So our kids are rapidly approaching the Terrible Two and most of us are initiating some type of discipline.
1) What is discipline worthy in your house?
2) How do you handle discipline?
3) Are you and SO/DH on the same page? If not, how so?
Please don't make this into a spanking debate.
Re: Discipline/Punishment
It used to be only hitting and messing with dangerous stuff (like stove knobs). Now it's starting to also include not listening, because he clearly understands what we're saying, but laughs or ignores us.
2) How do you handle discipline?
Generally I do time outs in the pack n' play for 1-2 minutes until he calms down. Occasionally I get frustrated enough, usually with hitting, that I might pop his hand, but then I feel terrible afterward and it isn't effective, while normally time outs are (unless he's sick like he was this past weekend).
3) Are you and SO/DH on the same page? If not, how so?
Eh, not really. DH seems to be warming up to the time out idea since I've been more consistent and the hitting has been better (again, not this weekend). I know he used to think the time outs were "what is wrong with kids today". I used to be more open to spanking, mostly in life/death/safety situations. With more experience, though, I fell like spanking is the easy route. It's easy to pop a bottom. It's hard and time consuming to do time out over and over, especially at this age where it takes longer to sink in. Plus time outs don't make me feel like a total a-hole and like crying like corporal punishment does.
For hitting, it's a firm NO and holding her arm to stop her. Then looking in her eyes to say "that hurts. We don't hit. Be gentle. "
We're on the same page. But I don't think we've been tested yet so we will see when it gets worse! I know we're on the same page about no spanking but I bet he'll yell more than me.
We also take things away if she throws them. Like people have said it's not just a lets toss this across the room it is a I want to hurt you.
She was big into hitting, pinching and biting (so hard she drew blood and I was bruised for a week) about a month or so back I ended up pinching her back one time. I felt terrible but she hasn't done any of those since...
Hitting, pushing, pinching, throwing fits. I hate this phase. He is so rough. Being mean to the pets, purposefully standing on his toys or otherwise being destructive, and not sharing are other fun things that get some kind of discipline.
2) How do you handle discipline?
It varies. I try to explain things to him. He will avoid eye contact when I try to talk to him though, and then I know I'm not getting through to him. I'll hold his hands and get him to look me in the eye, then if that doesn't work, we do "quiet time" in his crib when he starts escalating his fits, and I tell him to call for me when he is happy again. Maybe it's not the best terminology because I don't want him to think that it's not okay to feel frustrated, but it's just what comes out. I'm trying to be more conscious of it but it's hard when you are so frustrated yourself. Quiet time also happens when he is just whining and crying for no reason because he is overtired or about to throw a temper tantrum. We also make him hug the person/animal he may have hurt and say he's sorry. He's actually pretty good at that.
3) Are you and SO/DH on the same page? If not, how so?
Somewhat. He says no a lot more than me, as I try to reserve it for the more serious stuff. He is also more strict in some ways, like not letting him play with certain things, or do things "his" way if he is making a mess. I don't care much if he makes a mess, it's when he makes a mess on purpose (throwing food on the floor) that I intervene. But I'm more strict on some days too, like at bedtime when he is stalling or jumping in his bed. DH will let him play some more and then try again later to put him down but I don't have time for that because when he goes down my house work begins, so I just let him take that over.