Here is the email I sent.
Also- we sent the email because we had people visit last time without asking or calling. We were very polite when they came- but wanted to avoid it this time.
I just got a reply from my grandma saying "I would love to come once you're home! Let me know when you're up for visitors!"
I also got one from his grandmother. It simply said "Whatever..."
Hello all!
Re: Nasty Emails- Update
If that's unedited from what you sent, than I see no reason for anyone to reply in a snarky manner. You made it clear that you would welcome visitors once you were back an home.
BFP #1 09/15/09, MMC 09/28/09
BFP #2 06/04/12, EDD 02/09/13, MC at 6w3d on 06/18/12
BFP #3 01/16/13, EDD 10/04/13, Born 09/17/13
Honestly, I would guess the bit about having parents, siblings AND their spouses might be a big part of why theyre miffed. Thats still *a lot* of people that get to visit in the hospital, so his aunt/grandma are probably just feeling singled out arbitrarily.
But still, it really is 100% your decision who visits you in the hospital, so they should have just responded gracefully and kept their peace about it.
Your email was really nice, and I think you did the right thing informing them beforehand of your wishes. It helps you avoid the awkwardness of asking them to leave if they show up unannounced.
Honestly, your DH's aunt and grandma sound childish. I'd let your husband handle them and their issues.
Agreed!
How I felt exactly.
The fact that you just said "adult underpants" makes me want to be your best friend.
Your email was very polite and to the point. They are probably getting their panties in a twist because they are not getting their way. Your grandmother's response was appropriate and what someone with an adult mentality, who actually cares about the Mama more than themselves, would say. I may actually use some of your wording when communicating our wishes to the people around us.
The email was sent to both families, so several were "left out." My husband responded to her and told her that. We weren't sure how she thought it was just the two of them when she could see everyone I sent it to.
hopefully yours goes over better than mine!
This!
This. F them if they don't like it. What big babies. And shame on them for giving you grief during this exciting time in your life!
No kidding! I'm appalled by what some people think is appropriate.
You could apologize for any hurt feelings but stand your ground on limiting visitors. This is for you and DH to decide. They will get over it.
Exactly.
This isn't a time to be a people pleaser. Your email was as well said as it could have been.
Your email seems fine and appropriate as people seem to have their own ideas about the birth of YOUR child. We have had to make it very clear to several family members that we are not having visitors until after the birth which has hurt some feelings as people thought they would be in the room without ever discussing this with us! Ugh
I would just let your husband deal with this one since it's his family being immature. Good luck - this drama is stupid, hopefully it blows over soon!
I think your email was fine. Some people are just use to doing things their way and can't understand why.
I sent a similar email to my and DH's family asking for something similar (we also sent it to mine)- We don't want people waiting at the hospital during labor and would like a few HOURS for bonding before having visitors. We simply told them we'd call when we were ready for visitors.
MIL responded with, "well if you're going to do it this way then I'll just go to TX" (DH's cousin is graduating there the week I am due- we live in GA). Our response- "have a safe trip". She has since apologized and said she understands.
Don't let them bother you. It's not about them.
Perfect response!