Stay at Home Moms

Re: (Untitled)

  • imageHav=Fath:
    I do all the time, I push kids on the swing when their parents aren't around, I'll help them onto a slide if they ask. Honestly around here, that's just the normal thing to do, you'd be an sass-jerk if you saw a kid that needed/wanted help and didn't help.

    This. 


     

  • imageHav=Fath:
    I do all the time, I push kids on the swing when their parents aren't around, I'll help them onto a slide if they ask. Honestly around here, that's just the normal thing to do, you'd be an sassjerk if you saw a kid that needed/wanted help and didn't help.

    I agree, help is one thing, but I just wouldn't take it upon myself to pick a kid up and put them on a piece of equipment without the parents permission.
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  • Perhaps. I'm in NY if that helps lol. I'm not one of those super paranoid, hovering moms either, but in the time I have been bringing lo to the park, no one has ever done this nor have I seen it done by any other parents. When dd's friend was on the swing, her gma asked me if she could put my dd on the swing. If Dh was there, he would have had a panick attack, but his parents were that way with him too lol.
  • imageHav=Fath:
    I do all the time, I push kids on the swing when their parents aren't around, I'll help them onto a slide if they ask. Honestly around here, that's just the normal thing to do, you'd be an asssjerk if you saw a kid that needed/wanted help and didn't help.

    This. I live on small town USA in the Midwest so I think it is pretty normal around here.
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  • If he was assisting her at a play place/structure then I don't see anything wrong with it. I was at a play place once with DD and there was a dad in the play structure helping his kid through it and he helped DD by lifting her up to the next level. You could tell he was a little hesitant at first, but I had no problem with it and thanked him for helping her when they got out.
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  • If I was busy with my other child or something and it wasn't that they were being put on play equipment that was too "old" for them, I would not have an issue.  And I live in NY :)  I have definitely helped kids before...well, except for the kids that look too little with the mom not paying attention on her phone.  I just want that kid to keep bothering her for help.  Ha.
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  • id012id012 member
    I help out if i see the need. If she was struggling to get up the stairs to the slide id probably watch to make sure she didnt fall. I dont know if i would pick her up off the ground to put her on.
    A couple weeks ago we were all at the park and one of my friends kids was trying to climb one of those ladder things that are cruved. He was way to small to be attempting that and the part you put ur feet on are really far apart. I was chatting with said friend so we werent paying good attention until we saw him almost fall and ran over quickly.
    Some bitchy mom was right there ans watched the whole thing and didnt even flinch. And the laughed when my friend caught him falling off a 5 foot high ladder.
    I was pissed. Like seriously wtf. Of course friend should have been paying more attention but she wasnt. You just going to watch and let a kid fall bc his mom sucked for 2 mins? I thought that was really shittty
  • kmc217kmc217 member

    As a rule probably not, but Massachusetts isn't the friendliest state!

    BUT we were at the park the other day and my DD2 took it upon herself to climb really high up this ladder thingy and then get stuck and yell for me to get her down. This dad who was playing with his DD nearby had literally just heard me tell her I couldn't pick her up to put in a bucket swing (bc I have cracked ribs and am 9 mo pregnant!) automatically reached over and grabbed her down for me and I thought nothing of it other than being very appreciative. So maybe it is situational for me? 

     

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  • imageCourt0026:
    If I was busy with my other child or something and it wasn't that they were being put on play equipment that was too "old" for them, I would not have an issue.  And I live in NY :)  I have definitely helped kids before...well, except for the kids that look too little with the mom not paying attention on her phone.  I just want that kid to keep bothering her for help.  Ha.

    I live in a small area but I don't always. I'm not necessarily worried about getting sued but most of the time it's little kids seeing me play with N while their parents ignore them. N is still little enough she needs help climbing and I need to see her. If the parent is busy with another kid and particularly if I know them I'll jump in and help for sure. I'm just not playing babysitter to someone's kid because they're not involved. I've also run into some older kids who I (for the most part) know or know their parents and the beg to push N on the swings or catch her at the bottom of the slide and I let them.


