Come in, bedsharers.
wifeofadam
member
Anyone else still bedsharing? How's your nighttime sleep going?
DD goes down to bed with me at 8:00 and she wakes between 2-4 times a night to nurse. Every once in a while I have a night where she only wakes once, but that is really rare.
I'm worrying she's starting to create a nurse-to-sleep habit and when she wakes it's the only thing that will comfort her. I'm fine with it for now, but IME, after a few months of this it creates a nasty habit and I end up waking every hour to get her back to bed. I'm thinking I might introduce a lovie of some kind to help. Anyone else going through this and have any ideas?
Also, how are your naps going? DD still naps on me. I'm fine with it, because I enjoy the break. She usually gets one short nap in the morning and a few little ones here and there. She gets one 2.5-3 hour nap in my arms in the afternoon while my older kids are napping. That's about it.
Just curious how everyone else is doing (if anyone else is still bedsharing).
Re: Come in, bedsharers.
Caleb falls asleep in the living room around 6:00, waking to eat a few times. Then I take him to bed with me when I go. He generally once wakes once or not at all after that. We get up at 6:30 for the day. He wakes up about 5:30/6:00 to eat, but goes back down and I don't really wake up.
Naps are not so cool. I don't know how to fix it. He sleeps ON me. I've been transferring him to the pack n play. Sometimes he'll stay asleep for hours and sometimes his little eyes pop right open and we start all over again. I'm hoping he can be trained to sleep in the pack n play or crib this week for naps. I plan on putting some effort into it.
As far as nursing to sleep - C sometimes does and sometimes I have to pat his back and hum a song until he falls asleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and I don't think he's hungry, I just pat his back and he goes back down.
Sounds similar to our situation, adamwife. He's too big to nap on me for the most part, but won't sleep unless I'm right there, so I end up laying down with him. Honestly, considering the frequency of his naps, I'm getting really tired of it, but I'm not sure what to do. Maybe he'll stop napping so much soon. He seriously can't be awake for more than 1.5 hours (and usually half that) before he's sleepy/cranky... then naps last 45-60 minutes, with one big 3-4 hour one in the afternoon. During his big nap, I can sometimes sneak away for a bit and let him nap on his own, but not always with much success.
He still wakes frequently at night to nurse. We were getting a good 3-4 hour stretch before his first waking, but the past few nights it's been every 1.5 to 2 hours. He only *really* wakes up if he poops, and if I keep it dark, I can usually get him back to sleep after changing his diaper.
So, I'm in a similar boat.
Adamwife, our situations are similar.
DD starts to get pretty tired around 5pm or 6. We do lots of feeding and napping with awake times interspersed. Around 8pm I get her in her ON diaper and nurse her to sleep. If I am lucky I can sneak off to have a bit of me time (I know, hilarious that I am still trying to get that in!) Sometimes I might have to come back and nurse her down again if she wakes up. (here's where a paci would come in handy)
Around 10:30 I go to bed and nurse her back to sleep b/c our bed is creaky and it unsettles her. She eats in her sleep ON but doesn't wake up.
Sometime near 7am she wakes up and poops and then after her change she either starts babbling (which could last up to 40 minutes) or nurses back to sleep until 9am or 10. Depending, I either get to sleep in or I get up for the day at 7.
She takes her longest nap after breakfast. On me. If I get up and put her down, she wakes (I've remembered to swaddle her before and that helped keep her down for 15 or 20 minutes instead of popping right up). So I don't bother planning anything until 11/12 -ish unless it is unavoidable. And then I have an overtired baby.
Most days she takes shorter naps on me or in the car if we are going somewhere and I can get things done during the hours of 11-5. Her napping on me is like a break so its okay, but sometimes I wish I could put her down and keep going.
Then at 5 or 6 we start the cycle over again.
We're just coming out of a growth spurt and she seems to be falling right back into the above routine.
So far it has been once or twice since her second week of life that I have been able to rock her to sleep but she does fall asleep on walks or in the car. Most of the time, though, she falls asleep nursing.
She has adopted her father's old lovie blanket and likes to suck on it. She has also found her fingers. These are no sub for nursing when it comes to falling asleep though.
I am scared my AF will come back if I introduce a paci or that I will get lax and use it too often (that is if she even accepts it)! It just feels like it might help me to get stuff done or catch a break but that it complicates things and is one more thing for me to think about.
At this point I am still going with the wait-and-see approach but I am glad you started this thread b/c I wanted to know what other bedsharing/nursing moms were doing.
ETA: added ON info
He then wakes up around 6 and nurses again.
Nap time is never in the same place. Sometimes on me, sometimes in my bed or his crib or the swing.
Sill bedsharing here. No idea how things are going or what to expect going forward.
