moms of 2 plus

michelle7482 · July 2013

Was it easier for you to go from 0 to 1 kid, or 1 to 2 kids? I had a rough few wks as a ftm, so I'm hoping for a better transition going from 1 to 2. Mine will be 18 mos apart. Most of my family and friends have said going from 1 to 2 was easier. Your thoughts?

katiezab · July 2013

I'm anxious about this as well. This baby will be my second. I want to get settled into a new routine way faster than I did with DS, for everyone's sakes. I will definitely be following for responses...

4Angel5 · July 2013

1 to 2 was easier for me, but mine were almost 3 years apart. Focus on the positives... You have the basics down, now it's more about balancing schedules and making sure 1 gets some individual attention too. Finding ways of making 1 feel included while 2 needs help... With any luck 1 will like being mommy's big helper, even if it is simple tasks while 1 is still young. Best wishes!

caover · July 2013

I have twins but I feel like 2 to 3 is going to be hell on earth.

danssugahbugah · July 2013

1 to 2 was much harder for me. However, my second was a very very difficult baby. My first was a great sleeper, nurser, etc. My second, well was the opposite and I also got mastitis about 2 weeks after he was born. Most of my mommy friends day that 0 to 1 was the hardest for sure so don't worry!!!

starinyte · July 2013

danssugahbugah:
1 to 2 was much harder for me. However, my second was a very very difficult baby. My first was a great sleeper, nurser, etc. My second, well was the opposite and I also got mastitis about 2 weeks after he was born. Most of my mommy friends day that 0 to 1 was the hardest for sure so don't worry!!!

I could have written the bolded area. 1 to 2 was so rough, I'm not going to lie. I felt like if motherhood was a video game I had gone from "easy" to "insane" mode overnight.

With that said, there were a few special factors with my experience. One is that my little ones were less than 13 months apart. My first DD was very much still a baby when her sister was born. The second factor is that DD2 had a challenging beginning with a mysterious stomach ailment that kept her from sleeping more than 2 hours at a time for nearly the entirety of her first year.

Now that they are older (3 and 4), they are the best of friends and I think having the two of them makes it so much easier than if I only had one. So, please, I hope I didn't frighten you!

SweetPeaK26 · July 2013

I didn't think it was that hard going from 1 to 2. Mine were 13 months apart. I think the best choice I made was to have them nap at separate times for the first few months, then I only had one awake at a time! Once dd2 started to be more active, I switched them to napping at the same time.

Just always plan plenty of time to get out the door, get places early to get them both out of the car etc.

HeatherMc78 · July 2013

Going from 1 to 2 wasn't that difficult for me. My boys are 3 years apart. I tried to spend quality time with my first and taking on special outings without the baby. He also went to nursery school 3x's a week. It gave me bonding time with the baby. My 2nd and 3rd will be 3 years apart as well.
I found going from 0 to 1 hard. I was a nervous FTM and I quit my job to be a stay at home. It was a huge adjustment.

A37licia · July 2013

Both transitions had its own unique adjustments. It's hard to say what was easier. Life was less busy with one than with going to two. But there are extra joys of seeing your children interact and love each other.

starinyte · July 2013

A37licia:
But there are extra joys of seeing your children interact and love each other.

Yes! This, exactly. I wouldn't trade that first year with both DDs for anything now that I see how happy they are to be together. It is the most amazing thing to see their bond.

Jason&Erin82507 · July 2013

HeatherMc78:
Going from 1 to 2 wasn't that difficult for me. My boys are 3 years apart. I tried to spend quality time with my first and taking on special outings without the baby. He also went to nursery school 3x's a week. It gave me bonding time with the baby. My 2nd and 3rd will be 3 years apart as well. I found going from 0 to 1 hard. I was a nervous FTM and I quit my job to be a stay at home. It was a huge adjustment.

Im hoping things will be the same for me..dd will be in school a few days a week and there will be over 3 years between them. 0 to 1 was rough for me both because I was a ftm, but also because I had made the transition to staying at home. My life was turned upside down for the first 2-3 months.

I always said to my husband, that I know I was pregnant for 9 months and aware that a baby was coming, but nothing I did or could have done prepared me for motherhood. I'm hoping that having a little experience under my belt (and knowing what headed my way) will help make the from 1 to 2, a little easier.

Awesome question OP!

AshlynBlake · July 2013

I thought... what the hell did I do when I went from 1 to 2.

My kids are 2 years apart and the first 4 months until DD potty trained I felt like all I did was change diapers and feed.

DD was very much a "baby" still when DS came around needing me to keep her entertained and I SAHM so It was very very hard

It got easier like 3-4 weeks out once I figured out a schedule for all of us and got out of the house everyday.

This time I have DD who is 5 and will be full time Kind. Ds who is 3 and will be in MDO 2X a week and then the baby, I think I will be able to handle it much better since I know what to expect and know that this too shall pass

A37licia · July 2013

KateB1984:
Plus, I tell everyone that I find it MUCH harder having a toddler and being pregnant than having a toddler and a newborn. So perhaps a huge part of it is the contrast. When the baby comes, I find it easier to keep up to the toddler, and MUCH easier once the hormones mellow out.
Good luck!

This is actually a really interesting side point. Perhaps some of us moms picture our life and energy NOW, with an added kid when baby comes, and wonder how we will get through the day. I personally have forgotten how I feel SO MUCH better when I'm no longer pregnant. I'm tired, sure, from less sleep, but the physical toll of pregnancy is not there any longer and I'm up for the daily task of an additional child.

Arielle27 · July 2013

1 to 2 was way easier for us.

michelle7482 · July 2013

Thanks for the responses and different p.o.v. I know every situation is different, but its nice to hear about others' experiences!

JocelynB0911 · July 2013

For me 0-1 was a breeze but 1-2 was difficult. It had everything to do with my son getting very sick at 3 weeks and needing nebs 3 times a day then being in the hospital for a full week when he was 6 weeks old. He still needed nebs 2 times per day after he got out. my two were 15.5 months apart.

I am not going to lie, I am petrified to go from 2 to 4. I am worried about keeping the older two occupied while I feed the twins. I still dont know if I will be able to tandem nurse like I hope to. But IMO, you will never know how things will go until the new baby gets here.

DonnaMartinGraduates · July 2013

4Angel5:
1 to 2 was easier for me, but mine were almost 3 years apart. Focus on the positives... You have the basics down, now it's more about balancing schedules and making sure 1 gets some individual attention too. Finding ways of making 1 feel included while 2 needs help... With any luck 1 will like being mommy's big helper, even if it is simple tasks while 1 is still young. Best wishes!

All of this. I did miss the down time I had during naps when there was just one kid, but it was a pretty smooth transition from 1 to 2!

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