of money for just listing our profile and being on a waitlist. Any help, suggestions, or resources anyone can provide would be so appreciate!

I placed my son for adoption 4 years ago. Today is his birthday.

turtletaylor0522 — Mon, 15 Aug 2022 13:08:10 +0000

I handed my baby to his mama four years ago. She is amazing, his dad is great, and his big brother is perfect. I have never regretted my decision for one second. It’s been very hard, but worth it.

We are in a semi-open adoption. I get updates yearly- photos and a letter.

This is the first year I’ll also have my son. He is three months old. I’m not sure if it’s helping, or if time has helped heal more than I thought. I’ve cried, of course, but I don’t feel so much loss as I did four years ago.

I’m in a very different place now. I graduated college, I’m married, we have a house, and everything is stable. Maybe that helps, too. Placing my first son for adoption was in no way selfish- it was all for him and his well being- but I would not be where I am now if I had chosen to parent. And I’ve come to accept that, rather than struggle with it. Because for a long time I felt guilty for enjoying the life I have now. He’s living his best life, that means the world to me. So why shouldn’t I live my best life, too?

So I’ll continue thinking of him and praying for him every day and look forward to this year’s update in the mail. And I’ll continue loving the life I’m living with my husband and son.

I’m just putting this out there for whatever reason.

Happy birthday, my little nutbrown hare. ❤️

Might be pregnant

cnfoley5 — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 02:28:52 +0000

i know this is a weird subject for this group, but let me tell you my story. I was adopted at 14, later on in my life. I had a hell of an early life that I’ll tell you about someday. Anyways for now I’m 31 and have two sons. I always knew I wanted to adopt one day and after many sleepless nights I decided I wasn’t going to try for the “girl” I wanted to go out and find my girl. My adoptive parents and I have this saying that we All fell in love. My husband needed time so I let him breathe, because I can be very pushy and obsessive lol. A week or two ago I brought up an a foster parent meeting. And the next thing I know I am waiting and hoping to get my period. I am kinda sad because three kids is probably all we can handle and I wanted to find a little girl to be the “cherry on top” of our family, my boys are both into the idea and I’m scared if I am pregnant and we have another child we will never get to adopt.We never ever have slips and I sorta wonder if my husband did it on purpose. And it’s only once. Any way that’s my story for now. One more week till AF should be here.

Considering adoption for your baby?

nolanpsalm4610 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 22:19:49 +0000

Are you a Mom considering adoption for your baby? My husband and I along with our young son are hoping to adopt. If you are interested in learning about an adoptive family for your baby, or if you just need someone to talk to about what your going through, please let me know. I’d love to help however I can.

ADOPT NEWBORN BABY

mm6349000 — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 12:54:01 +0000

A close relative lost and their 2 kids, between ages 0-2. They are in foster care & looking for an adoptive family. I know the chances of them being adopted together are very low (They already mentioned separating them) & even separated they could still be in the system for years before being adopted. Ive seen first hand how terrible it all can be & do not want these sweet kids to have to go through that. My husband & I would love to adopt them but we already have 1,3 and 5 year old toddler boys. I have had all 5 of them together quite often & besides small arguments between the youngest 2 girls & my 3 year old they generally get along well.

A few issues I am worried about are:

• The chance that they might endanger my toddlers - They are very sweet kids & their temperaments have improved dramatically since being in foster care but they have been somewhat aggressive in the past.
• Space - We own a 3 bedroom home currently but are searching for a larger house. DHS said they may be able to make an exception since we are relatives. The girls would still have more space than they ever have before.

My husband has a good job & we have good health insurance so financially we may need to be a little more frugal but it shouldn’t cause any problems. We have always wanted to adopt a sibling group but ideally younger than our biological children and once we have bought a larger house & farm. Are we crazy for wanting to do this? Do you think it would be a good or bad idea for our family?

I would love to hear input especially from adoptive parents, adoptive siblings & adoptees!