DS was in his crib from day one. Has always been a fab sleeper, and still is even in his own room in his big boy bed.
DD was very little at birth so, we moved her straight into our bed to help keep her warm and there she has stayed. We also EBF her, whereas DS was FF during the night and EFF from about 4 months old.
Routine wise - we break the mould I think. Both kids go down late as it suits our lifestyle. DS is down anywhere from 11pm, to 12:30 on weekends, and DD joins me in bed around then too. She will feed and nurse to sleep initially and I put her in her "bed" next to me at about 01:30. She still wakes about every 3 hrs but will feed and then turn away when she is full, so I can put her back on her part of the bed after every feed.
Our morning starts at about 10:30 - 11am when I get DS up. DD will nap roughly 3 times during the day, usually in her swing, but sometimes on DH. She isnt fussy and sleeps well.
I?m not sure about moving her into the crib as I hope to EBF for as long as possible and I like the ease of having her beside me in the bed for NTF. When she drops those then we shall see about her going into her crib.
I feel like Ive fought so long and hard to establish my milk supply that, having her in bed with me and her nursing to sleep occasionally, is actually something I?m really happy to be able to experience.
I didn?t manage to do it with DS, and although we would like more children, DD could well be our last as we have sadly agreed to wait a few years til TTC again, which will make me 40 years old :-(
Mom to 3 wonderful boys( 6, 4, 20 months), and one little lady ( born 2/17).
DD won't have anything to do with a paci. All of my other babies were the same way, although I did have luck with two of them when I tried again for night weaning at a much older age. DD1 didn't start taking a paci until she was almost a year old and it worked to help make her naps consistent.
I'm also scared of my babies developing a paci habit at this ago because as PP mentioned, it may make me fertile again. Since my family doesn't use any form of birth control as a back-up, nursing is what I rely on to prevent pregnancy at this point. It works well for us (I know it doesn't for everyone and isn't completely reliable). The thought of getting pregnant again with #5 right now is kind of terrifying, to be honest.
It's good to hear that others are in the same situation - although not good for us, I guess. I've done all of this before and it always plays out the same. By 9-10 months I am so exhausted that I feel like I am dying and I swear that if I ever have another baby I will not develop these bad sleeping habits with it. Yet here I sit once again...
I love the nighttime snuggles and I am glad that we bedshare. I'm not even that worried about the naps, because as another poster said, it forces me to slow down and get some rest myself. It's a nice reason to take a nap and not feel guilty about it, because it's FOR THE BABY
I am tethered to the baby at night right now, but that's OK for now. I'm so exhausted at the end of the day that I am happy to go to bed at 8:00. I just don't want to be her pacifier. I swore I wouldn't let this happen with another baby. I feel like I need to nip this in the bud now before it gets worse.
This will be a P and R because I'm at work, but I'm confused. I am totally NOT saying this in a snarky way, just truly curious; if you have this problem with every baby, why do you continue to bed share? Is it just because of the birth control thing? I just can't fathom a situation where I'd rather bed share and be a human pacifier than get decent sleep every night. DD didn't want a paci either, but I could not stand being her pacifier. I'm not wired that way. So we just kept trying and eventually she took one, and now loves it. I haven't gotten my period yet either.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
Our girl goes to sleep for the night between 10 and 11 pm, usually. Then she'll sleep through the night and generally wakes up around 7-8am. I change her and feed her and she goes back to sleep for 45 minutes to 2 hours depending on how much she slept during the night.
We get up and she goes in her swing and plays while I make breakfast and go online, and she usually falls asleep for 30-60 minutes.
During the day when she naps and we are at home, she falls asleep on my shoulder if I know she's tired, or on the boppy if she goes to sleep right after eating. After a few minutes I bring her up and gently place her in her crib. She will nap in her crib from 20-60 minutes, usually 20-45 minutes. She naps in her crib 2-4 times a day.
At night I try to feed her in the living room and have her go to sleep on the boppy. It doesn't always work. Sometimes I have to feed her in bed, and sometimes she'll fall asleep on me 60-90 minutes after she eats and she'll sleep through the night. Last night I fed her, and burped her and gave her the pacifier after that. She just hung out in the bed with us until she got quiet and went to sleep.
Same here. DS1 was a pacifier junky. DS2 won't take one at all. I have 5 different brands and it's not happening. We started when he was 2 days old offering one. It is what it is. Sometimes he'll suck his fingers, but not usually.
This wasn't directed at me, but I'm weighing in.
