Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

How happy is your one-year old?

For the last month my son has just been a crab and seems to have gotten worse in the last two weeks.  He either cries or whines 98% of the time and truly feel I am not exaggerating.  We try everything...water, milk, food, cuddles, toys, books, different rooms, outside, inside, stroller ride, acting silly.  It will work for maybe a minute then he is back to crying or fake crying/whining. This usually involves full body planking as well. 

He is sleeping normal and enough (12 at night, 2 hrs of naps on avg), not sick, eating and drinking well. Everything is seemingly normal except his mood.  He did get his bottom molars about two weeks ago so I thought it was that but even now that they are in he hasn't become happier.  Also, he is happy at daycare and only seems to be unhappy at home and on the weekends.

I brought this up at my 1-yr appt with our pedi and she just explained it is the age and can be many things that he doesn't know how to express and according to his check up didn't feel there were any areas of concern with his health or development. She did say that I should come back/call in a couple of weeks if things don't seem to improve and we could talk again.

Long story short..I'm a FTM...is this normal/just the age?  Or does this seem off to you?  Something obvious I am missing here?  Frankly, I am becoming depressed and anxious about it and feel guilty because a lot of the time I don't enjoy my son and feel like a bad mom. I don't take it out on him, but find myself down, anxious and snappy with my DH as a result.

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Re: How happy is your one-year old?

  • I'm sorry you are feeling that way.  I'm sure its not anything you are doing or not doing.  I would do what your pedi says and go back in.  Also, check his gums to see if it looks like he is getting in any more teeth.  My DD is horrible when she is teething.  ANYTHING will make her cry.  Maybe your pedi will have some good advice when you go back in.  I think it's normal that your DS is happy when at daycare and cranky at home.  DD is like that too.  When she is really cranky I usually can't wait to get her out of the house because I know she will be distracted by all other things happening.  Daycare has different toys and other kids to keep him occupied.   
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  • J234J234 member

    imagebeth2882:
    I would do what your pedi says and go back in.  Also, check his gums to see if it looks like he is getting in any more teeth.  My DD is horrible when she is teething.  ANYTHING will make her cry.  Maybe your pedi will have some good advice when you go back in.  I think it's normal that your DS is happy when at daycare and cranky at home.  DD is like that too.  When she is really cranky I usually can't wait to get her out of the house because I know she will be distracted by all other things happening.  Daycare has different toys and other kids to keep him occupied.   

    I agree.  My LO was pretty cranky at home for a few months.  The molars took forever to come through!   Also we went through an "I don't want to eat" phase...  due to teething. 

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  • Young children cry about EVERYTHING and it doesn't end for a very long time.  First, it's because they can't properly communicate their needs and then become frustrated when you can't figure out what they want in that millisecond.  Then, it's because they want what they want now, now, NOW!  Right now with our 3 y/o every little thing warrants a meltdown.  "I don't want to wear that shiiiiiiirt!"  "But I want to talk louuuuuuuud!"

    So what I'm trying to say is don't freak out too much.  The toddler phase has serious ups and downs.  During the weekday your DS is super stimulated at DC and he's being taught to share, self-control, etc.  Once he gets home for the day he needs to unwind and let go and that usually results in meltdowns.  Also keep in mind that we all are at our worst with the people we love because we know that no matter what they will still love us regardless of our behavior.  Your child trusts that you love him despite the fact that he always seems pissed off.

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  • I'm relieved to read that I'm not the only one who experienced this around the 1 year mark. The past month or so has been really hard. Full of crying, whining and tantrums. My son has been clingier and much less independent than he usually is. I'm attributing most of it to Wonder Weeks, but he also learned how to walk and I believe his molars are working their way up. 

    That said, this past week has been much better. There's still a bit of crankiness, but he seems mostly back to normal with the exception of the sleep issue mentioned in my post above. Hopefully it's just a normal phase and things will chill out for a little while. 

