DH and I have travelled to Mexico and several other Central American countries multiple times in the past, I have gone several times on my own, and I speak decent Spanish. We enjoy it. We have only ever gone in the summer because I teach and that is the only time I am off. Our families would have a fit if we missed the holidays in favor of traveling, fine, I get that, never mind flights are absolutely atrocious in the winter. My parents were extremely vocal about us not taking DD to Mexico last summer when she was itty bitty, but we got her a passport this year and are looking for a trip in August. My mom just asked me to watch her dog several weekends in August and September and I said that's fine, but at some point I am going on vacation and I haven't chosen the weeks yet. If these dates don't work, I will let you know right away. Immediately she wants to know where we are going and I told her we are probably going to Mexico. Silence. Dead silence. Eventually she starts talking and asks questions and I explain where and why and point out that we clearly can't go when it's cooler since I will be working. We don't have a lot of interest in paying through the nose to travel to a the east coast to go to the beach. We like Mexico.
So she calls this morning and tells me not to get mad, but asks if we are going to Mexico to prove something. What?? I assure her that is not the case, we simply enjoy vacationing there. I then asked her when I would be allowed in her mind to leave the country with my child. She said she didn't know. Well fan-flipping-tastic. I told her DD is not the last child we plan to have and that I do not plan on spending the next decade in the US just because I had children. She continued on about how we should be able to find a nice resort around here we could go to. I told her we aren't interested right now, but we are definitely not trying to prove something.
I am dumb-founded. Am I wrong here? Am I suddenly only aloud to travel in the continental US because I had kids? And no, she's not offering to take DD so we can travel on our own. She believes in family vacations, meaning my vacations should be 'family-friendly' from here on out and she will not take the kids for more than about 12 hours at a time overnight.
Re: Am I out of line?
I think you handled the situation well. While her intentions are good (concern for safety, blah blah) she is over-stepping bounds IMO. Do what you want. She had the chance to raise kids and travel as she saw fit, this is your family.
ETA: We took DD to Mexico earlier this year, Cozumel to be exact. It was awesome and we never ran into any problems.
My mom would say the same thing. She gets mad when we go to Disney World a lot ("the kids need more culture"). So we're going to California this summer and she's making comments about DD being too little for the drive and she should stay with her. Heck no.
Go and have a good time - and if you can, keep the pregnancy a secret until you get back to cut down on the drama .
Yeah.......I kind of agree with this.
My MIL would be exactly the same if we were taking DD to Mexico. I've traveled there many times, completely love the country, and feel safe there, but she's never been and has heard all these horror stories... She was very against BIL & SIL going there on their honeymoon, so I'm pretty sure if we took DD she'd lapse into a coma. Whatever - we're not going to live our lives around her paranoia.
Go. Go, and have a wonderful time. I think it's wonderful that you'll be raising your DD with an exposure to different cultures and languages
Yep, also from Southern California and I have no interest in going as well.
We live in Texas and the travel across the border isn't what it used to be.
Quite often they're in impoverished areas. they will guard themselves for obvious reasons, but do nothing at all to help the local economy. I know my mom went once (in Puerto Rico) and said it was really weird to go through these horribly impoverished areas, which weren't helped at all economically by the resort, to be pampered and sheltered from local language, culture, cuisine, etc. I've also heard that employees are often overworked and underpaid, but since they have few other options they need to stay and are subject to employment practices that would not be tolerated in the US.
All of this. I live in CA and we used to travel to Mexico twice a year. Right now though, I wouldn't go at all especially not with my kid.
I think it depends where in Mexico you're talking about. Quintana Roo? Sure. Juarez? No way. It's a big country, much like this one, and the violence is not country wide. There are plenty of places in the US I wouldn't want to take my children, same as Mexico.
FWIW, I did take my 4 and not quite 6 year old to Mexico earlier this year. We rented a house and a car, drove around, etc. No resort. It was totally fine, and they did get the exposure to another culture in addition to an awesome vacation.
In terms of not doing any international travel at all with kids, that's just silly. Now that my kids are old enough to start appreciating it, we plan to include them on all of our trips. I've been to lots of 3rd world countries, and I'd take my kids to all of them as long as we took proper precautions for safety, food, etc. It's important to DH and me to see the world, and to have them see it, too.
Well, your mom is definitely the one who is out of line by the way she was speaking to you. Sounds like something my MIL would do. So no, I don't think you are out of line.
That being said, I also would not travel to Mexico, either just DH and I or with kids. The violence in the country and toward tourists has progressively gotten worse over the few years. And it's not just in the areas where crime is normally bad, but now is bleeding into the touristy areas. Stories of tourists being robbed in Puerto Vallarta, kidnappings, ect. I'm usually not an alarmist, but yeah....not going to Mexico any time soon. But again, that's just me.
Took the words right out of my mouth. I have never wanted to travel to Mexico.