January 2013 Moms
goocran7
member
I need some supportVent!
goocran7
member
My cousin watches DD once a week. Let me start off by saying she's the family drama queen. Usually we all just ignore her when she's on a roll but now she's gone way too far. Her and a few other family members have been pressuring me to start cereal as early as 4 weeks! I told them I discussed it with the pedi and did the research and had decided to skip cereal and wait on solids until she seemed ready. They think I'm crazy and the doctors don't know anything. Last Thursday she texted me saying she had bought some food to have for DD the next day. I politely told her to hold off as we were slowly introducing solids in a certain order to keep on top of any allergies or bad reactions. She said she got applesauce and there was no way she would be allergic.
Fast forward to Friday night. She posted on FB asking everyone's advice on when to start solids. Some agreed with her and some thought later was better. I didn't plan to comment until she wrote that my pedi told me I couldn't start until 6 months and she was crazy. Also that my baby was hungry and should be fed! I commented and clarified what my pedi really said and that I hoped my family would respect my parenting decisions. She then started texting me nonstop about how bad of a parent I am and how my whole family thinks I'm starving my child. Long story short I told her she didn't have to agree with me but she had to respect my decision or she would no longer be able to watch her. Then she sent me a video of her feeding DD against my wishes!!!
I thought we had settled it but tonight she started again and said I wasn't ready to be a mother and it was a pitiful shame that I'm harming her by being selfish and not feeding her and that my whole family agrees with her! I have never been so hurt in my life. There's a lot more she said that I don't have room to type Please tell me I'm not crazy for starting slow on solids and skipping cereal.
Fast forward to Friday night. She posted on FB asking everyone's advice on when to start solids. Some agreed with her and some thought later was better. I didn't plan to comment until she wrote that my pedi told me I couldn't start until 6 months and she was crazy. Also that my baby was hungry and should be fed! I commented and clarified what my pedi really said and that I hoped my family would respect my parenting decisions. She then started texting me nonstop about how bad of a parent I am and how my whole family thinks I'm starving my child. Long story short I told her she didn't have to agree with me but she had to respect my decision or she would no longer be able to watch her. Then she sent me a video of her feeding DD against my wishes!!!
I thought we had settled it but tonight she started again and said I wasn't ready to be a mother and it was a pitiful shame that I'm harming her by being selfish and not feeding her and that my whole family agrees with her! I have never been so hurt in my life. There's a lot more she said that I don't have room to type Please tell me I'm not crazy for starting slow on solids and skipping cereal.
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Re: I need some supportVent!
All of this, and I will even argue that you should not have to back up your decision. You are the parent and it's your family's problem if they don't like your decisions. You don't owe them an explanation.
I'm so shocked and hurt for you. I can't believe anyone would do this to a cousin...I hope you find a good replacement childcare person, and I'd make it known to everyone who participated in the drama that they are "on watch" with LO.
And how hard is it to google "when should baby start solids?" and see that the recommendation of pediatricians is 6 months? If this woman thinks doctors are quacks, she shouldn't be left with an infant.
2nd of all how rude of her to post your business on Facebook! Crazy.
We are totally skipping cereal too by the way. My sister is a peditrician and supports that decision and that we're waiting until 6 months.
Sorry she's such a pain and it may be time to start new child care!
[Insert shocked face here]
She way, waaaaay crossed the line. If it were me she would not be watching my child again. I would never be comfortable with someone providing care for my child that goes against my wishes that way. Also, I would be mad as hell.
And no, you're not crazy. Not only that, even IF the recommended time to start was earlier (it's not) it's YOUR child and YOUR decision to make. This might be a different issue if a decision you were making was putting your child in harm's way, but something like this? WTF?
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You are absolutely correct that it is your decision when your DD can start solids. I would not allow your cousin to watch her EVER again and I would also inform the family if they do not respect your wishes they will not be allowed to be alone with your DD every again. I would be livid if that ever happened....you are not crazy, you are not starving your baby....she took something away from you that you will never get back...your DD's first bite of food. I'd be sooooooo angry.
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I'm so sorry you are going through all this.
When I explain my reasons to them they think I'm nuts because they fed us cereal and we turned out ok. I try to point out how many more kids have severe allergies, diabetes, and obesity issues but they just don't get it. When I ask why they are so adamant I start now they say "we did it" and "she's hungry". Well, give her more formula! How hard is that?
Thanks for letting me vent!
PS I love seeing all your LO's on Instagram!
Oh my blood is boiling and it is not even my child!!!! What she did is was extremely disrespect full no matter what her thoughts are that is your child. I would definatly not let her watch you LO. I can't even imagine what I would do in this situation - it would not be pleasant and I am very peaceful person but a hug line was just crossed. I did start my LO on solids at 4.5 months but that was my decision - she took that decision away from you. You obviously know you are not starving your child - milk provides the primary nutrition until 1 year. Oh my you are a better women than me. I hope you get this resolved soon.
Oh my goodness, this pains me to read this! I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Shame on your family for not supporting and loving you the way a family should!
Stick to your intuitions and research and stand up for what you know is right for your baby girl. She looks like she is doing great with what you have been doing. I hope you have good luck finding a respectable new daycare option for her!
Good luck, and know that I'm thinking about you! :-)
I hate this line of reasoning. Just because I slept on my tummy and didn't die of SIDS doesn't mean that we should do it with DD. You are completely justified. If it was me, heads would be rolling.