Baby Showers

Bridal shower Poll (OK people come in!)

I couldn't make a clicky poll but I just wanted to poll you all and see what the consensus is.  In my area (MN), we give a gift at the bridal shower (if we're invited) and another gift at the wedding.  My MIL and her family is from Oklahoma, and they only give one gift--either at the shower or the wedding.  So if they are invited to the shower they give their wedding gift at the shower.  If they don't attend a shower then they bring their gift to the wedding.  

So what do you do, and what state are you from?  Shower gift separate from wedding gift, or just one gift total? I am especially interested in what other Oklahomans have to say.

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Re: Bridal shower Poll (OK people come in!)

  • I'm from Ontario. I got separate gifts at showers and at my wedding. The gifts at my showers were generally much smaller than what I got for my wedding and were according to shower theme. 

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  • I'm in IL, Chicago area. I've always known them to be two separate events, and therefore bought two separate gifts.

    The shower is smaller, mostly female relatives and closer friends, and I usually bring a physical gift off of the registry in the $40-80 range, depending on how I'm connected to the person.

    The wedding is bigger, more friends, coworkers, and other people in the couple's life beyond family & closest friends. I usually bring a card with a check, anywhere from $75-200, depending on how I'm connected to the person, and what my personal finances allow me to give at that moment.

    Everyone who was at my bridal shower also attended my wedding, and I cannot think of anyone who brought a present to the shower but didn't bring something else to the wedding. 

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  • Wisconsin- gift at shower, gift or money at wedding
       
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  • Mid-Atlantic region here.

    If I'm invited to the shower and the wedding, I give a gift for both.  The shower gift is usually less expensive.  If I'm in the wedding party or co-hosting the shower, I usually go in with other hostesses on a larger gift.  That's just the tradition with my close girlfriends, though.

    It's not usually the custom here to invite every female wedding guest to the shower.  Shower guests are usually relatives and close friends of the couple.  So, if I'm going to a shower, it's for someone I'm close to.  Also, I've been married for a while, so the shower is a chance for me to give something from ME to the bride.  The wedding gift comes from both DH and I.

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  • MN girl here too!

    Bridal Shower: Gift or gift card depending on what is left on the registry.

    Wedding: Gift or gift card or cash

    Bachlorette Party: Lingere and or alcohol (think Hot Sex liquor)

  • I'm from Chicago.

    Gifts at the shower, cash at the wedding. 

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  • From VA, gift from the registry for about $50-$60 for the shower and a check or gift for the wedding for $150-$200 depending if we're close to people or if we've travelled to the wedding.
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  • imagecoopsbaby:
    Wisconsin gift at shower, gift or money at wedding

    All of this.
  • Born in California, spent most of my time growing up in Virginia. 

    I was raised to give a gift for a shower, even if I don't attend.  And then to do a separate gift for the wedding, again, even if I don't attend.  I seem to be somewhat of an oddity on that one though. 
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  • imageEstwd2:
    From CT originally. Gift at shower. Cash gift at wedding.

    This is pretty much how we do it in the NY metro as well.

     

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  • MD.  I'm like you. If I go to the shower, I give a gift, then I give a wedding gift. 

    But it all comes out of one budget.  If I say "$100" - then it's either two gifts split between that, or one gift for that full amount

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  • I am from Kansas, but live in OK. Both places I believe do the one gift total.
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  • imageJoeLies:
    I live in CT but grew up in Mass.nbsp; Only family and close friends are generally invited to showers, and they bring separate shower gifts to the shower and a wedding gift to the wedding.


    From Michigan. This is what we do too.

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  • imageBlondieBia21:
    I am from Kansas, but live in OK. Both places I believe do the one gift total.

    Born and raised in KS, and I never show up empty handed to any function. I gift at both. Typically a gift at the bridal shower, and a card with cash to the wedding. 

     
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  • I live in AL, it is one gift.
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  • Illinois-a gift for each event
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  • I give two smaller gifts if I'm invited to both and one larger one if I only go to the wedding. Shower gifts I spend around $40-75 depending who it is and wedding gifts are from the registry between $100-200.

    I'm in AL. 

  • I'm from Kansas (so, close!) and for my wedding and bridal shower, I got gifts for both. It was a pretty even mixture of gifts or cash/gift cards at the wedding. The shower gift was generally smaller. This is what I've always thought to be the norm in my area!
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  • San Francisco

    Gift at shower-usually 50-60 bucks and from WS (where everyone seems to register) unless there is a theme and nothing from WS works

    Gift at wedding-200-300 depending on how close I am to the person and I usually get china/silver/serving pieces from Gumps or Bloomingdales (again, where everyone seems to register)

    I also give engagement party gifts. It is usually nice wine or champagne unless it is a formal party with real invites (not some email thing). If it is a formal party, then I give something off the registry. 

    It is rare to give cash. I think we got two checks total.

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  • I live in Massachusetts and we give a gift for the shower, which is usually from WS and costs between 5060 and for the wedding we also give a gift, which is typically 200 plus cash.
  • imageEstwd2:
    From CT originally. Gift at shower. Cash gift at wedding.