(302)217-3041‬
mm6349000@gmail.com

Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents March 2023

britters314 — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 01:09:29 +0000

I’ve been lurking the board the past week or two and haven’t seen any activity, but I thought I’d see if anyone else is lurking and would like to join in.

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

Any questions?

Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

GTKY (Get to know you):

Any Other Birthmothers Out There?

turtletaylor0522 — Mon, 26 Dec 2022 00:44:09 +0000

Is anyone else on here a birthmother? I know there isn’t a lot going on here in general.

I placed my first son in his mom’s arms in August of 2018. I miss him so much. All the time. I don’t regret my decision. It was the best and hardest choice I’ve ever made.

We have a semi-open adoption. I get updates via a letter and lots of photos through the adoption agency every year in August. It’s very good for us because we don’t have unrealistic expectations of each other. The structure of it is a blessing.

Please post a reply here or send me a direct message if any birthmothers want to connect.

Children with Special Needs

[Deleted User] — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 13:28:34 +0000

I would love to hear some experience from families who have adopted a child or children with Special Needs.

We are not yet ready to adopt, but in looking at the younger children available in my State through the foster/adopt system, it looks like there are very few, and the few I see have very high needs.

What can you say to someone who has a loving home to give, but who sees a child like that with such a great need and feels daunted, who may not feel equipped to take on all those challenges?

November 2020 - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

bluetickgal — Mon, 09 Nov 2020 14:54:22 +0000

I figured I would attempt to resurrect this board and see if anyone else wanted to join.

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)?

Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

Any questions?

Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

GTKY (Get to know you): What is your favorite Thanksgiving tradition and/or dish?

Transracial Adoption

buggsrule — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 01:17:01 +0000

Hi Bump friends..
I am very old Bump member.... I've adopted three kids... and I was active back aorund 2010-2012. My kids are 9, 8, and 6 and they were domestically adopted as infants.

I feel a complete loss with our country right now... if you are contemplating transracial adoption, this is for you.

Adoption is hard. Adoption starts in loss. Transracial adoption is everything I just said times ten. Kids lose their culture and roots. I can't stress how profound this is for your child and for you. My husband and I were socially liberal and involved in racial justice prior to adoption... or so we thought. When you add a child of color to your family, the stakes feel so much higher.

To raise a Black son and to look at the headline stories... it is hard. There is nothing I can do that will prevent my son from being singled out for the color of his skin. I have cried multiple times this week. For the last six years, I've felt like I come up short for him... over and over again. As much as we try to be what he needs, we can not be Black. That will never change. And that is SIGNIFICANT.

I don't know how to prepare parents for transracial adoption. What I do know is the agencies and the lawyers we used say they prepared us... We were not prepared. Our hearts didn't know what it would feel like to have family members fawn over my child but not stand up to racism. My heart didn't know how it would feel or what I'd need to do when my son, at two, was shooed away from a white child because his parents didn't want my son to be playing side by side (note: when they saw I was his mom, they then said "oh... I didn't know whose child this was.. he's yours.. he's so cute".. As if to say, having a white parent makes my child okay now to play with.)

We live in Southern California. We live in a college town. It's extremely liberal. We have lots of friends who are people of color. But it still is hard. Daily.

I wouldn't change a thing... But I ask that you each look internally. How are you reacting to what's happening in this country? Are you just condemning the rioting? Are you reading The Root or other Black publications? If your first reaction was not to stand up for Aubery or Floyd, please reconsider adopting transracially. Your child is going to need you to be strong. Your child is going to need you to speak out. Your child does not need luke warm support... but someone who will lead others and stand strong in convictions.

I am always happy to chat about my experiences as an adoptive mom and as a transracially adoptive mom.

Peace.

October Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents (It's late - sorry)

SaphireSweetie88 — Mon, 14 Oct 2019 18:57:53 +0000

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

Any questions?

Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

GTKY (Get to know you): What is your comedy movie?

