Update
adsprinkle89
member
For those of you who didn't read my original intro; we found out of our MMC at my 15w appointment. The baby had passes away around week 13 so I was scheduled to go to the hospital that night to start the induction and delivery process. The next day (7/27/2013) I delivered my baby boy!
The first week was awful! It was filled with tears, blabbering and utter madness in my head. Week two was better because there was not many tears (and I had found this board!!) but without the tears there seemed to be a void or something missing. But now we are in week 3 post MMC and last night was good.
As DH and I laid in bed, he put his hand on my stomach (more of a subconscious action) and as I laid my hand on his it just sent my mind on a roller coaster of where we should be. I cried, and I cried hard! He freaked of course since I had been doing so well but when I told him what was going on he understood and just let me sob. It felt so good to cry again, I know that must sound weird, but for some reason I just haven't been able to let go.
Today has been the best day and I have been genuinely happy. I went to the store and instead of leaving my house worried that someone may say something that would make me cry in public, I walked out of my house wanting someone to ask questions or just talk to me because it would be a chance to share my story even if I break down! It is a relief to accept that tears are just going to be apart of this situation, and embrace that we all have amazing stories to tell about our angel babies even though they were with us for such a short time. I feel terrible for each and every one of you ladies for having to be here (especially those just joining) and just know that with time comes clarity. T&P ((HUGS))
Re: Update
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
BFP 06/05/2013 | EDD 02/10/2014 | D&C 07/12/2013
This. Exactly.
I'm glad today was better. I had the same reaction to my DH putting his hand on my belly. I must have recoiled because he moved his hand almost immediately. I felt like a crazy person....glad it's not just me.
One of my friends sent me a card after the mc. It said, today was a terrible day. Tomorrow will be better. I keep thinking of that and, like you have said, I think it's true. I hope your tomorrow is even better than today was.
BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.
BFP#2 11/6/2013. CP 11/14/2013.
BFP #3 12/13/2013. Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27. Beta #2 @17dpo - 90. CP 12/21/2013
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
All PgAL and PAL welcome.
So glad today was better! What a positive step forward. Even now, being at the beginning of this process I find that though I dread talking about it (especially in person with people) that I feel better after. DH has been very open with me about his feelings and we talk often about it.
I am so sorry for your loss but am so glad you have found yourself in this new mind set. T&P to you and all of these brave ladies.