Mobile: WWPD? My kid embarrassed the hell out of me
Today at the grocery store there was a heavy man checking out in the lane next to us. DS turned to me and said "Mama, why does that man have a big belly?" I imagine this is carry over thinking from ME having a big belly and it being the point of many conversations. I tried to quickly distract him and hoped the man didn't hear him. I told him to help Daddy load up the belt with groceries and he was distracted for a minute. Then he LOUDLY made his observation again and I'm sure the guy must have heard him. DS is only 3 and I know he wasn't making fun of the man or trying to be hurtful but I wasn't sure what to say or do.
Re: WWPD? My kid embarrassed the hell out of me
It's tough at this age. Their questions come out of pure curiosity and innocence. We were at a restaurant with DD1 when she was that age and she asked the waitress why her teeth were yellow. Fortunately the waitress was gracious and laughed about it and said something about how being a smoker makes your teeth yellow. I think people in general are understanding. Afterwards in private we had a conversation about why it is rude to comment on other people's appearances.
ETA: So basically Ditto Fredalina..;)
I'm on team "some people have bigger bellies" / "people come in all different shapes and sizes."
Sorry she caught you off-guard, though. Hopefully the guy understood kids don't know any better.
This. DS1 has made some inappropriate remarks before and in the moment I just kind of brush it off with a quick "because everyone is different" kind of explanation. I haven't done any further explanation about manners or politeness yet because I don't think he would get it but as he gets older I probably would if necessary.
Oh, I'm sure I'll need to get used to it but this was the first time and I was totally caught off guard, which is why I wanted to see what the norm is on handling this. In the moment I was afraid that acknowledging what he'd said would lead to more questions but yes, he just asked again :-/
Anyway.. I guess the best thing you can do is say "We all come in different shapes and sizes" and then address it once you get in the car.
I would be mortified.
This exactly. It's something you just have to reinforce over & over- they're not being hurtful, they're being factual and they will learn over time what is socially appropriate. btw, once I was at Wal-mart & was bent over getting something when I heard my 3yo say (loudly) "WOW- look at that BIG woman!" I didn't want to stand up, I was horrified. When I turned around it was a super tall woman that she was commenting on. I was somewhat relieved that it wasn't someone obese, honestly. I just said, "Yep, she's very tall! We're all different sizes aren't we?" and moved on. My blood ran cold for a minute though...
My son has told strangers about his big penis. More than once.
He also told the teenage male grocery clerk that "mommy has a vuh GI na.
My little brother, when he was about 4, apparently pointed to a lady in a restaurant who happened to have a large chest, and said VERY loudly "Mommy, that lady has BIG private parts!!"
Kids are awesome.
One of my friend's sons saw the same head garment on several ladies & shouted "Look mom- Ninjas!!" My friend wanted to D.I.E. I still start chuckling out loud whenever I think about it & it's been years ago...
I know it must have felt rotten at the moment. I think most of us have been there. DS (soon to be 5 yrs) is very intrested in how old people are and asks my grandmother (who is in her 90s and still very glamorous- don't ask my age- where is my lipstick) how old she is.
I might have said something along the lines of "Why are your legs sooo long?" (ds has very long legs) and maybe followed up with his eyes being a different color than DH. In private I might have followed up with further explanation of appropriate times/people to discuss certain things-possible ways it may affect someone when we comment on their appearance and maybe even the different ways people get big tummies.
Regarding the women in headscarves I probably would have said "Those are really pretty, aren't they? I think that type of headdress is called a hijab or veil, but I'm not sure. Some women wear head scarves for fun- like the ones I wear. Some women choose to wear a headscarf for cultural reasons. Since I don't know that much about it let's google it when we get home. I'd like to know more too."
I keep a list of questions I don't know the answer to on my phone "notepad" and then we google them while he is getting ready for bed. I have learned a lot this way and it gives me a little wiggle room when he asks a tricky question that I'm not sure how to answer. He is young enough that I can easily filter which answers and how much of those answers he gets. I guess I'll have to refine this process as he gets older.