I haven't been on this board for a while.....I have a 3 year old DD and a 6 week old DS. Today, I had to go to the doctor for my post-partum check. MIL and FIL are at our house and said no problem, they'll watch the kids while I'm at the doctor. They also asked me to stop by the grocery store on the way home to get a few things for dinner, I said ok, no problem. I EBF, so I pumped this morning, and left the bottle for ILs to give to him. I showed ILs where the bottle was in the fridge, and told them approximately what time DS will probably want to eat. I ended up having to wait an extra 20 min. at the Dr.'s office, and the grocery store was busy, so I was later than I thought I would be getting home. I go in the house, and DS is SCREAMING, and MIL is holding him. She tells me she doesn't know what his problem is, she can't put him down without him crying, etc. So, I asked her if he ate and she said no. UMMMMM, he was supposed to eat an hour ago! So, I tell her he's hungry and I said something about he was probably hungry since 4:30. And MIL, says, "Oh you don't have to feed babies EXACTLY according to the clock. Give or take a few minutes is ok." Ummmm, but if he's showing signs of being hungry, WHY WOULDN'T YOU FEED HIM???? Now, I'm all mad again because DH came home from work, and MIL immediately starts in on him with, oh, your son is too spoiled, I couldn't put him down without him crying, you need to fix this, etc. I've never done this before in front of my ILs, but I totally interrupted her and said, "DH. It's because he didn't eat."
Here's the kicker: MIL is a NICU nurse. Apparently, I just stupidly assumed she'd be able to take care of my infant for several hours.
Re: I'm furious
Started TTC Nov. 2011
1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d
yes, but her baby isn't in the NICU.... He is a thriving baby whose weight is not of concern right now, so that's not the same thing at all. MIL is correct that baby doesn't need to be fed by the clock, but OP is also right that baby should be fed according to his hunger cues, which MIL obviously ignored.
OP, I say if you're not comfortable leaving DS with th in laws anymore, than don't! However,I agree with rcantor that it's better not to dwell on this too much or bring it up in front of DH over and over.
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I'd be upset, but I'd talk to them about how its really important to me that they follow my instructions when they watch my child. Nothing irritates me more than when a caregiver doesn't follow the instructions. I'm not saying they have to do it to the letter but anyone with common sense knows that a newborn that is screaming its head off most likely needs food.
Seriously, what happened to the common sense check list? You know, warm/cold? Wet/dirty? Fed? Its THREE steps, FFS. When in doubt offer a bottle and see if the kid will take it. I just don't understand these people.
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