Even though DS2 is a better sleeper than DS1 was, we also are running into the same nap issues. I said when I had a 2nd child, I was going to do it differently this time, but I haven't! Bedsharing makes breastfeeding sooo much easier and personally, even though he eats half the night sometimes, I'm still getting more sleep than if I was up every time he woke to eat. And even though sometimes it's annoying or exhausting to be a pacifier at naptime, I get to cuddle a sweet baby. And they don't want to nurse all day and sleep on you forever. In fact, it really won't last long at all in the grand scheme of things. One day in the not so distant future I will miss it very much and I don't want to look back and wish I had spent more time holding my baby. I don't think I'll ever say I spent too much time holding him! My older one was on me constantly too and now he's a very happy, independent kid.
I can't quote right now, but for PP - Why do I continue to bedshare? For several reasons. It pretty much makes everything else easier. It allows me to not have to get out of bed at all through the night during feedings. The ONLY downside I've ever had to it is that it can create a nurse-to-sleep association. I feel like other than that, it makes my life a lot easier and allows me to get more sleep than the alternative - running to the crib every couple of hours to sit up and nurse.
To be completely honest, it's probably part laziness. In the short-term, bedsharing is easy for me, even if I know down the road it will create problems for me as it has with all of my other babies. But in the moment, when it's 2 AM and you're exhausted and you know you have a full day tomorrow of dealing with little kids, it's just much easier to pull the baby into bed and try to shut your eyes while she is nursing. Most days my life feels like it's just about survival and whatever will get me the most sleep is what I gravitate towards.
I think that I could cut these bad habits out with some sleep training, but I am also unable to do that. Every time I've tried with my small babies I have failed - and I've tried just about every method. It just doesn't work for me and feels very unnatural. You talked about not being wired a certain way and I'm just not wired to let my baby CIO and that's what it would take to get them not to want to nurse (IME).
FWIW, this isn't the only parenting thing that I've said "I'm never going to do that again" and ended up doing it with every single kid because it's just easier for me and seems to be my parenting style. People just tend to default to what seems to be natural for them, I guess.
Oh, and as far as the PP periods go. The paci may not cause you to start your period yet, because your LO is still nursing so much through the day. But as you introduce solids and your LO nurses less during the day, if your baby isn't nursing at all through the night and instead using the paci for that comfort sucking, your period is likely to return. The more they stay at the breast, the more likely it is that your period won't return.
We tried a million paci's to no avail(sp?). None of my kids liked them, and I had no problem giving them.
This is us too. I happen to like bedsharing but I feel like we SHOULD be transitioning to the crib. It actually works better for us right now. LO's routine is different 2 nights a week b/c dh doesn't have a functioning boob and must get him to sleep another way.By the time I'm done working for the week dh and I are exhausted and easily fall back into the nurse to sleep at a decent hour routine instead of trying to wean him from the bed. Poor dh is exhausted today because LO did not go to sleep until midnight and then I got home an hour later(which wakes dh) and then he has to work early in the morning.
I am a paci sometimes but as long as this paci gets to sleep at the same time then great. Most of the time LO naps in his swing while I clean or exercise so he does sleep elsewhere.
We use the arms reach mini cosleeper and I feel it is the best of both worlds. My DD is EBF but does take a paci. She wakes to eat 1-2 times a night. She also naps there. I love that thing...especially that she is right beside me but in her own little space
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
This is probably a stupid question, but will he not sleep on his back? That would make me a nervous wreck!
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
I totally understand. My DD is same way. She is still swaddled and I put a rice sock on either side of her to prevent rolling. Without the swaddle she jerks awake too. However, she is starting to bust out of the miracle blanket when she wakes up....I dread unswaddling her when the time comes. She sleeps great swaddled. How she will ever sleep unswaddled I have no idea!
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
we still bedshare but...i think it might be time to try and transition. i'm not really emotionally ready to, but physically things are starting to reach a breaking point.
we've got a pretty large baby...17.2 lbs, 26.5 inches long and he can already roll from tummy to back AND back to tummy...and he can sort of do this unintentional army crawl kind of thing. basically, he's mobile. not really deliberately mobile yet but still. he's also a major bed hog and i have back problems that are starting to flare up from being more and more constricted in my sleeping position due to his size and movement. my husband is basically hanging off his side of the bed at night now, too.
i'm very nervous/hesitant because baby has always slept through the night...like...literally since day 3 or 4 and i'm concerned that will end if he's not in the bed with us. especially since in the morning, i usually flip him over once dad gets up for the day to go to work and i get another 1-2 hours out of him on his stomach and occasionally patting him on the butt.
he starts off the evening in the crib and then we move him to our bed when we go to sleep, so it will be pretty easy to just not bring him in with us...but i'm worried he'll start waking up in the middle of the night when he didn't previously.
maybe we can set up a pack n' play in the bedroom to see how it goes with him sleeping elsewhere but still in the same room? i dunno, i'm rambling!