Confessions of an early announcer

gisa886 · July 2013

Hello,

My name is Gisa and I'm an early announcer.

I announced as soon as I found out with all three of my pregnancies and every time I see someone side-eye another person for announcing early I get pissed. I am comfortable announcing before 12 weeks and it doesn't make me shitttty or irresponsible. I'm not setting myself up for something bad to happen. There is no shame in announcing early. That may be a UO.

PerkyErky · July 2013

Completely agree. People should announce when they want to announce. Telling or not telling doesn't change the outcome of a pregnancy and things can still go wrong even announcing after 12 weeks. Congratulations and announce away! I am 7 weeks and most everyone knows, mostly because I need the support for my PgAL brain and anxiety.

4babySlages · July 2013

Yes I know what you mean, we've always announced our new babies as soon as we found out. If you lose a baby it's hard either way! And just because you wait til your 13 weeks doesn't mean something couldn't happen after that! Of course everyone can do what they want, but I'm always way too excited to keep it to myself! People would just think I was crazy for smiling so much lol

hisbeautyalways · July 2013

Last time around, I called my mom the day I got a positive test. I thought I was farther along (based on LMP), and mentioned maybe telling people on Easter... well, she called half the family to tell them before easter. Turns out I was WAY earlier, and you know, she announced my news anyway. This time I'm keeping the news in and secret until I'm ready to tell the world, but only because of my own experience. I have no problem with others telling people right away! It's really exciting and hard not to talk about it.

marisha1021 · July 2013

I announced early to family and close friends. I don't announce on open social media. Everyone has their own comfort level... also, ability to keep their mouth shut!

keightlynn · July 2013

I announced to my close family at 2w6d I found out at 9dpo. I will announce to everyone else after I tell my husbands family at a get together next month at 7w. I want to tell in person and they all live out if state other wise I would have announced it publicly the day I got my positive as well. I feel the same about the side eye. I am comfortable with the possible repercussions of telling so early. It bothers me people just can't accept that.

jwls84 · July 2013

I told my best friends tonight! I could've hid it, but they are my people, I want them to know.
I understand why people wait, I did with my first, but I don't think there is a right or a wrong time to announce. It should be based on your comfort level.

karacakes98 · July 2013

My H tells the whole world the second he finds out, so there are no late late announcements in this family. I don't really tell people unless it happens to come up. It just feels weird to me to say, "Hey, guess what! I'm pregnant!"

avigailandcharlie · July 2013

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with telling early. I think the reason people don't is that there is such a high risk of things turning south, and if you have to go through that, it's very personal and everyone handles it differently. I blogged about my miscarriage after I was ready to discuss it. I don't think there's any stigma with hiding a miscarriage! BUT, if I had announced my pregnancy early, I would have had to announce my miscarriage as I was going through it, and all I wanted to do was grieve with my husband and that's it. I am super close to my mom and I wouldn't even talk to her. So I think the reason it's smart to wait is just to give you some "cushion" if the worst were to happen.

gisa886 · July 2013

I know why some people don't announce and I totally get and respect that. It is just that many people don't give the same respect to those who announce early.

BoogieMonster629 · July 2013

I never understood the side-eye either, people go through things differently and announcing early has no bearing on the outcome of your pregnancy. Anyway, I've already told my DD's BMB and we told our friends last night at dinner. We will probably be telling our parents this week

ufsandra85 · July 2013

I announce early and I have had 8 miscarriages. I am all for announcing early. Announcing i am having a miscarriage isnt a huge deal either. I figure every baby i have should be celebrated not just the ones that make it. I wouldnt keep it a secret if a child died, I am not going to keep a baby dying in utero a secret either. To each their own. NO ONE should be ashamed if they have a miscarriage and I hate when people make others think it is a secret thing they should deal with privately.

wizamuggle · July 2013

I am a private person by nature so announcing early doesn't even occur to me but I don't care if others do it. I really don't like attention, no matter how well-intentioned. Having had a prior loss I felt uncomfortable when co-workers I wasn't close to had to know because I was out for several days after surgery so I knew from my own experience I didn't want to announce early with any subsequent pregnancies. I almost felt bad for the male co-workers who were trying to express concern but didn't know what to say, lol.

