I couldn't make a clicky poll but I just wanted to poll you all and see what the consensus is. In my area (MN), we give a gift at the bridal shower (if we're invited) and another gift at the wedding. My MIL and her family is from Oklahoma, and they only give one gift--either at the shower or the wedding. So if they are invited to the shower they give their wedding gift at the shower. If they don't attend a shower then they bring their gift to the wedding.
So what do you do, and what state are you from? Shower gift separate from wedding gift, or just one gift total? I am especially interested in what other Oklahomans have to say.
Re: Bridal shower Poll (OK people come in!)
I'm from Ontario. I got separate gifts at showers and at my wedding. The gifts at my showers were generally much smaller than what I got for my wedding and were according to shower theme.
I'm in IL, Chicago area. I've always known them to be two separate events, and therefore bought two separate gifts.
The shower is smaller, mostly female relatives and closer friends, and I usually bring a physical gift off of the registry in the $40-80 range, depending on how I'm connected to the person.
The wedding is bigger, more friends, coworkers, and other people in the couple's life beyond family & closest friends. I usually bring a card with a check, anywhere from $75-200, depending on how I'm connected to the person, and what my personal finances allow me to give at that moment.
Everyone who was at my bridal shower also attended my wedding, and I cannot think of anyone who brought a present to the shower but didn't bring something else to the wedding.
Mid-Atlantic region here.
If I'm invited to the shower and the wedding, I give a gift for both. The shower gift is usually less expensive. If I'm in the wedding party or co-hosting the shower, I usually go in with other hostesses on a larger gift. That's just the tradition with my close girlfriends, though.
It's not usually the custom here to invite every female wedding guest to the shower. Shower guests are usually relatives and close friends of the couple. So, if I'm going to a shower, it's for someone I'm close to. Also, I've been married for a while, so the shower is a chance for me to give something from ME to the bride. The wedding gift comes from both DH and I.
MN girl here too!
Bridal Shower: Gift or gift card depending on what is left on the registry.
Wedding: Gift or gift card or cash
Bachlorette Party: Lingere and or alcohol (think Hot Sex liquor)
I'm from Chicago.
Gifts at the shower, cash at the wedding.
All of this.
I was raised to give a gift for a shower, even if I don't attend. And then to do a separate gift for the wedding, again, even if I don't attend. I seem to be somewhat of an oddity on that one though.
This is pretty much how we do it in the NY metro as well.
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MD. I'm like you. If I go to the shower, I give a gift, then I give a wedding gift.
But it all comes out of one budget. If I say "$100" - then it's either two gifts split between that, or one gift for that full amount
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From Michigan. This is what we do too.
Born and raised in KS, and I never show up empty handed to any function. I gift at both. Typically a gift at the bridal shower, and a card with cash to the wedding.
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I give two smaller gifts if I'm invited to both and one larger one if I only go to the wedding. Shower gifts I spend around $40-75 depending who it is and wedding gifts are from the registry between $100-200.
I'm in AL.
San Francisco
Gift at shower-usually 50-60 bucks and from WS (where everyone seems to register) unless there is a theme and nothing from WS works
Gift at wedding-200-300 depending on how close I am to the person and I usually get china/silver/serving pieces from Gumps or Bloomingdales (again, where everyone seems to register)
I also give engagement party gifts. It is usually nice wine or champagne unless it is a formal party with real invites (not some email thing). If it is a formal party, then I give something off the registry.
It is rare to give cash. I think we got two checks total.
I am from PA and this is what we do
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From MA
typically gift at shower and small gift card to where their registered for the wedding
This! I am in TX and we only give 1 gift. People bring it to the shower (if they are invited) or buy off reg and it gets mailed to house. We do bring a small gift to a second shower if we go to more than 1 (usually because we are in the wedding or one is an engagement shower and the other a bridal shower).
We usually do a lingerie shower at the bach party as well.
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I'm also from Kansas. Everyone I know does 2 gifts. One for the shower, one for the wedding. I will say in my solid middle class circle, it's probably a little less money, I'd say between $20 and $30 for a shower gift, then between $40 and $60 for a wedding gift, unless you are related.
I guess I'm not sure what the point of the shower would be if you didn't do gifts?
I'm not sure there would be a point to a shower with no gifts.
What I was saying is in my MIL's family, if there is a bridal shower, you bring your wedding gift to the bridal shower, and then you don't bring a gift to the wedding. Your shower gift IS your wedding gift, its just all one gift. If you don't go to any shower then you just bring your gift to the wedding.
Another NY'er here. I always buy off of the registry for a shower. Cash or check as a wedding gift. I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in Maryland in 2002. It was the first time I ever saw actual gifts being given at a wedding. I never realized how regional typical wedding gifts were until then.
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I've never known anybody to just give one gift here.
In GA, where I owned a wedding planning business, it was a big mix. The gift tables at some weddings were full of BBB boxes, at others, the card box was lonely (but full). It is dependent on the social circle. If we were at the Ritz, I would often suggest a smaller gift table. If we were at a smaller, less expensive venue, I would often suggest a larger gift table or having a gift attendant at first to take items to a safe place until the end of the night so nothing fell off or broke.
VA - Gifts for both. Off registry for shower and cash/check for the wedding.
Now if your in the bridal party - would you still give 100+ as the wedding gift??
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