MIL making me overwhelmed

kellangston55 · June 2013

So I am due 9/23/13 and my MIL is asking me to take a road trip the 2nd week in October from Phx, AZ to Las Cruces, NM to visit my husbands grandmother. She is fairly older (somewhere in her mid 80s) and this will be her first great-grandchild. She is not sick, but one never knows when one will pass. They are afraid that she will never meet our LO. I tried to tell my husband that a 5-6 hour road trip will turn to be a 10hour road trip and not a very pleasant one. He thinks everything will be ok and that it will be worth it. I don't want to feel like a B, but I'm just not feeling a long road trip with a two-week old. Any thoughts?

smariev15065 · June 2013

When my DD was 3 weeks old we went to the beach. A 12 hour drive. All she did was sleep and eat. We stopped every 3 hours to stretch her legs and take her out of the seat for a bit. But it was a great trip an she is a great traveler still. I would ask your doctor but ours said it was fine to travel. Good luck.

bexsd · June 2013

You also have no idea how YOU will be recovery-wise. I think a tentative answer is more than reasonable.

EMLYNNLERETTE · June 2013

I did make a long trip around that time with DD and honestly it was so much easier than it would have been later! Newborns sleep a lot, it could really work to your advantage to just get it over with. BUT, I would make flexible plans if any since you never know when baby makes their appearance. You don't want to sit in the car that long with a sore bum.

katiezab · June 2013

Well, is there another time you can go, like Thanksgiving maybe, or some time before Christmas? I would try to do that, but otherwise say that you will have to play it by ear as you have never had a baby before and aren't sure how a trip will be or how either of you will be feeling. The baby will probably just sleep the whole way, you'll probably just need to stop twice to feed and change. But you don't know how you will feel or how your own recovery will be. Or if something goes less than smoothly during delivery or you go past your due date. There is a lot of uncertainty around the time one is having a baby!!

AshlynBlake · June 2013

I did a 8-9 hr trip with both DS1 and DD 2 weeks PP and had csections

It was fine. We spent 2-3 days with great-grandparents

No extra time on the trip, we normally stop 2-3 times and we did that again.

revlaurawittman · June 2013

We made a 10 hour trip to Florida not long after DS was born so he could meet his great grandmother. She had been in bad health though and died about six months later. I was so glad that we made the trip. Of course it was about a month after he was born so I had plenty of recovery time. It was a long drive, but it was really easy to travel with him at that age because he slept most of the time.

LCass · June 2013

I agree about travelling being easier when they're younger and sleep a lot. That said, not every newborn sleeps a lot and you don't know yet if you'll be dealing with things like reflux, etc. If the idea of going that soon after baby arrives is overwhelming to you, I'd suggest you compromise with your MIL and your H and say you'll go end of Oct/beginning of Nov instead. Generally, things get easier with a baby around 6 weeks (after growth spurts, your hormones have calmed down, you've gotten used to your baby, etc.), but they still sleep a lot at that stage. Since great grandma isn't sick, there's no major rush, but of course at that age you don't want to wait too long. And you can always re-evaluate once baby comes, and go earlier if great grandma takes a turn for the worse or baby is super easy.

cookie2279 · June 2013

I agree with everyone about travelling being "easier" when they are younger, BUT it takes a lot longer, especially if you are breastfeeding. We took a trip at 4 weeks with my son that usually took us 4 hours and it probably took us 5 1/2 or so because we had to stop to nurse, change diapers, etc. Also, I had a c-section, and I know at two weeks there is no way in hell i would have taken that trip. I was just still very uncomfortable and being cramped in a car would have been miserable. Just my two cents. I would make tentative plans only, and yes, I think you're right to be annoyed by this request from your MIL. A few more weeks would be more considerate of her.

lesleyb · June 2013

2 weeks does not give you much time to catch up on sleep and recover. 2 weeks after my dd my stitches from where I tore were just starting to feel better but sitting a long time definitely would not have been comfortable.

RunningGal900 · June 2013

At 2 weeks I was still too swollen and sore to imagine sitting in a car that long! I'd agree to play it by ear, but don't commit to anything.

TheLittlestDiva · June 2013

FTM, so I can't speak directly from personal experience, but I am part of a large extended family, so I can relate not only to the sense of familial obligation, but have several friends/cousins who have had a similar dilemma. While the road trip itself may not be a problem the timing is a little too close for comfort. 2 weeks from an arbitrary due date (unless you are a scheduled C-section) isn't a good calculation. If the trip is that important to MIL and DH, ask them to plan for at least 4 weeks later, and see how you are feeling. It is a mix of tradition, superstition, and doctor's advice, but most gals in my family don't let the baby leave the house for the first 2 weeks, much less haul them in the car for an extended amount of time. And while I am sure your husband thinks it will be "Ok," and "worth it," (and I'm not really even arguing that being a possibility), you won't know if you can handle it until the baby is here. You will need your rest, too :-) If you feel like you can make the trip, perhaps tell them how excited you are to do so, but not in that specific window of time. That also gives baby a little more time to build up her immunity, become alert, and transition into that adorable stage that follows that newborn "you wouldn't believe the day I've had" look.

Best of luck, friend!

MIL making me overwhelmed

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