I was in the same situation as yourself with our first. My sister-in-laws wedding date was booked and we found out a few months later that we were pregnant and due less than a week beforehand. We were honest up front about it and made the decision together about being in the wedding. My SIL and BIL are flexible and understood and we played it by ear right up until the wedding. All the bridesmaids got to choose their own dress in the same color, so I chose one that I could wear if I were 9 months pregnant or a new mom. I waited until close to last minute to order it, then got two sizes bigger than the size I fit on that date. We ended up having baby 2 weeks early and we all made it to the wedding (barley as our son was having trouble gaining weight and ended up back at the hospital so we missed the rehearsal). The seamstress that I know is great, and took me in last minute for alterations. It all worked out in the end. Oh ya, and did I mention the wedding was 4 hours away from home... baby's first road trip!!
So ya, my advice would be, be honest and make the decision together depending on how flexible and opened your siblings are. Go through lots of back-up plan ideas and different scenarios. Have someone lined up to watch baby at the wedding if they arrive beforehand. Don't stress to much about it and take things as they come. You can't plan baby's arrival and the chances are it won't be the exact same date as the wedding.
My sister found out she was finally pregnant (after a year of trying) within days of us setting our wedding date. She decided on her own not to stand up in the wedding because her EDD was so close. While I was bummed she wouldn't be standing up, I totally understood. I asked if she would still be willing to do a reading (and if she was in the hospital, someone else could easily take her place). My numbers were uneven for sides, but that didn't ruin anything. Nobody stood up "together."
Hmm. This is a little tricky because it's family. I was asked to be in a wedding a few months ago and agreed when I was not pregnant. The wedding is a few days after my due date and is in another state. I haven't told the bride yet, but I am planning to back out.
My one suggestion for you: do NOT make your mother choose between the birth of her grandchild and your brother's wedding. I don't know your relationship with your mother, but if this was me and my brother I would insist our mom be at the wedding. She could come to see you the very next day if that's what she wants, but I would be thinking about how this will play out for years down the road.
Hmm. This is a little tricky because it's family. I was asked to be in a wedding a few months ago and agreed when I was not pregnant. The wedding is a few days after my due date and is in another state. I haven't told the bride yet, but I am planning to back out.
My one suggestion for you: do NOT make your mother choose between the birth of her grandchild and your brother's wedding. I don't know your relationship with your mother, but if this was me and my brother I would insist our mom be at the wedding. She could come to see you the very next day if that's what she wants, but I would be thinking about how this will play out for years down the road.
Definitely agree with the last point. For me, the choice would be a no-brainer. The baby will still be there days later; the wedding will not.
I'm being featured in a new pregnancy/motherhood blog during the month of October, so if you ever wanted to know more about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experiences than anyone ever should, check out my posts in the link below!
I'm hopeful your family will understand if you decline. My SIL was in my wedding and 8.5 months pregnant. I gave her the choice and she was a trooper and stayed in the wedding! Had her baby 19 days later! I'm in a wedding mid-June and will be 6 months and am telling the bride thus weekend!. And my husband is in his cousin's wedding sept 27 however I am due oct 2 and we think that is cutting it close so won't be going. (Wedding is two hours OOT.)
I joked with them a couple of months ago that this is how it would work out so I think they might find it humorous. The bride is really cool about letting everyone pick their own dress so I would be able to pick something to go with a BIG belly. I think they will be very understanding if we cannot make it. I think they would only be upset if my water broke during the ceremony! ha ... I don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby. I have no clue how I am going to feel, but maybe it would be nice to get pampered? I will report back how they take the news after I tell them this weekend.
I am all for you being in the wedding...but try to remember that the bride has been thinking about this day her whole life and it is in fact HER day. When I was in a wedding at 9 months pregnant, DH was always at my side other than walking down the aisle and getting my hair and makeup done. I was HIS problem, not the bride's. He had water and a little folding chair at the rehearsal and during pictures on the day of the wedding. We went out of our way not to burden or take attention away from the bride.
This. Exactly.
I know this is an old thread, but I have really strong feelings about this topic.
@cwinning Honestly, I find it appalling that you would even say that you "don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby". Seriously? What if someone had felt that way About YOUR day. If you feel that way, you should decline being in the wedding regardless. And trying for six months isn't really "trying like hell" unless you've had fertility issues, as I've learned from the ladies on the TTGP board. My MOH was only 7 months pregnant at my wedding, but she made everything about her and her pregnancy throughout the planning and leading up to the wedding and I would've rather had her decline being in the wedding because it was awful. You possibly not being able to make it is one thing, but if you plan to attend and make it about you......please don't.
I am in a wedding October 1st, and due October 22nd! I am going to be as big as a house the bride was in my wedding 2 years ago and was pregnant, so I don't think she will mind! I will talk with her once I release the news.
This is probably way too late but my best friend was in my wedding at nine months pregnant. She was due a week after the wedding. She still wanted to be in the wedding so she got her dress two sizes bigger than normal and then went to the seamstress multiple times right before the wedding. She was very pregnant, but had a lot of fun and we had people on standby who weren't drinking that could drive her to the hospital if needed b/c her husband was in a wedding the same day 2 hours away. I let her make all the choices in regards to shoes and whether she wanted to stand during the wedding, hey its her body. She gave birth three days after my wedding. I never regretted for one moment having her there to celebrate with us.
I found out we were expecting yesterday, our due date based on date of my last period is 10/20...I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in a wedding on 10/26. Keeping my fingers crossed the first trimester goes well, I will tell her and most likely step down from her wedding. I am less concerned about the actual ceremony, but more concerned with the fact that it is going to be a very long day and would be difficult to do after giving birth.
If I can, I will attend at least the ceremony as a guest.
I would hope any friend or family would be understanding of the situation.
Re: bridesmaid when 9 months pregnant?!
I was in the same situation as yourself with our first. My sister-in-laws wedding date was booked and we found out a few months later that we were pregnant and due less than a week beforehand. We were honest up front about it and made the decision together about being in the wedding. My SIL and BIL are flexible and understood and we played it by ear right up until the wedding. All the bridesmaids got to choose their own dress in the same color, so I chose one that I could wear if I were 9 months pregnant or a new mom. I waited until close to last minute to order it, then got two sizes bigger than the size I fit on that date. We ended up having baby 2 weeks early and we all made it to the wedding (barley as our son was having trouble gaining weight and ended up back at the hospital so we missed the rehearsal). The seamstress that I know is great, and took me in last minute for alterations. It all worked out in the end. Oh ya, and did I mention the wedding was 4 hours away from home... baby's first road trip!!
So ya, my advice would be, be honest and make the decision together depending on how flexible and opened your siblings are. Go through lots of back-up plan ideas and different scenarios. Have someone lined up to watch baby at the wedding if they arrive beforehand. Don't stress to much about it and take things as they come. You can't plan baby's arrival and the chances are it won't be the exact same date as the wedding.
My one suggestion for you: do NOT make your mother choose between the birth of her grandchild and your brother's wedding. I don't know your relationship with your mother, but if this was me and my brother I would insist our mom be at the wedding. She could come to see you the very next day if that's what she wants, but I would be thinking about how this will play out for years down the road.
This. Exactly.
If I can, I will attend at least the ceremony as a guest.
I would hope any friend or family would be understanding of the situation.