i know I should talk with DH about this, but I'm so tired I want to make sure I really mean what I'll be saying and I need as many input as possible. I'm curious how you all balance household chores and taking care of your baby. Since I've been on maternity leave, I do almost everything.. I feel bad for DH who has to work, but is it normal or expected that I do as much as I do? I'm getting pretty good at juggling my two babies and everything else, but am I justified to be really proud of myself to BF, entertain my 21 month old while making sure lunch is on the table when DH comes home from work? Sadly, I don't think he understands how hard it is to stay home.
Any advice is welcome! Thank you!
Re: How to be a stay-at-home mom?
He sleeps all night and doesn't get home till 6 or so everyday so he's with LO about 2 hours. He has no idea how stressful and busy my days are.
We have discussed this several times in the last few weeks so I researched cleaning services and plan to give him the pricing this weekend. That's gonna be a fun conversation but something has to give
No, your husband is being unfair. Just because he puts in 8-9 hours at the office, that doesn't mean you have to put in 16 at home.
Now, I do think if you didn't have a newborn, it would be nice to do more of the household chores since you are already home and it is easier for you, but all that goes out the window when you have a newborn. Right now you are just surviving.
ETA, that being said, my DH just expects me to take care of the kids. Everything else is extra.
My H knows how much work goes into caring for a newborn. So he doesn't expect anything when he comes home. He usually gets himself situated and then come gets LO to give me a break. He's been home all day with her and knows it's a job in itself.
Sadly, most men do not understand what is like to stay at home. I have an 8 yr old and a almost 2 wk old. I was a stay at home with our 8 year old until he started Kindergarten and will probably do the same with this little one. They way we handled housework was I did the inside stuff and he did all the outside stuff (we have 10 acres to take care of). So he cuts the grass, weedwacks, takes trash out... and I do the inside stuff. Once I was working part time, the rule was whoever was home first, had to start dinner and the other one did the dishes. But now that our first sonis 8, he can help a lot around the house so it really helps. I also started "Mommy Day" where almost every week, I get one day by myself to do what I want. That isn't going to happen for a little with the baby, but my DH will still take our older son somewhere so I can have a bit of a break.
My advice is for you to analyze what you do and what you would like help with and calmly ask for some help. Maybe have him do the dishes so you can sit after dinner. But just explain how you understand he is tired from work but that you need a little break too so you don't get worn out.
Good luck.
ALL OF THIS> Seriously.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Yeah this. When I had a newborn and about to again, the general rule is "Whatever happens, happens."
If the house is a disaster and he got a frozen pizza for supper, he either a) pitches in or b) knows better than to b*tch.
Also be careful of your own expectations. There was a time I placed so much on myself because it's what I thought had to do/could do and H expected. Turns he couldn't have cared less about the most of it.
Now that my kid is 2 and I feel great pregnant, I do more/expect more because I can. I'm not struggling right now. The time will come again where I'll be overwhelmed and I'll let a lot go again.
Hang in there.
And don't be afraid to ask for outside help. I've had my teen neighbor girls come over and mop floors, clean bathrooms and vacuum for cash. My MIL loves to be helpful so I take advantage of it when I need to.
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