November 2013 Moms

Doula?

Is anyone getting a doula?  I am really thinking about it however I just don't know if it would be worth it or not as its pretty expensive.  What are your gals thoughts?

Re: Doula?

  • We are getting one. Based on the reading I've done and friends I've talked to, if your goal is an unmedicated/intervention free hospital birth, they are 100 percent worth it. Some insurance plans will partially reimburse or let you use flex spending accounts.
    Mr. & Mrs. B, Est. 10.23.2009
    m/c: 9/06/12
    LTB: 10/23/13
    Baby B 2.0 EDD: 3/15/16

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  • TJHineTJHine member
    Absolutely! I think it's wonderful to have someone else that knows your wants and needs around...the hospital I am going to has a doula program, and it is only 100 extra to get a doula so for me it's perfect!
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  • I'm not getting one.

    If money was no object and I had time to get to know and click with a doula before the birth, then I would love to have one. I would not want a doula who just showed up when labor started, I'd need to get to know her first.


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  • I think they are an absolutely amazing option. I have heard a lot of great things. I personally will not be having one just because of the cost factor.
  • imageMsCrispy:

    I'm not getting one.

    If money was no object and I had time to get to know and click with a doula before the birth, then I would love to have one. I would not want a doula who just showed up when labor started, I'd need to get to know her first.

    Every doula I've talked to has included at least one pre-labor meeting in their fee; several of them included 2-3 meetings and even a massage or other services.

    We are still on the fence about paying for one but I am definitely leaning toward it. I don't really have much confidence in my husband's ability to be labor support given that he's never done it before. 

    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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  • We're getting a doula because I'm prepping for an interventionfree birth and because I think my husband will be a better support to me with a doula present. Also, when I heard that doulas massage you and help relax you during the birthing process, I was sold!
  • If cost is a concern, you might see if there's a volunteer doula program in your city.  There's one here, and according to my midwives, you can either make arrangements with a specific doula ahead of time (on a sliding fee scale) or ask for an on-call doula to show up when you go into labor.

    Iris born Halloween 2013! 6 lbs, 1 oz, 18 inches long

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  • I'm looking into it. I want to make sure DH is comfortable with it. I have him reading some passages of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and he's really getting on board with the fact that I may choose to go unmediated.

    Until recently he had looked at me like I was insane for suggesting such a thing.

    We also don't want our families there so it would be nice for me to have a support person there.

    They run 200 to 500 here with 2 or 3 prenatal visits. My mental cap for this service is 400, so 200 sounds like a bargain and 500 sounds pricey.


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  • imageKfran84:
    I'm looking into it. I want to make sure DH is comfortable with it. I have him reading some passages of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and he's really getting on board with the fact that I may choose to go unmediated.

    Until recently he had looked at me like I was insane for suggesting such a thing.

    We also don't want our families there so it would be nice for me to have a support person there.

    They run 200 to 500 here with 2 or 3 prenatal visits. My mental cap for this service is 400, so 200 sounds like a bargain and 500 sounds pricey.


    Woah! The average around here is 1000, 500 sounds like a bargain to me. Dam HCOL area...
    Mr. & Mrs. B, Est. 10.23.2009
    m/c: 9/06/12
    LTB: 10/23/13
    Baby B 2.0 EDD: 3/15/16

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  • QstonQston member
    I'm hoping to get one. It's one of the many things on my August to do list. Originally I just wanted the doula there as support for DH. He doesn't do well with medical settings, and figured a support person for him to help him be stronger for me, but the more research I did, and in deciding to try for as natural as possible, it seemed like a doula could be great for all of us!

    In my area they run from about 400 to 1000 and I'm trying to justify coming up with 500 for one. It does sound expensive, but I think the benefit they will provide makes it more than worthwhile. Also, neither DH or I are good at asking a lot of questions, just sort of take the word of whoever is in charge, so one more person on our team seems like a good choice for us. It's probably got a lot to do with your personality, and what you are comfortable with. Good luck!
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  • imageSing2phins:
    imageDebateThis:
    imageMsCrispy:

    I'm not getting one.

    If money was no object and I had time to get to know and click with a doula before the birth, then I would love to have one. I would not want a doula who just showed up when labor started, I'd need to get to know her first.

    Every doula I've talked to has included at least one pre-labor meeting in their fee; several of them included 2-3 meetings and even a massage or other services.

    We are still on the fence about paying for one but I am definitely leaning toward it. I don't really have much confidence in my husband's ability to be labor support given that he's never done it before. 

    This makes me sad.  Do you have confidence in your ability to give birth even though you've never done it before?  I'm not sure how this is different.

    In my experience, people rise to the expectations you set for them.

    I don't know what's "sad" about acknowledging his lack of experience with childbirth - I have been in the room for births multiple times and know that having good labor support from experienced people can be a huge difference in how women perceive their births, often for years afterward. I also find it incredibly unrealistic to simply "set expectations" for him to be my only emotional/physical support for what will also be an emotional/physical event for him, especially when he's never so much as been in the same room as a newborn. He, like many men, has zero idea HOW to be supportive of a woman in labor. A doula will be there to assist him and give him the tools he can use to help me. That's the entire point.

     


    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
    image
  • imageSing2phins:
    imageDebateThis:
    imageMsCrispy:

    I'm not getting one.

    If money was no object and I had time to get to know and click with a doula before the birth, then I would love to have one. I would not want a doula who just showed up when labor started, I'd need to get to know her first.

    Every doula I've talked to has included at least one pre-labor meeting in their fee; several of them included 2-3 meetings and even a massage or other services.

    We are still on the fence about paying for one but I am definitely leaning toward it. I don't really have much confidence in my husband's ability to be labor support given that he's never done it before. 

    This makes me sad.  Do you have confidence in your ability to give birth even though you've never done it before?  I'm not sure how this is different.

    In my experience, people rise to the expectations you set for them.



    I don't see what's wrong with this statement. Men aren't always natural caretakers and are so anxious about having a baby themselves AND seeing their wife in pain for them to "rise above high expectations" to be a good labor coach.

    I had the same doubt about my husband's ability to handle my unmedicated labor for good reason. One, his care taking skills when I'm sick involve putting me to bed. He relies on me telling him exactly how I'd like to be taken care of, and during labor, you can't focus enough on verbalizing what comfort you need. Two, he can't skip sleep or he gets physically sick. Yes i wish he wasnt like this, but thats the case. I had a 48 hour labor so he slept while our doula assisted me.

    I'm VERY glad we hired a doula, who cost us nearly 750 dollars, and I didn't place unrealistic expectations on my husband's ability to be my labor coach. My doula stayed with me the whole time, over 50 hours at home and the hospital, and made me comfortable, suggested positions for natural pain relief, massaged me, and kept me calm by reassuring me that what I was going through was natural.

    But I also hired a wedding planner so I'm obviously biased toward trusting the experts when I'm a newbie at something!
  • I think they are a great idea, but I will not be getting one. Here the cost is about 1000. Also, I am planning in having an epidural, so there's that. If I was hoping to go natural I would totally find the money somehow.

  • We hired one for $650 (I'm in the Detroit area) and she does 2-3 pre-natal visits, unlimited phone calls, and stays for a few hours post-birth if we wish. She also does a post-partum visit. I think it's going to be a great support for me and someone who has "been there" (besides my Mom who will likely be driving me nuts...)

    Also we're doing hypnobirthing classes and she's trained in that model, so she can coach me in the moment. I'm feeling very reassured knowing she will be there!

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