Baby was Due July 4th

clarks415 · July 2013

Just wanted to post something weighing on my heart.

Our second baby was due to be born on July 4, 2011. For most of today I didn't really think about it. But tonight watching the fireworks I did. Each year since I always think of her watching the same fireworks as me from Heaven's view. Although we had a second son, Nolan in March 2012, I will always have that missing piece. Every year for those few beautiful quiet minutes of awe, I feel like it is just her and I watching those fireworks. It brings me to tears yet I am so thankful for this connection to her since it is all I have.

It is a journey ladies. And it changes who you are forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you all for happy healthy future pregnancies Just know you'll always remember, and that is okay.

Saritaota614 · July 2013

So touching! Thank you for sharing

Brought tears to my eyes

Junebug060609 · July 2013

((hugs))

My first loss was also a July '11 EDD (7/15/11). It's amazing how much life has changed since the first loss, but there are some dates you don't forget.

Serenla · July 2013

::hugs:: thank you, that helps so much.

thomas930 · July 2013

((hugs)) Thank you for sharing.

skategirl128 · July 2013

Big hugs! That story was so touching thank you for sharing. It brought tears to my eyes! More hugs!

Jess1781 · July 2013

Thanks for sharing, this made me tear up! I do feel we are forever changed and I am sad to lose that innocence we once had... But it is nice to find those small moments to connect.

SandSunBliss · July 2013

snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

this. I see it seems to have helped several others to read your story, but it doesn't really make me feel any better right now.

uneek1323 · July 2013

This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

EKGibs · July 2013

uneek1323:
This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

This.

scooteriste · July 2013

snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

Agreed.

OP, I'm glad your story helped some of the ladies here but personally, I have enough friends IRL who have children and say things like this to me. I don't need anyone's pity or their version of "hope".

Serenla · July 2013

EKGibs:
uneek1323:
This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.
This.

Oh wow, that was not cool if you are not on the 6 board.

Eta: I would just feel dirty even lurking on the 6 board. I'm not sure if that was ballsy or foolish...both.

SuperKim13 · July 2013

snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

Uh, yeah, I am with snedge here. I don't need to see a patronizing post (that includes your rainbow baby) to tell me that I will not forget my lost LO. I already think of that baby all day every day.

I am sorry for your loss, and that yesterday was difficult as an EDD, but please keep this stuff to Parenting After a Loss. Hopefully I'll see you there someday.

buggirl72 · July 2013

SandSunBliss:
snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.
this. I see it seems to have helped several others to read your story, but it doesn't really make me feel any better right now.

Thank you snedge!

OP, your post history shows that you know about PAL because you post there. That is where you should have posted this. Why on earth did you come to TTCAL? You are not TTC. That is great you thought about your little one but did you really have to come tell us that you remember your lost one while you hold your rainbow?

Many of us do not have a child to hold when we think about our lost little ones.

If you are TTC for a second rainbow, may I suggest you read the blog and intro?

Also - how incredibly insensitive that you posted this on 6+!

SoonaBailey · July 2013

I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies

buggirl72 · July 2013

SoonaBailey:
I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies

You are not going to make enemies.

What I would recommend though is to look at the signatures of those who are offended. All of them are (or where) active members of this board for over 6 months.

OPs post is inappropriate. PAL and March 2012 are her home boards. Coming on to this board to post "encouragement" is not appropriate.

Protecting everyone on this board from pain includes being respectful to those who are hurt by these type of posts. I hope you are not here long enough to understand this.

EKGibs · July 2013

buggirl72:
SoonaBailey:
I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies
You are not going to make enemies.
What I would recommend though is to look at the signatures of those who are offended. All of them are (or where) active members of this board for over 6 months.
OPs post is inappropriate. PAL and March 2012 are her home boards. Coming on to this board to post "encouragement" is not appropriate.
Protecting everyone on this board from pain includes being respectful to those who are hurt by these type of posts. I hope you are not here long enough to understand this.

This.

SoonaBailey · July 2013

I understand. I assumed OP was TTC ... I just wish no one had to be hurt by this, including op

I know I haven't been here long but I was ttc for around 18 months with my angel so I can relate at least a little... and I was trying to be respectful of everyone!!! I apologize if I failed.

uneek1323 · July 2013

Wait a minute guys. Some new girl who's been here for 5 minutes wants to tell us how we're wrong. We should listen.

soon2bmrsdaniel · July 2013

Thank you for sharing! This was so touching! We are all mommies, wether our babies are here with us or in Heaven

samjen2010 · July 2013

snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

I agree with snegde.

jap618 · July 2013

samjen2010:
snegde:
Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.
I agree with snegde.

Yes This. I read this and was not by any means *encouraged*. We just passed our 1 yr TTC mark & are a week away from our 2nd EDD. Definitely not what I needed. HUGS to everyone & thanks to the girls who are so wonderfully protective.

Baby was Due July 4th

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