Angry at my c section.

Moosemonkey · June 2013

My LO was born via emergency c section. For the first time today I'm angry about it. I was okay with it all along because even though I had wanted a med free birth, she came out how she needed, and is healthy.

Dh and I had always wanted kids really close together, like we only wanted to wait like six months before trying again. My doctor told me today that we have to wait at least a year before trying again. It means ill be 30 before trying again, and 31 before I have another assuming we get pregnant right away. While that's not terrible, it pushes out any other kids even further, and we want a housefull.

I'm suddenly so angry at my body's failure to progress, and my blood pressure.

annagrya · June 2013

I understand. I had an unplanned c/s and it bugs me that we have to wait a year and the decision to rcs or vbac is already weighing on me. I'm still under 30 so I can't sympathize there but it is frustrating to be limited,

Kashy · June 2013

I'm not sure why being 30/31 when you have your next LO limits the amount of kids you have really. 30 is not that old.

I'll be 30 in 11 days and we are planning on at least 2 more. I dunno maybe it's because I'm pretty much 30 and don't feel like that is too old...

fancefpp · June 2013

I wouldn't worry too much about it yet. I'm 35, just had my second csection and plan in having another.

I know a woman who has five kids, five csections and had last kid at 38

LC827 · June 2013

I was angry too, only because I wasn't prepared for how dependent I would be on others at first like my husband and the nurses at the hospital because of all the pain.

However, as for your age, count your blessings. Due to the age I met my husband and issues with infertility, I just had my first baby, via unplanned csection, and I turn 40 in two months. Like you, I also wanted to have my next baby right away and don't want to wait the year because then I'll be almost 41 and just starting to try, and hoping that we don't have all the infertility crap again. So I actually view you as lucky that you're only 30.

kmcd23 · June 2013

I'm with you, though I've angry and sad since the day of surgery. At 35 and diabetic, this really puts our chances for another into question.

jedimindtrick · June 2013

You're not too old. I'm 32 and DH is 42. We had an emergency csection too, and will probably have another. A year is not too long to wait. That will put your LOs around 2 years apart, which I think is a great gap. I understand you being upset but don't get too discouraged. You have plenty of time.

rmcseattle · June 2013

I'm 31 and had an unplanned c-section too. For the first two weeks I cried nonstop due to not being able to move or get out of bed as quickly as I wanted. The first two nights at the hospital DH did everything, which was hard to watch because I felt like I should be changing and swaddling my son. You are still young and a year will go by so quickly, I personally think 30's are perfect timing:)

jesselayne8 · June 2013

Hugs it's normal to need time to grieve the loss of your ideal birth experience. Give yourself some time to heal physically and emotionally.

I was very depressed over my first csection. I cried everyday for at least a month. I got pregnant again after 8.5 months and was very hopeful for a VBAC. While my trial of labor ended in another csection, my second labor experience was very different from my first with no interventions aka "my ideal labor experience". It was very healing for me and I am now at peace with both my csections.
My dr only wanted me to wait 6 months before getting pregnant again even for a VBAC. You could always get a second opinion. [in no way am I saying to go against medical advice]

caden1206 · June 2013

You had an emergency csection...there was obviously an emergency and you are very fortunate to have a healthy daughter. Try and focus on the positives. You might want to see your doctor for potential PPD too. Birthing babies rarely goes as planned and being angry can lead to further depression. Please seek help soon and prayers you start to feel better, appreciate the miracle you have now, and are able to focus on today rather than tomorrow. Ladies, your babies aren't going to be this little forever. You don't want to waste it wondering what if.

Blueyed228 · June 2013

Were there some complications with the c-section or something?

bumpuser5125333 · June 2013

Blueyed228:
Were there some complications with the csection or something?

No silly. She is mad she is going to be Oldy Magoo for her next kid.

tilsonc · June 2013

I had just turned 31 with LO. 30 is the new 20. You will be okay.

rsage53 · June 2013

Really? Life must go perfectly for you all the time if this makes you that angry.

Moosemonkey · June 2013

MommyLizzy:
I won't be able to try for another till I'm 35 if that, because I have cancer. Waiting a year is not the end of the world. And 31 is not old.

Thank you for the perspective. Not that everyone else didn't have excellent points, but this is definitely the one that hit home.

And no Blue, there weren't any complications with the section itself, but the section was done in part because of a pretty severe uteran infection, so the waiting period isn't something my doctor will entertain reducing.

Blueyed228 · June 2013

PetraStonegirl:
JohnsonShmonson:
Blueyed228:
Were there some complications with the csection or something?
No silly. She is mad she is going to be Oldy Magoo for her next kid.
Hmm... I'm 43, finally had #1. We were being forced to wait a year to do a double transfer of the other two embryos, so we could be done when I turned 45. Placenta accreta, so now the double transfer is down to a single. So, 47 to finish?
I guess I'm older than dirt.
Good times.

Not to mention that the CDC suggests waiting at least 18 months between kids even if you had a vag birth.

There was a study that said women who got pregnant within 6 months had a 30-40% chance of preemies. So there is that.

Mommy2CB · June 2013

I think even with a vaginal delivery waiting til 1 year is safest, right? In the grand scheme of things I don't think 6 months will really make that much of a difference. .. And 30 is still young you have plenty of time! I understand your frustration though.

mommatotwo2 · June 2013

Blueyed228:
PetraStonegirl:
JohnsonShmonson:
Blueyed228:
Were there some complications with the csection or something?
No silly. She is mad she is going to be Oldy Magoo for her next kid.
Hmm... I'm 43, finally had #1. We were being forced to wait a year to do a double transfer of the other two embryos, so we could be done when I turned 45. Placenta accreta, so now the double transfer is down to a single. So, 47 to finish?
I guess I'm older than dirt.
Good times.
Not to mention that the CDC suggests waiting at least 18 months between kids even if you had a vag birth.
There was a study that said women who got pregnant within 6 months had a 30-40% chance of preemies. So there is that.

My OB also mentioned to me after my first, that we should wait a minimum of 22 months in between pregnancies, because there is apparently a higher risk of PPD having them closer together.

Angry at my c section.

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