October - Birth Parents (Late I know - sorry)

SaphireSweetie88 — Mon, 14 Oct 2019 19:00:30 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) Favorite comedy movie?

October I was adopted / in foster care (Sorry this is late)

SaphireSweetie88 — Mon, 14 Oct 2019 18:56:12 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) Favorite comedy movie?

Sept 2019 - I was adopted / in foster care

SaphireSweetie88 — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 01:11:42 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) Favorite book?

Sept 2019 - Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

SaphireSweetie88 — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 01:08:33 +0000

Sept 2019 - Birth Parents

SaphireSweetie88 — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 01:10:27 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) Favorite music genre?

April - Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

britters314 — Sat, 13 Apr 2019 18:02:57 +0000

March - Adoptive Parents and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Wed, 06 Mar 2019 02:05:05 +0000

Might finally have a match

AnnieR81 — Tue, 12 Feb 2019 20:28:36 +0000

I was just contacted by our adoption agency today to ask if they could present my profile to an expectant mother. She's actually a few days overdue at this point so the baby could come at any time.

I really hope she picks me out of the group of profiles being presented. We are beginning our 3rd year of waiting with our agency so it's very encouraging to see that they may have found a good match.

I won't know until late this week or early next so fingers crossed and I'll post an update.

January - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Sat, 05 Jan 2019 01:50:47 +0000

January - Birth Parents

AnnieR81 — Sat, 05 Jan 2019 01:55:11 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) How did you ring in the New Year?

January - I was Adopted or in Foster Care

AnnieR81 — Sat, 05 Jan 2019 01:53:22 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) How did you ring in the New Year?

January - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Sat, 05 Jan 2019 01:50:14 +0000

November - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

britters314 — Tue, 13 Nov 2018 02:41:17 +0000

September - I was Adopted or in Foster Care

AnnieR81 — Mon, 03 Sep 2018 22:12:13 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) What autumn activities are you looking forward to most this year?

October - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

britters314 — Fri, 05 Oct 2018 01:57:30 +0000

September - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Mon, 03 Sep 2018 22:00:03 +0000

September - Birth Parents

AnnieR81 — Mon, 03 Sep 2018 22:10:33 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) What autumn activities are you most looking forward to this year?

September - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Mon, 03 Sep 2018 21:57:09 +0000

August - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Sat, 04 Aug 2018 22:16:31 +0000

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

Any questions?

Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

GTKY (Get to know you) What movie are you/were youmost looking forward to seeing this year?

August - Birth Parents

AnnieR81 — Sat, 04 Aug 2018 22:37:28 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) what movie are you/were you most looking forward to see this year?

August - I was Adopted or in Foster Care

AnnieR81 — Sat, 04 Aug 2018 22:35:34 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) What movie are you/were you looking most looking forward to see this year?

June- Adoptive and Hopefully Adoptive Parents

SaphireSweetie88 — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 17:59:12 +0000

June - I was adopted or in foster care

SaphireSweetie88 — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 18:01:31 +0000

Were you adopted or were you in foster care? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Were you adopted, in foster care?

-At what age were you adopted / fostered?

-Do you have contact with your birth family?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placed in to a foster home or adoption?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-Any questions?

-Anything else to add?

- GTKY (get to know you) Favorite guilty pleasure TV show?

June - Birth Parents

SaphireSweetie88 — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 18:00:18 +0000

Did you place a child for adoption? Is your child in a foster home? If so, please tell us more about you and your experiences.

-Are you the birth mother or birth father?

-At what age was your child placed for adoption? or in a foster home?

-Do you have contact with your child or the family that adopted them or is fostering them?

-What kind of contact?

-How did you handle knowing you were placing a child?

-Any tips from your experience?

-What was your experience, overall?

-GTKY (get to know you) Favorite guilty pleasure TV show?

May - Adoprive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81 — Sun, 06 May 2018 18:46:56 +0000

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any summer vacation plans in the works?