Stay at Home Moms
sbevmc09
member
How do you get your kids to help clean up?
sbevmc09
member
DS is 3 and I'm thinking it's time he take a more active role in cleaning up toys. Basically, right now he helps when he feels like it, which isn't often. We usually do the cleaning up because frankly we're lazy about it and it's faster if we do, but I know it's a bad habit and DS needs to learn to do it, or at least help.
Is 3 a good/realistic age to make it routine for him to help with clean up every time? How do we do it? We typically do a big clean up at the end of the day after he goes to bed. Should we start making it part of his bedtime routine to clean up? How do we motivate him? Thoughts on the topic?
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Re: How do you get your kids to help clean up?
We started at 1.5 with both kids, even with my youngest who is pretty delayed. The clean up song works well. It goes:
clean up clean up
everybody, everywhere
clean up, clean up
everybody do your share
there is a million variations on the song too.
other ideas-make it fun. Help out and race your kids. Offer incentives, like a sticker for a sticker chart and when they earn x amount of stickers they get a new toy.
Ugh... I think this is going to be a struggle. He's not easily motivated by "games". He typically helps when things get out of control (like something with a lot of pieces) and we try to get him to help and it's like pulling teeth. One time he decided he would rather sit inside and pout for like an hour rather than cleaning up a few blocks so he could go outside. He's very stubborn sometimes. I guess we'll just have to keep at it like with anything else!
I think I'm most worried about trying to incorporate it leading up to bedtime. I feel like it's going to turn into a struggle that causes bedtime drama. I guess we could do it a little earlier, but I feel like there probably needs to be a deadline there. Like, if you clean up nicely before bedtime he could have a sticker or something. If he doesn't do it then he has to go straight to bed without any stories? I already know how this will turn out for a while...
ETA: So, for example, let's say at 7.30pm I set a timer for 10 mins and said he needed to clean up during that time (with our help). What if he just blew it off and he didn't do it? What would you do in that situation? Time out and try again? Straight to bed?
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He likes to help me with chores, but he doesn't have any specifically assigned to him or anything. Like, we make the beds together, he helps switch over laundry, he likes to help cook, he'll hold the dustpan while I sweep, etc. But basically it has to be something he's interested in
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DS1 is much better at helping now that he's five - we don't have to actively clean with him to get him to do it. That being said, cleaning as a part of bedtime routine has always worked for us. And he might just help for some of it, but meh, he's three.
When you clean, you can ask him specifically what toy he's going to pick up (after you tell him what you're going to pick up), or you can pick something up, and then see if he can find the same one, something that's the same color, etc. Make it playful!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
We totally should have started this process earlier. It was like I always intended to do it, but kept putting it off because it IS easier just to do it ourselves. It's not necessarily beneficial to the big picture, but it's something we've been lazy about.
I'll definitely start sooner with DD!
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This summer I went through her toys and sorted through the babyish ones to be put away. I then bought the plastic shoebox containers from Target (see through with lids) and put all of the toys into separate ones. (Sesame Street figures in one, blocks in another, etc). They are all in easy access for her, however because of the lids she has to ask me to open it. I then started to institute one or two bins out at time. She has to clean up the previous one before I open the next.
In the last few weeks since i made her toys more manageable and things like that-it really helped with her cleaning up.
what about a visual chart going through the bedtime process? Add the clean up part in it. Offer a sticker for success.
I don't think so. I know I like doing the dishes more when I have a new dish brush or something. Anything to take the monotony out of repetitive tasks.
The game thing and the song thing both do not work for us if they don't want to do the clean up to begin with.
if they won't help, I set a timer for five ish minutes on the stove. I tell them whatever is not cleaned up by the time the timer goes off gets taken away. (Not thrown away, just put away for a day in the garage or basement)
and the key: follow through.
they are 3 and four. They HATE losing their stuff, so this usually works
I wish we could do this. All of our kids have the same interests. DS1 is excellent at cleaning, he does a wonderful job and rarely ever complains about it (and he prefers to keep his room clean). His brothers are terrible about cleaning, so DS1 would either get stuck with cleaning up their mess or his toys essentially get taken away because they don't clean.
I will say, TO has been working more lately. I used to just leave them in TO until I thought it was enough time. Lately I've given them the control, they can come out of TO when they're ready to ________ (clean up for example).
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!
I'm not sure what I have to offer will be truly helpful to anyone as I have a much older child than most but since Have asked about "when" it should be expected vs a game to entice them into helping I thought I'd chime in. For me, the expectation wasn't until closer to age 4yrs.
I tried the songs and making cleaning up a game and it was more of a struggle for me than it was worth. So, around 3yrs, I started making it a requirement before we would do the next thing, like have lunch or go to the park or whatnot. We wouldn't go/do until she cleaned up the puzzle or put the dolls back in the toybox. I wouldn't make her clean up an entire room, just the last thing she was playing with.
When Emily turned 4yrs, she truly understood that her toys were hers, belonged in her room, and WOULD be taken away if she didn't put them away. We still helped as she could destroy her room in minutes; however, we made it clear that if she didn't help at all or didn't clean up certain things out of defiance, she would lose those toys for a couple of days. I would literally go through her room with a laundry basket, gathering up the toys she didn't clean up and take them down to the garage as punishment.
Once she turned 5yrs and got into Kindergarten and helping keep her desk tidy was a daily requirement, part of her daily routine, the troubles of getting her to clean up at home (toys, putting clothes in hamper, wiping up spills, etc.) were virtually non-existent. Every once in a while she will whine and drag her feet and I remind her that if she doesn't clean up and I have to do it, it will cost her $0.50 out of her piggy bank (a new tactic that works VERY well at age 7yr) or I'll take the toys away for a week. Both of these punishments/incentives work well at this age.
Anyhow, of course it all depends on your ability to follow-through and be consistent as well as your child's personality as many can do more at a younger age. Good luck!
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11