I am throwing a bridal shower at our church for my sister (slight Bridezilla) in August. Our church (squarely middle class church) tends to have very traditional bridal showers with lots of kitchenware and little ladies gathering to eat cake and talk about their weddings from 1950 something. They are very sweet and actually kind of fun.
My sister and her fianc? registered at a furniture store and a high end department store. This is fine - I'm not judging them for what they want - but the church ladies tend to be much more likely to shop at Target. I tried to give my sister a gentle heads up that they'll likely ignore her registry (which is, of course, absolutely their right to do so).
Problem is, sister would like me to "encourage" the church ladies to either group up to get expensive items off her registry or to just give her money if they don't like the registry. I told my sis that I am not comfortable doing this. I think that people are coming to celebrate and will give what they can. Sister feels that I am not being supportive enough.
Any suggestions for how to handle this? I feel like my sis ought to be appreciative or just not have a church shower. I really don't think it's right to put anything on the invitation directing people where to shop and I'm definitely not going to tell them what to do via a casual conversation after Sunday service . . .
I should note here that my sister has already had one shower (a couples shower thrown by her fianc?'s family) and will be having one thrown by a coworker bridesmaid at her work. I was specifically asked to throw the church shower so moving the venue or changing the guest list isn't an option.
Re: NBR: Bridal Shower Question
When someone hosts a shower at our church for someone, it usually says somewhere on the invitation "if you would like to contribute to a group gift, please talk to so and so" and lots of people do that because:
A) it's easier to just give over some cash
Nobody really knows how much you are spending
C) someone else shops and wraps for you.
It works out really well. Others will give stuff that they pick out themselves and it very rarely comes from the registry since we live in a small town.
ETA: Your sister was really rude to request you throw a shower for her.
Maybe I'm getting lazy and finding ways to avoid stress this late in my pregnancy.. but just tell her you'll do it, and don't. She'll never know .
Part of me thinks this is an answer I wouldn't suggest normally... but oh well!
She sounds a bit entitled, TBH. You aren't being "supportive" enough because you aren't telling people how to spend their money on her? Please. Many people don't get any showers,much less THREE.
She's looking the gift horse in the mouth at the moment.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would tell her again that you don't feel comfortable and it's considered rude to tell a guest how to spend money. If that doesn't work then tell her this: "Ya Get What Ya Get and Ya Don't Throw a Fit" if my niece could grasp this concept at 3 why can't adult women? If she persists then I would quietly buy her an Emily Post/Miss Manners book and call it a day.
I'd go with this approach!
I like the tactic of saying that I'll see what I can do and then just not ...
A group gift that someone else organizes might be a way to go.
Thanks much!
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