Want to scream...

Nascarmom48 · July 2013

At people! in the last 2 days I have had 3 people tell me good luck with BFing. Its so hard. you will prob only make it a few weeks. I wan't to just yell at them say yes I get its going to be hard, yes it may hurt. Yes, I'm the only one that can feed him. I'm really want to make 1yr if not 2yrs. Why do people just shut you down when you want to BF. UGH!

MBush4 · July 2013

Sorry. People seem to impose their own difficulties on others and assume they will be the same. I planned on EBF for at least 1 year. Lo and behold DS was in the NICU for almost a month and despite our best efforts he never latched so now I'm an EPing mom. But my goal is still at least 1 year. You can do it! As long as you realize there will be difficulties, you can do it! Just keep in mind though that if it doesn't go exactly as you planned, it's okay. Wink

tokenhoser · July 2013

Like most things, it's about them. They need to feel better about their experience by making you feel worse about yours. It's ridiculously selfish and rude.

Tune it out, find positive people to talk to, and get on with your own baby when the time comes.

PipSqueak0313 · July 2013

Nascarmom48:
At people! in the last 2 days I have had 3 people tell me good luck with BFing. Its so hard. you will prob only make it a few weeks. I wan't to just yell at them say yes I get its going to be hard, yes it may hurt. Yes, I'm the only one that can feed him. I'm really want to make 1yr if not 2yrs. Why do people just shut you down when you want to BF. UGH!nbsp;

Why? Well, one family member admitted 16 years ago to being jealous that I was at least trying to bf since said family member had inverted nipples and couldnt or wouldnt try bf in the 60s and 70s.

This time around same family member is trying much harder to deal with that jealousy silently, but can tell it still exists in a couple comments from her. ie asking me if I am sure I should be nursing LO and then dropping topic or accepting my yes.

Dont know if everyone objecting is jealous but it was true for my biggest female critic.

Oohgurl · July 2013

Nascarmom48:
At people! in the last 2 days I have had 3 people tell me good luck with BFing. Its so hard. you will prob only make it a few weeks. I wan't to just yell at them say yes I get its going to be hard, yes it may hurt. Yes, I'm the only one that can feed him. I'm really want to make 1yr if not 2yrs. Why do people just shut you down when you want to BF. UGH!nbsp;

Actually i have thought the opposite. Breastfeeding is hard and all the people that asked me if i was going to BF never mentioned how hard it is. I think its something that people DONT talk about.

I never knew how hard the first 2 weeks were going to be. I wish someone would have told me. I never realized how much more often BF babies ate and that for the first month I would be breastfeeding for literally 8-10 hours a day. I wish someone would have told me.

It wouldn't have made a difference in my decision to BF but i wouldn't have doubted myself if I knew what to expect. The first couple of weeks I thought i must be doing something wrong but no i wasn't, it is just hard. And i never knew.

YellowLily2013 · July 2013

I'm in my first week bfing and it is soo much harder than I could ever have expected. And there is only so much you can comprehend before actually doing it.

I think it's great to be able to talk about the difficulties openly so women have the resources they need to make it to a year or whatever their goal is. Keep an open mind that things can change and everyone's experience is different.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

The first five days were hell for me, not gonna lie but it's only five days and I had a CS so a lot of it for me was it took longer for my milk to come in. My advice is to look up bottle feeding with simulated letdown and try to avoid the SNS which gave me a huge headache. We've hit some bumps but it's been more than worth a few days of frustration.

As for what to say, I would just say something about to each her own or something. It's no business to them how you feed your kid just as it's not yours how they feed theirs. Also, remember they might be jealous if (and when) you are successful if they gave up.

Ardmhs83 · July 2013

I believe people do that when they are insecure about their own decision to not nurse or quit early. You can do it...promise!!!! Will it be hard, of course, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.
Have good support around you, keep pushing yourself even when things get tough, have a LC or a LLL leader to call when problems arise and don't have any formula in the home. May not be tempting to you, but others in the middle of the night when your asleep. I heard of husbands doing this. Not mine...he knows better!
My best advice...never quit on a bad day and don't say you "will try" to nurse. You may be more inclined to quit. Say you know for a fact that you will nurse...no matter what!
You can do it momma...we were made for this!

Nascarmom48 · July 2013

Thank you Mama's, this is 1 thing that I'm very very admit about. I have told everyone that I want to do it. So much so that I have read this board everyday. I have taken 2 breast Feeding Classes and plan on going to a 3rd later this month. My husband and My mom (mom is staying with us for 10 days after baby is born) both know that this is very important to me. I have told them both that don't let me give up just because I'm sleep deprived.

AlwaysForgetful · July 2013

You know, I had problems BF with 3 out of 4 kids. One would never latch (NICU for 73 days) and I worked a LOT with a LC through all of the kids. I get an attitude anymore and ask them why... and then why did they not breast feed. Rude? Yes. I tknow this. But so is their comments. Mostly I get the "I can't"... and it was because of pain or something that is normal at first. Meh. I do have one friend (who never made comments) who truly can't breast feed.

Sorry, I am having a bad day.

I am pregnant with #5 and was just told my kids were be perverts because I do not "cover up". Yep. Ok. I have also been told that I just won't have time to with so many kids. Umm, kinda like I didn't have time with #4 who was my first success with my milk getting me to 9 months and pumped and frozen getting me past a year?

Just ignore them. YOU CAN DO IT! And never fear calling up the LC at the hospital for help. Be sure to get her card before you leave. Also see if your hospital has a support group for it. Mine does and we are nto in a large city. It is nice to be with moms that have all these comments coming at them.

Five Lives · July 2013

You can do it! It's cheap. It's healthy. For some women it is very difficult. But not always, and not for every baby even with the same woman. I have breastfed four. Two were hard, and two were wonderful. If you find something difficult, it's really important to have women who have done it to encourage you. And I highly recommend lactation consultants. I wish I had talked with one with my first. It might have saved a lot of pain and trouble. But we made it. I did talk with one when I had trouble with my fourth. But by then, really, I knew more on the subject than she did. But she did advocate to medical people for me, which resulted in my doctor getting retrained in frenectomy so he could help more patients sooner. It's such a blessing, and I am so glad I did it. I was sitting with an older woman once, nursing my baby, and her husband said to her, "Why didn't you ever breastfeed our kids?" She said, "YOU didn't let me!" I am so glad my mom and dad and husband were always a support. It can be hard to press on when all those you love and trust don't recognize the value in it.

linzeek44 · July 2013

That attitude is why I am part of a wonderful BFing support group.

There are a lot of people in my life who don't get it, but now there are a lot of people who do. I highly recommend finding a group in your area so you are surrounded by positivity and support.

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