when is lack of PT a concern?
dande2129
member
DS1 turned 3 in May. He is so against the potty since we began at about 20 months. In the beginning, it was very nonchalant. We just had the potty there, didn't force him to go on it--- just kind of said, "Oh hey, here's this thing. You can sit on it and pee! It's super cool!" He didn't take to it, but I figured with some encouragement he will.
Fast forward to now, and if you even suggest, "Do you need to try to go on the potty?" He yells, "No! Go away!" If you try to reach for him to pick him up, he punches, scratches, screams "NOOO!!!!" etc.
We have tried patience, sticker charts, jelly beans/other candies, special treats (whether that be activities that are a reward or something more than two jelly beans) I don't want to forcefully put him on the toilet, because I don't want there to be an even greater negative connotation than there already is now (though I have no idea where he got it)
We have tried several different style of pottys that goes on the toilet. We have tried a potty that sits on the ground. We have tried removing the seat entirely and letting him either sit on it himself or stand up to pee. We have tried staying in with him and we have tried giving him privacy.
We have tried putting him in underwear with "Oh my gosh, you're such a big boy! Wow!" and over encouragement. We have tried for several days in a row, and he just pees (or poops) in the underwear and all over everything that is around him.
I am at my whits effing end, and I am concerned that he is over three and has zero ambition for toilet training whatsoever.
He goes to daycare, and he will go in the toilet there but he absolutely will not go for myself, FI, his grandparents or a sitter.
I know that there are therapist for delays such as PT, but I don't know at what age it is considered a concern that they aren't PT, or have such an aversion to it. Is anything going through the same thing?
Re: when is lack of PT a concern?
I'd drop the idea entirely for a month (let his potty be out, let his underwear be available, but just don't talk about it). Then, when you decide you should try again, talk to him about it for a few weeks (yes, I said weeks - I talked to my daughter about it for about five) first, so the idea can really sink in. Then try again.
But give him a break for now.
Also, you might try talking to him about what potty training means to him. My daughter associated potty training with "being a big girl", but she also associated not being able to nurse any more with "being a big girl". Hence, to her, potty training meant no more booby milk, and she didn't want that. I had to talk to her about that for a while, and she seemed skeptical until it actually happened. But you might ask - gently - about what sort of things he associates with using a big potty. (And you might drop the "big boy" words, if using them. He might not want to be a big boy and give up the things associated with being a little boy.)
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!
I would just shelve the entire concept for a couple months. A lot of kids aren't PT'd until 3-4 years old.
He probably is picking up on a lot of your frustrations as well. Just let it go for a bit and try again in few months.
It will happen when it happens. No one goes to kindergarten in diapers.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
It's not JUST me. It is everyone else around him, even those in FI's family and my family that don't see him often, usually people that when they say "jump" he jumps. But not for PTing.