I do understand the concern some people express to FTMs...just more as a, think it through before you do it, are you sure you will be able to handle "un-telling" everyone if you do have a loss? If you think it will be devastating and you don't want people coming up to you months later asking about your pregnancy because they missed the memo that you had a loss, then maybe wait to tell. If you're comfortable with that, then by all means tell whoever you want! Everyone has different comfort levels.

I don't personally think it's being ashamed about having a loss, it's knowing one's own ability to cope with grief. Some people take it much harder than others. Others are fine being open and honest about everything.

SamJustice · July 2013

I don't have any problems with people who announce early. I personally won't do it ever again after I miscarried three days after announcing my first pregnancy.

thatsmybaby · July 2013

SamJustice:
I don't have any problems with people who announce early. I personally won't do it ever again after I miscarried three days after announcing my first pregnancy.nbsp;

This.

iErica · July 2013

::sits on the early couch::

I, too, announce early. I've told everyone already. And, I've had a 10 week miscarriage before ::shrugs:: I like to tell the world I'm pregnant

goldphool · August 2013

I think a lot of it had to do with cultures. We told our immediate families but aren't telling anyone else till 12 weeks. I'm Pakistani and my husband is Bosnian and both are non announcing cultures. I have cousins that seemingly came from nowhere because no one told us they were pregnant.

mamamia866 · August 2013

I know some people say its bad luck, but for me it's about having to tell those people that we miscarried rather than the risk of miscarriage alone. To me, it makes it that much more painful when everyone knows that we miscarried.

bumpuser1282882 · August 2013

avigailandcharlie said:

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with telling early. I think the reason people don't is that there is such a high risk of things turning south, and if you have to go through that, it's very personal and everyone handles it differently. I blogged about my miscarriage after I was ready to discuss it. I don't think there's any stigma with hiding a miscarriage! BUT, if I had announced my pregnancy early, I would have had to announce my miscarriage as I was going through it, and all I wanted to do was grieve with my husband and that's it. I am super close to my mom and I wouldn't even talk to her. So I think the reason it's smart to wait is just to give you some "cushion" if the worst were to happen.

This. I had such a hard time processing my mc myself and didn't feel like talking to anyone about it for quite some time, and I am typically a very open person. I wasn't able to tell some people for months.

ClaireBear90 · August 2013

No, of course it isn't irresponsible to announce "early"! But, as others have said, I think most women who choose to wait do so not because they're Debbie Downers but because they've experienced m/c before or because they think they would handle one better if they didn't have to tell everyone about it.

I'm waiting until 13 weeks, primarily because my first appointment isn't until this coming Thursday and there's no way I want to tell everyone before I've even seen the midwife. A lot of people have probably already guessed because of my belly (call it whatever you want, but I do LOOK pregnant, haha) but I won't announce until I feel comfortable doing so.

ETA: And no one is "setting themselves up" for something bad to happen or jinxing themselves or asking for trouble by announcing early. Each woman just has to weigh her personal feelings on the matter.

maygun · August 2013

I told my family and close friends within a week of finding out but I'm avoiding announcing to the world because I won't have my first appointment with the midwife until 12 weeks and if anything happens I don't want to share with the world before I'm ready after having watched a good friend have to do that three times already. My husband is bursting at the seams though and told a close friend of his who has a big mouth- so half the town probably knows already.

klutz2005 · August 2013

bandteacher said:

keightlynn:
I announced to my close family at 2w6d I found out at 9dpo. I will announce to everyone else after I tell my husbands family at a get together next month at 7w. I want to tell in person and they all live out if state other wise I would have announced it publicly the day I got my positive as well. I feel the same about the side eye. I am comfortable with the possible repercussions of telling so early. It bothers me people just can't accept that.

9dpo is 3w2d.

AFM, we're telling our parents and best friends this week and going public after our 10w ultrasound since we saw the heartbeats last week.

Assuming the average cycle of 28 days.

CynRO12 · August 2013

We were early announcers too. I had my first 8 yrs ago and the fam assumed we were done. (As did we)
When we found out, we couldn't hold it in!! I also enjoy my vino too so people would know something's up.
My DH told everyone, and I was fine with it; seeing him so happy and proud warmed my heart :x

erinsullivan427 · August 2013

I told close friends and family early. I think about it like this, who would I want to tell IF something happened. My sister announced early and lost her baby at 10.5 weeks. She regretted that some people knew because to keep telling those more random people what happened became very difficult. Everyone should announce when they are ready. It's wonderful news!

