How do you feel about bridal showers for a second wedding?

SweetPeanis · April 2010

So there have been loads of posts it seems about second baby showers for your second kid.

But what about second bridal showers for a second wedding? How do you feel about that?

TheMrs923 · April 2010

I really don't judge people on the shower thing because if someone wants to host a party to celebrate a happy moment in your life, no matter how many times it's already happened, then good for you!

hippotree · April 2010

I guess I judge it less than a shower for a second baby. But I really have no idea why I feel that way.

MNgirl326 · April 2010

TheMrs923:
I really don't judge people on the shower thing because if someone wants to host a party to celebrate a happy moment in your life, no matter how many times it's already happened, then good for you!

this. Most people don't ask for showers, they are offered. And if someone wants to offer throwing one, I am not one to judge.

SweetPeanis · April 2010

It depends on how far apart the weddings are. Like my brother who got a divorce in August and got re-married in January. We didn't throw his wife-to-be a shower becuase we thought it was kind tacky. We did do a "shower in a bag" thing and took her out for a girls night...but no big shower.

Same with BIL who was divorced in May and re-married in July. No shower for you! In fact I'm pretty sure we didn't give them a wedding gift either.

Dee1028 · April 2010

I don't like wedding showers at all. No matter what marriage it is. I realize why they are useful and why people want them. But in my personal opinion in this day and age, they are gift grabby. In 1950 it made sense to do a wedding shower before a couple lived together and before they had a lot of shared household items.

I don't feel there should be a shower for an event that you get gifts for anyway. To me, it's like having a birthday shower.

Having said that, I didn't want one but when others have them I have no problem buying gifts for them and I don't judge those who have them. It is a personal choice and that was just my own personal preference when I got married.

TheMrs923 · April 2010

Dee1028:
I don't like wedding showers at all. No matter what marriage it is. I realize why they are useful and why people want them. But in my personal opinion in this day and age, they are gift grabby. In 1950 it made sense to do a wedding shower before a couple lived together and before they had a lot of shared household items.
I don't feel there should be a shower for an event that you get gifts for anyway. To me, it's like having a birthday shower.
Having said that, I didn't want one but when others have them I have no problem buying gifts for them and I don't judge those who have them. It is a personal choice and that was just my own personal preference when I got married.

Do you feel the same way for people who don't live together before getting married? Our wedding night was the first night DH and I slept through the entire night in the same bed...

SweetPeanis · April 2010

TheMrs923:
Dee1028:

I don't like wedding showers at all. No matter what marriage it is. I realize why they are useful and why people want them. But in my personal opinion in this day and age, they are gift grabby. In 1950 it made sense to do a wedding shower before a couple lived together and before they had a lot of shared household items.

I don't feel there should be a shower for an event that you get gifts for anyway. To me, it's like having a birthday shower.

Having said that, I didn't want one but when others have them I have no problem buying gifts for them and I don't judge those who have them. It is a personal choice and that was just my own personal preference when I got married.

Do you feel the same way for people who don't live together before getting married? Our wedding night was the first night DH and I slept through the entire night in the same bed...

DH and I didn't live together before we were married either and everything that we owned was hand me downs from our parents!

TheMrs923 · April 2010

DH and I live in the apartment above the funeral home. We bought all of our furniture and most everything else we needed and then my sister/MOH and BMs threw me a shower. I don't really see anything wrong with it.

Dee1028 · April 2010

***SweetPea***:
TheMrs923:
Dee1028:

I don't like wedding showers at all. No matter what marriage it is. I realize why they are useful and why people want them. But in my personal opinion in this day and age, they are gift grabby. In 1950 it made sense to do a wedding shower before a couple lived together and before they had a lot of shared household items.

I don't feel there should be a shower for an event that you get gifts for anyway. To me, it's like having a birthday shower.

Having said that, I didn't want one but when others have them I have no problem buying gifts for them and I don't judge those who have them. It is a personal choice and that was just my own personal preference when I got married.

Do you feel the same way for people who don't live together before getting married? Our wedding night was the first night DH and I slept through the entire night in the same bed...

DH and I didn't live together before we were married either and everything that we owned was hand me downs from our parents!

That is a very valid point, I guess I just assume that everyone lives together first, that is a (obviously) stupid assumption. Like I said, I respect the choice for someone to have one (or for someone to throw one for you) but I personally did not want one.

MNgirl326 · April 2010

***SweetPea***:
TheMrs923:
Dee1028:

I don't like wedding showers at all. No matter what marriage it is. I realize why they are useful and why people want them. But in my personal opinion in this day and age, they are gift grabby. In 1950 it made sense to do a wedding shower before a couple lived together and before they had a lot of shared household items.

I don't feel there should be a shower for an event that you get gifts for anyway. To me, it's like having a birthday shower.

Having said that, I didn't want one but when others have them I have no problem buying gifts for them and I don't judge those who have them. It is a personal choice and that was just my own personal preference when I got married.

Do you feel the same way for people who don't live together before getting married? Our wedding night was the first night DH and I slept through the entire night in the same bed...

DH and I didn't live together before we were married either and everything that we owned was hand me downs from our parents!

this.

Scout05 · April 2010

I think the whole "you can't have a second shower" thing is kind of silly, if I'm being honest. Who cares? If family and friends want to celebrate, go for it.

And I feel that way strongly for a second bridal shower. This is a new start, and a new life, and it should be celebrated.

But then I'm always one for a party. Especially if booze is being served. There's enough crappy crap in life. Any excuse to gather and have fun - count me in.

GBCK · April 2010

I'm not a big fan when it involves peeps who purchased gifts for shower #1...

but I know that's not a popular opinion.

emiliemadison · April 2010

2nd weddings are totally different than 2nd babies.

Baby showers are meant help new parents with things they'll need for a baby. With a 2nd baby shower, you are already a parent and in *most* circumstances, 2nd time parents already have all the things they would get from a shower.

Wedding showers are meant to give couples something start their new life together. With a 2nd wedding, unless the couple is re-marrying each other, it's a new start for both of them. Even if they've both been married before, they may have had to leave some or many of their old things when they left the first marriage. Or, they want new things that didnt start out as belonging to their new spouse and the ex.

And, FWIW, I think wedding showers are kind of stupid in general. Baby showers I get. Why would you have ANYTHING baby related before having a baby? But, in this day and age (with some exceptions of course) MOST people who are getting married dont go directly from living with mom and dad and owning nothing of their own to getting married. Most adults getting married have lived on their own for at least a while and are somewhat established. But hey, new things are cool, too.

bronc09 · April 2010

TheMrs923:
I really don't judge people on the shower thing because if someone wants to host a party to celebrate a happy moment in your life, no matter how many times it's already happened, then good for you!

Yes

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