2nd Trimester
No sex
Venting txt:
So we're 18 weeks along. No sex, not since my husband found out we were expecting at 3 weeks. He says he's just not turned on and is creeped out that we'd be having sex when the baby is present.
The thing is..... We hardly ever had sex before. With our first child, we had sex up to the 7th month.
So I'm not asking for advice of why he's not interested I've asked before and husband says he's just not interested could be a number of reasons stress, just not interested bc of bis or my weight gain, etc. I really don't know and he's not wanting to talk.
Sex is wonderful and needed for a marriage. We dont have sex. I feel very rejected. He doesn't show me in other ways that he's even interested in me as a person either. So much for marrying my best friend. It's been quite lonely to say the least.
But I'm asking, how am I suppose to feel confident about our relationship with baby 2 on the way when I don't feel sexy, pretty, wanted, or respected by him? When we do talk, his concerns are not with me, but on his job/himself. I feel very alone with this pregnancy and I talk to him but nothing changes.
Sorry I needed to vent. I feel so alone and don't know who to talk to about this...... I'm so embarrassed.
So we're 18 weeks along. No sex, not since my husband found out we were expecting at 3 weeks. He says he's just not turned on and is creeped out that we'd be having sex when the baby is present.
The thing is..... We hardly ever had sex before. With our first child, we had sex up to the 7th month.
So I'm not asking for advice of why he's not interested I've asked before and husband says he's just not interested could be a number of reasons stress, just not interested bc of bis or my weight gain, etc. I really don't know and he's not wanting to talk.
Sex is wonderful and needed for a marriage. We dont have sex. I feel very rejected. He doesn't show me in other ways that he's even interested in me as a person either. So much for marrying my best friend. It's been quite lonely to say the least.
But I'm asking, how am I suppose to feel confident about our relationship with baby 2 on the way when I don't feel sexy, pretty, wanted, or respected by him? When we do talk, his concerns are not with me, but on his job/himself. I feel very alone with this pregnancy and I talk to him but nothing changes.
Sorry I needed to vent. I feel so alone and don't know who to talk to about this...... I'm so embarrassed.
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Re: No sex
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
agreed. This sounds like it's deeper than just sex, & likely some issues that would be better worked out in counseling. Being a therapist myself it sounds it could be really helpful for the two of you at this point. So sorry you're going through that! I would not let this lie though, talk to him, or get some help, but it doesn't sound like it's going to change on its own. GL hun!
Part is all the communication stuff that pp have mentioned.
But whether or not DH is interested in sex right now shouldn't define whether or not you get to feel sexy. Make sure you're taking care of yourself so that you still feel good regardless of what he does/doesn't bring to the table. Get your hair done. Keep up with working out and eating healthy. Try (as hard as it is) to find maternity clothes that still fit and flatter you.
I know that for me I struggled a little with feeling sexy as my body started changing. But I had also stopped working out. I went back to the gym and even though I'm still putting healthy weight on, I feel a lot more strong, confident, and in control.
Talk to your husband. Communication is so so important! Tell him what you need and want from him but don't forget to ask what he needs and wants from you.
MMC 01/26/12
MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13
BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!
DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
MC @ 13wks 01/15/15
BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18
I completely agree with this and what the PP said about his having no sex drive and see a doctor. Maybe he has a low testosterone count? Maybe he is having some self confidence issues because things aren't working properly.
That's a good idea for him to talk to his doctor as well. Good luck!!
This. It could also just be something deeper..Is he typically a good communicator? Don't be embarrassed! You shouldn't be ashamed, maybe plan an evening where you two can just go out, get him relaxed and maybe he'll open up. Good luck!