    I am from PA and this is what we do 

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  • I'm from Michigan. Gift at shower, money at wedding.




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  • RK125RK125 member

    From MA 

    typically gift at shower and small gift card to where their registered for the wedding 

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  • imageBlondieBia21:
    I am from Kansas, but live in OK. Both places I believe do the one gift total.

     

    This! I am in TX and we only give 1 gift. People bring it to the shower (if they are invited) or buy off reg and it gets mailed to house. We do bring a small gift to a second shower if we go to more than 1 (usually because we are in the wedding or one is an engagement shower and the other a bridal shower).

    We usually do a lingerie shower at the bach party as well.   

  • Midwest here. We give separate gifts for both the shower and wedding.
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  • I'm from Philly.  We give a bridal shower gift, usually from a registry, for the shower.  We then give money (anyhwhere from $100-$200 depending on who is getting married) for the wedding.  Once in a while someone will give a gift at the wedding, but it is MUCH MORE COMMON to give money at weddings.

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  • NJ here... We give a gift at the shower and a check at the wedding.
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  • I'm also from Kansas. Everyone I know does 2 gifts. One for the shower, one for the wedding. I will say in my solid middle class circle, it's probably a little less money, I'd say between $20 and $30 for a shower gift, then between $40 and $60 for a wedding gift, unless you are related.  

    I guess I'm not sure what the point of the shower would be if you didn't do gifts? 

  • imagegreengirl0909:

    I'm also from Kansas. Everyone I know does 2 gifts. One for the shower, one for the wedding. I will say in my solid middle class circle, it's probably a little less money, I'd say between $20 and $30 for a shower gift, then between $40 and $60 for a wedding gift, unless you are related.  

    I guess I'm not sure what the point of the shower would be if you didn't do gifts? 

     I'm not sure there would be a point to a shower with no gifts.  

    What I was saying is in my MIL's family, if there is a bridal shower, you bring your wedding gift to the bridal shower, and then you don't bring a gift to the wedding.  Your shower gift IS your wedding gift, its just all one gift.  If you don't go to any shower then you just bring your gift to the wedding. 

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  • I am from MO and we do two gifts as well ( if invited to the shower).  I have never heard of the one gift thing. 
  • imageHappy_Yahoo_Personaler:
    NY born and raised.nbsp; We gift at the shower typically a useful/needed item like pots and pans, knife set, etc and again at the wedding typically a check.


    Another NY'er here. I always buy off of the registry for a shower. Cash or check as a wedding gift. I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in Maryland in 2002. It was the first time I ever saw actual gifts being given at a wedding. I never realized how regional typical wedding gifts were until then.
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  • I'm from MD, and we give a shower gift and a wedding gift. I've also lived in NY, and there it's customary to give a shower gift and a wedding check. 
  • imagePnkBride:
    I live in AL, it is one gift.

    I've never known anybody to just give one gift here.  

  • Texas most people either bring a gift to the shower OR the wedding. Not both.
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  • edited September 2013
    Generally the guest, invited in shower and weddings, are different.  Bridal Shower is meant for the bride hence one should take any gift related to her it can be jewelry, clothes, makeup kit, cosmetics or anything from the gift registry. Wedding gifts are different from bridal gifts, these gifts are for the couple. These can include houses stuffs, kitchen tools, dinner voucher  or some other things for both the bride and groom. That is why I think if you have  got the invitation and you are attending  both the events,  take small gifts in your budget separately for both.
  • In NY, where I grew up: gift (typically off the registry) for shower and cash/check for wedding.

    In GA, where I owned a wedding planning business, it was a big mix. The gift tables at some weddings were full of BBB boxes, at others, the card box was lonely (but full). It is dependent on the social circle. If we were at the Ritz, I would often suggest a smaller gift table. If we were at a smaller, less expensive venue, I would often suggest a larger gift table or having a gift attendant at first to take items to a safe place until the end of the night so nothing fell off or broke.
  • rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
    edited September 2013
    from VA (originally MI) - in both places it was cheaper gift at the shower, larger gift/cash at the wedding.

    I did have one family who could not make it to my wedding, but the mom came to my shower, and gave me a nice shower gift that was in place of both.  So I guess I can see it going either way, just not what I'm used to.

    ETA: gotta learn to look at dates before responding to random threads that get bumped.....
  • Also from MN and also do a gift for both events.

    One thing that is key though - the total spent on both gifts is not greater than what I would spend if I only gave a single gift.  I.e. if I didn't attend the shower I'd give a $100 gift at the wedding; if I attend the shower I'd give a $25 gift at the shower and a $75 gift at the wedding.
  • VA - Gifts for both. Off registry for shower and cash/check for the wedding.

    Now if your in the bridal party - would you still give 100+ as the wedding gift??

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  • imageEstwd2:
    From CT originally. Gift at shower. Cash gift at wedding.

    I am from PA and this is what we do 

    same!

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