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  • Have you seen "Reasons Why My Son Is Crying?" It's hilarious! Kids this age seem to get worked up about every little thing. My son is the same way, however I feel like his "happy meter" is generally pretty high regardless. I think you just have to gauge their overall mood throughout the day, and how quickly they get over whatever upsets them. I don't know where you are with the molar situation but that can also make them super cranky. I'm sorry you're going through a tough spot but to you're not alone!

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  • those molars are no joke, I bet that has something to do with it.  My son was a mess when he got them and they took forever to come in.

    also keep in mind, toddlers are always the worst behaved for their moms.  It drives me nuts that our babysitter and anyone else who watches him goes on and on that he is so good and never whines, etc. and for me I have days with him where he whines alllllllllll day long.   

    Hang in there, this too shall pass!! 

  • DS is only 11 months but he has been like that for 10 days now, so I'm glad to know i'm not alone. He seems perfectly happy at DC and I watch him all the time on webcam, but as soon as we get home, he is super cranky. He is ok for the first 30 minutes of dinner and still likes his bath; but otherwise he is whining. It is driving me insane! And like you, I feel guilty that I kind of dread the weekends.

     We try to set up play dates and go to new places on the weekends - usually that helps. 

  • Wow, OP, I am so in this boat with you minus the molars and DC! I finally realized that DS started getting crabbier when we switched to WCM. I think he's just still getting used to having harder poops. (Sorry to be crude, but I don't know how else to say it!) Anyway, despite wanting to avoid the unnecessary sugars in juice, I finally relented and started giving him watered down pear juice a few times a day. He's not having such a hard time going now, and it has eased up his mood a lot. He still has some great tantrums, but the respite from constant all day fits is nice. Other things that almost always help: walking him around in his Cozy Coupe, letting him stand in the back of Daddy's truck, and taking a bath. In fact, he likes the bathtub so much that I think I'm going to mix up some fingerpaint and let that be a midday activity for him a few times  a week.
                 

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  • imagedanslilgrizzly:

    I'm relieved to read that I'm not the only one who experienced this around the 1 year mark. The past month or so has been really hard. Full of crying, whining and tantrums. My son has been clingier and much less independent than he usually is. I'm attributing most of it to Wonder Weeks, but he also learned how to walk and I believe his molars are working their way up. 

    all this, except no walking here yet. He seems to act up even more when I'm at work in the evening and he is home with DH. We had a pedi appointment on Thursday and they said his premolars are probably working their way up because his gums looked swollen. I also wondered about a Wonder Weeks leap and sure enough, when I read about this age, the children and actions described sounded just like DS. So you're definitely not alone!

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  • Does he talk yet or know any signs?  DD is so much happier now that she can communicate with us.  She only cries when we don't understand what she is trying to tell us.  She nods yes/no, signs more, all done, and has free run of the main living areas of the house where all her toys and books are in reach.  She can also go to her highchair or the pantry to tell me when she is hungry (if I haven't offered), get her own diaper when she needs to be changed and get her shoes when she wants to go outside.  Being able to communicate their needs and wants (or satisfy themselves) makes them so much happier.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • salt78salt78 member
    Definitely take a look at Wonder Weeks. There is a leap right around that time. DD was a due date baby and her leaps have been like clockwork. I totally buy into it. :)
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  • imagetraveltheworld:

    DS is only 11 months but he has been like that for 10 days now, so I'm glad to know i'm not alone. He seems perfectly happy at DC and I watch him all the time on webcam, but as soon as we get home, he is super cranky. He is ok for the first 30 minutes of dinner and still likes his bath; but otherwise he is whining. It is driving me insane! And like you, I feel guilty that I kind of dread the weekends.

     We try to set up play dates and go to new places on the weekends - usually that helps. 

    this, exactly! 

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  • LO had a couple pretty bad weeks just recently. This week, he went back to his happy self. He had 5 teeth coming in, including a molar! They just showed up one day! I guess that kind of explained why he would be so cranky. I don't know if that was the only reason why he was so unhappy but he is fine now. Hoping it will pass soon for you too.

     

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    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


  • DS goes through phases like this too. He can be sooooo cranky for a few days, and then be back to his happy self. Hang in there!
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


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