Hi Guys, I havnt posted in while. But i feel like i have no one to talk to. Its been a struggle and a blessing having my beautiful DD. From having a rush c section ( that i feel like i had no say-because me n baby was fine with no complication) to post recovery (took over 2 months to heal) to back to work, then losing my job, now on the job hunt again, its all a bit over whelming.
I dont feel complete because i KNOW & wanted so bad to push my baby. my doctor & nurses didnt give me any options like i been seeing them give to other girls & friend who's had baby after me. I also feel like an emotional rack (can this be post hormonal?)
My DD is now 14weeks. I love her deeply. My SO tells me, my family n his family repeatedly that he does not want no more kids. But i want another. I really wanna try for my son. I really dont think its fair that he's not listening to my side of the story. I also wnt to experience a natural birth. I really really want the experience of pushing a baby. I dont want to have or try for another baby now, but i was thinking 5 yrs from now.
I just dont know who else to talk to. Mayb its just the hormons playing with my head :-S
Re: Not feeling complete
August '16-January '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI/TI = BFN
February/March '17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = BFN
April '17: Menopur + HCG + TI (due to too many mature follicles) = BFN
May '17: Took off due to cysts
June' 17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = Cancelled due to 8+ mature follicles
November '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI= BFN
December '17: Menopur + HCG + TI= BFP!!!! Due August 2018
I am sorry you feel that way.
Don't worry about another baby just yet since you want to wait 5 years. Work on one thing at a time. Hang in there and like the pp said don't be afraid to get help.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. A lot of people don't understand the loss we feel of not having a vaginal birth. Yes, my DD and I came out healthy from it, but to me my c section and my daughter are 2 completely different processes, if that makes any sense. I really like this article:
https://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/emotional_impact.asp
I just had my VBAC on March 12th and it was such a healing experience for me. Hopefully you and your SO can decide on when/if to add to your family. Give him. some time for now. Your baby is still so small. Good luck!!