How do you feel about your birthday?

babydreams13 · July 2013

So today is my birthday. I feel like in the IF world its bitter sweet. I'm trying to be in a good mood and happy but getting older and not having a baby is hard. Trying to focus on the positive that we will be doing IVF late August into September and that will up our chances but its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyone else have difficulty dealing with their birthday?

PPoppy2010 · July 2013

I just had one.. and they kinda suck... not because I cant celebrate my life.. my friends.. my family... but because it makes you realize that you are another year older... and still not where you want to be... realizing that you have goals.. and you have yet to achieve them.. is frustrating...

Hope you have a Happy Birthday... and this will be the last one with out a new baby! ~

shelbeans82 · July 2013

Happy Birthday! I hope you are able to enjoy/celebrate!

For me its the Holiday's. Another Christmas without being a step closer will be more difficult for me than my birthday will.

GermanGirl2007 · July 2013

I love my birthday (although sadly, I haven't been able to do much in terms of celebrating the last couple of years). I think that I used to spend my birthdays reflecting on what I hadn't yet accomplished, but now, in my 30's, I am spending a lot more time reflecting on what I have. I think it also helps that I really don't give too much thought to age in terms of years - I'm a youthful person, which is just my personality so the only difference in how I "feel" now in comparison to how I felt 10 years ago is that I am just a lot more secure with who I am. Occasionally I think "man, I wish I would have been able to have kids younger", but then I think, "I've had a dammn good time the last few years being able to do my own thing" and I don't want to wish that away.

Sorry that you are struggling, but I really hope you can find a silver lining. And also, Happy Birthday!

Twinkie0612 · July 2013

I turned 30 last year and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We were in a good place IF wise, waiting to see RE #1. If I'm not pregnant by my next birthday (December), it might be a little harder since it would mean at least 1 (maybe 2) failed IVF.

ETA: I forgot to say, Happy Birthday!

babydreams13 · July 2013

Thanks ladies. Going to a baby shower yesterday wasn't really helpful. Guess its just hard bc I stopped BC right after I turned 30 and now I'm 32. Our 2 year mark of TTC is coming but we will be doing our first and hopefully only IVF. Thanks for listening. I'm really trying to stay positive today.

Allison7 · July 2013

babydreams13:
Thanks ladies. Going to a baby shower yesterday wasn't really helpful. Guess its just hard bc I stopped BC right after I turned 30 and now I'm 32. Our 2 year mark of TTC is coming but we will be doing our first and hopefully only IVF. Thanks for listening. I'm really trying to stay positive today.

I hear you. My next birthday is the dreaded 35. My RE says that is isn't like I am going to wake up and magically have bad ovaries (of course I know this) but then she tells me that she does hope that I get pregnant before 35 because after that we will need to get "more aggressive". I am not sure how that is suppose to help me relax!

I say, celebrate the day. Use your birthday as an excuse to do some really selfish papering that you wouldn't normally do! Enjoy it!

Happy Birthday!

RubiksElf · July 2013

First, happy birthday! I hope you are finding some fun today!

I definitely know what you are talking about with birthdays being bitter sweet. I do tend to evaluate a lot on my birthday and last year was really challenging. My birthday is in about 2 weeks, and my solution is just to stay really busy. A fun-filled, super busy day planned... And then I can reevaluate everything when I wake up the next day (or maybe not... who knows).

ETA: Fixed typos - stupid autocorrect!

STBMrsMiller · July 2013

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a nice day.

I normally will have a dinner with my parents and brother, and most of these family occasions are becoming bittersweet. We have chosen not to share our TTTC with my parents, so they are still hinting, and it makes me think of how the occasion will be different when there are kids in the family.

RunCC37 · July 2013

Oh, yeah ::points finger at self:: this girl right here. I didn't feel happy AT ALL for my birthday this year because I had envisioned at least being pregnant at that time. It sucked!! But since then, I've accepted the fact that the timeline is absolutely out of my control. I'm trying really hard to not allow IF to ruin anymore special days... it is hard. But I'm going to do my best. IF already takes so much. I refuse to let it take the joy out of my birthday next year. FUIF!!!

katib77 · July 2013

In our four years ttc no birthday was hard until the last one. Turning 35 and now being labeled AMA hurt. A lot.

herecomesthesun · July 2013

I just turned 35. Eh. I think leading up to it, I felt hesitant and torn (as if that would change anything). Now it just is. I'm "old" in my doc's eyes. Whatevs.

babydreams13 · July 2013

Thanks ladies for all the bday wishes and advice. I'm glad my bday is almost over. It went fine. No tears shed today. Glad I'm not the only one who feels not so hot about my bday. I guess its just another day and hopefully by my next bday I will have a baby or at least be pregnant.

nyrunningqueen · July 2013

I am not looking forward to my birthday next month or to turning 34. Yes, the not having a baby issue makes it worse too. Since our IUI was cancelled earlier this cycle, I've been a little more down than usual. DH and I had a very big discussion about IF yesterday and I have been losing all hope and feeling like giving up and because he's adopted he wants to keep trying for as long as possible because he wants to know that something will come after him because he doesn't know where he came from. It really put things into perspective for me. So, I think we are going to max out all 6 cycles of IUI that our insurance will cover and then move onto IVF, but I'm already thinking ahead 7 months to IVF. I know it's really hard to stay focused, but we will all get there. I've been trying to look at all the positive aspects right now (i.e. using IF as my motivation to keep running, using it as my imaginary target during Body Combat class, and that we have a little more time to find the perfect house). I know this is hard, but I have to believe that we wouldn't be given this path to follow if we couldn't handle it. Every life obstacle I have had to deal with has made me stronger and I know that DH and I are going through this journey to make our marriage stronger. Our children will be so loved and appreciated when we have them. Sorry for my verbal diarrhea today. Hugs to you!!

BettyBoop86 · July 2013

I am not looking forward to my brithday next month at all. It makes me feel that the goal of having a family is slipping further and further from me. All I want is a child, and I feel like it may not happen. I know we have not been trying very long, but we are in the middle of our second IUI cycle. I do not want to take a break, but I fear we will have to since DH got laid off 7 weeks ago. I feel like all we have done is for nothing.

Birthdays suck.

How do you feel about your birthday?

Re: How do you feel about your birthday?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards