Pre-School and Daycare
Mrs.RockyM
member
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Late night accidents
Mrs.RockyM
member
In addition to the recent behavior issues and trouble with listening, DD has started to wake up in the middle of the night to pee, or has had accidents. This happened 3 times over the weekend. Anyone else experience anything similar? She's been potty trained well over 2 years now.
Think maybe they could all be related?
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Re: Late night accidents
I read your earlier post as well. I would suspect that all these things are related, and that she's just reacting to the changes in the world around her as well as her own growth and development. First I'll address the behavior thing, then the bedwetting at the bottom. This is long, but I've really walked a mile in your shoes, and I have some hints I think will help you.
I think the key to dealing with these regressions is consistency on your part. Of course, being really consistent with your older child when the new baby is born is hard. But if your tickers are right, you've probably got a window of 3 months in which the little one is at a more mellow phase (not an infant, not yet a toddler) where you can focus on the older one and her issues for a bit.
Develop consistent routines and procedures wherever you can in your day. Examine your routine and get back to the basics. It's easy to let things get disorganized when you're dealing with 2 kids and working. I've been there!
Get up at the same time, use the same routine for picking out clothes and getting dressed each day, eat breakfast in the same place and time frame each day, Whenever you can, limit choices and make things non-negotiable. For instance, in the morning, make her get dressed, pee, and brush teeth BEFORE she eats breakfast and/or watches tv. This way, you're not bugging her to get dressed.
If she is misbehaving at home, this is not the time to give dozens of warnings before you take action. That just makes her feel less secure. Let's say you have a rule about jumping on the couch. One day, she stands up on the couch and jumps. Give her one reminder/warning and tell her that if she can either sit on the couch nicely or jump on the floor. (Notice you didn't say "no" to jumping; you just told her where she CAN jump!) It doesn't work. She jumps on the couch anyway -- no discussion, she's on the floor. If she's upset and cries, tough. If she has a tantrum on the floor, ignore it. If she climbs back on the couch, she's out of the living room entirely. Remind her that it was HER choice to break the rules. Tell her that when she calms down she can come back and try the couch again. Give her 4 or 5 minutes and then let her go back with a reminder. She sits nicely, give a low-key compliment and then move on. Rinse. Repeat as needed.
With her adjustment to the new baby, you may be feeling like she needs extra compassion and extra mercy. But what feels like compassion to you seems like chaos to her. If you tell her no jumping on the couch, and then let her continue to jump while you ask her repeatedly to get down, she will feel like you are powerless. She doesn't need a powerless mom right now. She needs a powerFUL mom who can keep the universe -- starting with her -- together.
This is the way children think!
If you can, meet with the teachers in person or by phone. Enlist their help in keeping things clear and consistent for your child. Ask if they have any suggestions about what might work better at home.
In 2 weeks you can majorly turn things around with the behavior.
Now -- more about the bedwetting. I'm the mom of a kid who has an inherited tendency to wet the bed, so I've dealt with this a lot. Even if your DD has never wet the bed at night before, kids can go through growth spurts where their bladder lags behind and they can be more prone to wetting at night. But in your DD's case, I'd guess that it's stress. Don't worry too much about the accidents -- don't scold her and don't dwell on it. Kids don't do this out of spite, even if they're acting out and being naughty during the day. Offer her the chance to help you clean up the sheets and pjs. Ask whether she'd like to use a waterproof pad on the bed or wear a pull up. Let her decide and respect her choice. Limit fluids after dinner and have her pee 2x before bed. If she's still having accidents in 2 months, consult the pediatrician to rule out a physical problem.
Hang in there, Mama!