MarisaPW · August 2013

I assumed I wasn't as far along as the little calculator suggested. I went for my first ultrasound Thursday and I was 7w1d and not 8w1d. Although we heard the heart beat, when I got back to school that day a coworker asked if I told everyone. My team and a few other people know. I would hate for 100+ people at my scho

MarisaPW · August 2013

School to find out right now and get bombarded with questions everytime I left my classroom. Sorry my stupid phone posted early. But I was so annoyed that someone else was deciding when I should tell people. It's a personal choice and those negative looks and stares should shove it. Happy weekend!

VineyardMel · August 2013

I'm part of a loss community and the reactions I see that are perceived as the side-eye are purely part of the pain. It's an ache for the ability to be so confident and the reminder of how awful it is to have to invite the world into your pain. I'm not saying it's OK, just a different perspective. Of course announcing has no affect on the outcome, but even if you announce the loss, some people miss it and its horrible to have them still think you're pregnant and ask how you're doing. We had our loss at 9wks and had told a handful of friends. It would have been unbearable for me if we'd announced on social media. I think the side eye reaction isn't judgement, it's a desire to protect someone else from the pain.

Christal161 · August 2013

Sure in our family it's a jinx to tell early but hey, I'm 20 and needed to tell my mother as soon as possible... As soon as she knew, well gossip!!! So it's not my fault-ish that everyone knew lol. I told my friends 2 weeks later.

But if I was older and it was planned, I would of told everyone still lol

corbsmom · August 2013

I completely agree! I hate when people say things like, "I'm going to wait to announce at 12 weeks when it's safe." Well, you know what? No time is truly safe. Yes, it is statistically "safer" at that point, but there are no guarantees. I lost my first son at 20 weeks and losses can happen at any point in pregnancy. By that logic, we should wait until we actually give birth to tell anyone.

Also, even if I were to have a first trimester loss, I would not regret announcing early. It would just mean I have more support to help me get through a difficult time. I think the whole "waiting til 12 weeks" rule is not helpful at all toward making miscarriage less of a taboo topic in society.

KariB509 · August 2013

Completely agree. I also announced to close friends and family the day I got a bfp and shortly after. Haven't put in on Facebook yet but everyone I want to know already knows anyway. Don't see what the big deal is about when you announce. Announce when you're comfortable announcing--"early" or after the first tri. I certainly don't think the timing of the announcement jinxes anything.

my1stbabyat23 · August 2013

This is my first and I did it early too ! I just couldn't keep it to my self and I'm only 10wks. We have to be positive

rachbaby1 · August 2013

My SIL had a miscarriage last year (she was pg again 3 months later and they now have the healthiest, happiest little baby boy!) She had announced early, and it was just heartbreaking. None of us knew what we should say or do for her, and I know the only person she wanted was her DH. We have been influenced by that experience and have only told very close friends and family. Otherwise, I might have announced the first day!

There are no wrong answers-this is your baby and I think you should announce the second you want to!

BrideNamedMeg · August 2013

We are early announcers as well, at least to family and friends. I won't tell Facebook until later on, but that's mostly because I'm friends with a lot of clients so I keep my page pretty boring, haha.

I personally know 5 people who have had late term losses (30+ weeks). In my mind, there's no "safe" time to tell because you just never know what will happen.

BrideNamedMeg · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

**bangs head on coffee table**

Where does this post come from, I'm so lost *sobs*

Looks like it started in July...

aguy2011 · August 2013

Personal preference and situational. I told work at 8 weeks since I am out of it and not as quick as normal. Plus my bosses wife is PG so he wAs already suspicious with me lol, hard to hide. And my dad died June 28, so my family really needed some good news:).

MamaWino · August 2013

We're early announcers, too. With DD we told our parents, siblings and close friends before 6 weeks and announced on facebook at 11 weeks. This time we told just about everyone (although we're not out on facebook yet) pretty much right away. I'm so miserable and got tired of making up excuses for why I look like shit and am so moody all the time.

mandysueee · December 2013

I just found out I am 5 weeks, first pregnancy. I announced, and now due to the negativity all of the internet I am afraid I shouldn't have

babylimas · December 2013

Yay! Zombie threads!

SomersIsles · December 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

BrideNamedMeg said:

FarmBoysWife said:

**bangs head on coffee table**

Where does this post come from, I'm so lost *sobs*

Looks like it started in July...

wow, I never noticed that while I was Mobil bumping at work.. thanks.. my life has meaning again.