sex!?

LovieLamb25 · July 2013

Well I have lost the passion!!! I haven't had sex with fiance in about 3 weeks. Yikes! !
And the crazy part is I don't want to. I feel so full and bloated all of the time! It's like having sex right now would make me feel ugh...

I love cuddling and kissing and rubbing but the thought of sex right now doesn't even turn me on that's new to me

I feel bad for him! I told him how I feel and he said he understands but I still feel bad. I feel like I cut off his oxygen supply... that's a joke

I feel like i Should just suck it up and make love to him even though
It will totally be for him. And I will not be In it.

Have any of you lost your sex drive? I thought many women sex drive increases during pregnancy. Am I wrong about that ...I know in my case I am

vbryant55 · July 2013

Same here! I am exhausted! The worst part is I want it but am too tired to follow through! I feel your pain but don't worry your Fianc understands.

dizzycooks · July 2013

Nope, not happening. DH would be thrilled if it HAD happened in the last three weeks. lol

MamaAllison · July 2013

It will change - a lot of women get very interested in sex during 2nd trimester - you'll just have to hope your SO likes doing it with a preggo. My DH was good until about the last month and then he just was not interested anymore. Just be open and honest with each other about how you are feeling - I think that's the ticket

Madelyn0713 · July 2013

I've definitely lost my drive but I'm fine with it. We won't be having sex at all this pregnancy. Even though I know it isn't dangerous or hurtful to the baby, I'm just not comfortable doing it. If anything were to happen, even knowing that wasn't the cause, I would never be able to forgive myself. 5 years of TTC and 2 losses....just isn't worth it to me.

amber2913 · July 2013

I soooo understand. Zilch desire for anything for weeks now. And I'm sickest in the evenings, which means I'm already in "don't touch me, don't kiss me, don't talk to me, don't breathe in my direction, etc." mode by the time DH gets home. Poor guy.

Like others said, this is common. I think you just have to talk about it. And maybe try to take advantage of the times when you DO feel good (or at least up to it). I'm trying to be "available" more in the mornings, when I feel not quite as crappy. It's still not my favorite thing right now by any means, but it makes DH feel taken care of, which makes me happy.

MamaVantobe · July 2013

car seat:
There's nothing crazy or weird about this. We're not going to tell you whether or not to have sex with him if you don't want to do it.

But wait. That wasn't her question...

boogerbearoriginal · July 2013

Sex drive varies from woman to woman, and some find it gets better in the second tri. And it's certainly understandable to not feel sexy when you're feeling bloated/nauseous all day. Mine has definitely taken a nose dive, but I've found once we start doing stuff I get into it. You may find a little extra foreplay will help you get back in the groove.

There have been times, pg/not, where I wasn't super excited to do it, but I went ahead because H asked. Never regretted it. For me/H sex is a very important part of our relationship and staying connected. I've also found the longer we go without the lower my libido gets.

I know this isn't necessarily a popular opinion but we all do things for our partner that maybe aren't at top of our list of things we like. Sex can sometimes be for the other person and it's ok.

At the end of the day, this is a hugely personal decision. Some couples are fine going longer stretches in between, others need more constant sexual contact. And there are other factors that go into play, like history of m/c. It's about doing what works best for you two.

mrsseguin · July 2013

With all my pregnancies I've lost my sex drive. I think we had sex maybe a total of 10 times during each of my pregnancies. I was also put on pelvic. It is what it is...You can always make up for it afterwards!

Rbfdac1 · July 2013

Because of an early miscarriage that began with bleeding after intercourse last time, we did not have sex from the time I found out at a little before 4 weeks until I was about 8.5 weeks. And the sad part is I didn't even miss it. I felt bad for my hubby as well, and we have been together a couple of times since then, but I am right there with ya! Bloated and tired and just have no libido! Lovely.

catsinawindow · July 2013

I'm going to agree with this. DH and I have always had somewhat mismatched sex drives. Early PG and postbaby it's been worse. "Scheduling" sex, even just in my head, helps me be more receptive. I think sex is an important part of many healthy relationships, and once I'm in the swing of things I do enjoy it. This is what works for us. You'll have to see what works for you and your DF.

Whoops, I meant to quote Booger Bear!

orchid8301 · July 2013

I havent been 100% into it lately, but towards the end of my last pregnancy, my DH wasnt really into it and I felt really disconnected. I never hate it once we get going. Smile

Zriseon3 · July 2013

Bookshelves:
We haven't had sex since May because of progesterone suppositories/PGAL fears/general 1st tri ickiness. It is what it is.

Just be honest about how you're feeling. Your SO will survive.

Same here. My husband understands and hasn't questioned it.

one2andnow3 · July 2013

CrisM022:
I havent been 100 into it lately, but towards the end of my last pregnancy, my DH wasnt really into it and I felt really disconnected. I never hate it once we get going. [:]

This exactly.

mamatobe2012 · July 2013

Booger+Bear:
Sex drive varies from woman to woman, and some find it gets better in the second tri. And it's certainly understandable to not feel sexy when you're feeling bloated/nauseous all day. Mine has definitely taken a nose dive, but I've found once we start doing stuff I get into it. You may find a little extra foreplay will help you get back in the groove.
There have been times, pg/not, where I wasn't super excited to do it, but I went ahead because H asked. Never regretted it. For me/H sex is a very important part of our relationship and staying connected. I've also found the longer we go without the lower my libido gets.
I know this isn't necessarily a popular opinion but we all do things for our partner that maybe aren't at top of our list of things we like. Sex can sometimes be for the other person and it's ok.
At the end of the day, this is a hugely personal decision. Some couples are fine going longer stretches in between, others need more constant sexual contact. And there are other factors that go into play, like history of m/c. It's about doing what works best for you two.

This for me as well!

hangerland · July 2013

Last night was the 1st night since conceiving that my husband and I did it!!! I'm 8w3d and after all the scheduled sex we were both OVER IT. But on that note, it was amazing last night! Much better than prepregnancy sex...every thing is more sensitive but in a good way!

courtls22 · July 2013

I've been the exact same way. Basically since I found out I'm pregnant it's been like this. Only have had sex three times in the past 7 weeks! I feel horrible but I can think of SO many things I'd rather be doing than that. I've never felt this way before either! At least I know I'm not alone!

sex!?

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