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  • Yes, people do it all the time around here. One of the things about living in Mayberry. I wouldn't automatically expect even man to be a child molesting pervert either, so maybe there's that as well.
  • I have and would. I live in suburban Metro Detroit.
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  • DochasDochas member
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.
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  • imagekmc217:

    As a rule probably not, but Massachusetts isn't the friendliest state!

    BUT we were at the park the other day and my DD2 took it upon herself to climb really high up this ladder thingy and then get stuck and yell for me to get her down. This dad who was playing with his DD nearby had literally just heard me tell her I couldn't pick her up to put in a bucket swing (bc I have cracked ribs and am 9 mo pregnant!) automatically reached over and grabbed her down for me and I thought nothing of it other than being very appreciative. So maybe it is situational for me? 

    I am also from MA.  I help kids at the playground.  I have seen other Moms help children that are not their own. 

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  • Yes, I would.  Probably not if the kid didn't seem like they were wanting on the slide or asked though...  But, yes, I have helped other people's kids on and off playground equipment.  I've also broken up fights and told other people's kids not to throw the ball at the babies in the sandbox, etc.  The playground is basically "all hands on deck" around here.  And I think kids sense I'm a school teacher because they literally seek me out at the park to ask for stuff.  I'm like, "Where is your mother?" :)  We live in the suburbs too though in a state where people are generally friendly and view parenting from a "it takes a village" perspective.  I wouldn't think twice of it if another parent helped my kid up on the slide, or if they told my kid to quit doing something he shouldn't be doing.

     

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  • I wouldn't think anything of it.  I've done similar.  

    At first I thought maybe your baby was toddeling around and someone just picked him up for a snuggle or something.  That would be weird.  But assisting on play equipment?  Totally normal.  I love it when I feel like all the parents are (to some extent) keeping an eye on all the kids.  Not that I expect other people to watch my kids for me, but you know, they just move so fast and it's reassuring when I feel like there are many eyes looking out for signs of danger.  Especially now that I have 2 kids and my focus is divided. 

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  • I don't think it is a big deal. I will help a small child anywhere. I don't care if someone helps DS. I think you are being overly paranoid. 
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  • I'm hesitant to touch other people's kids because you never know how they're going to take it. I don't have a  problem with a normal-looking adult helping mine, though.
  • It depends what they're doing.  I'm totally of the philosophy that at the playground if the kids can't do it by themselves, they shouldn't be doing it.  My kids are know this is the rule, so I'm not thrilled when some other adults helps them do something not age appropriate.  So I generally won't help other kids unless it's a safety issue or I've seen the grown up their with help them do the same thing.
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  • If a kid asks for help to get into the equipment (and it is age apropiate) I do it; a few times other people have helped DS and I've never thought twice about it
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  • Sure I'm aways willing to help a kid if they need/want it. 
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  • imageMrs.Hizzo:
    I'm hesitant to touch other people's kids because you never know how they're going to take it. I don't have a  problem with a normal-looking adult helping mine, though.

    This. The other moms at the park we frequent don't even look at me let alone smile or say hi, so I'm hesitant to touch their kids. I need to find a nicer park.

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  • imageLove My Lil Princess 509:
    imageHav=Fath:
    I do all the time, I push kids on the swing when their parents aren't around, I'll help them onto a slide if they ask. Honestly around here, that's just the normal thing to do, you'd be an sassjerk if you saw a kid that needed/wanted help and didn't help.
    I agree, help is one thing, but I just wouldn't take it upon myself to pick a kid up and put them on a piece of equipment without the parents permission.

    If a kid needs a hand or help getting up somewhere and the parent isn't around, I would lift them up. Unless they looked too little to go up or down something. I dunno, I wouldn't panic about it, at any rate. 

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  • imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 


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  • imageHav=Fath:

    imageariel06:
    It depends what they're doing.  I'm totally of the philosophy that at the playground if the kids can't do it by themselves, they shouldn't be doing it.  My kids are know this is the rule, so I'm not thrilled when some other adults helps them do something not age appropriate.  So I generally won't help other kids unless it's a safety issue or I've seen the grown up their with help them do the same thing.

    Meh, Hadley has just started climbing so while she loved to go down the slide the poor kid couldn't get up there without help. She was totally old enough to slide or be on the structure, she just couldn't figure out the logistics. 

    Yeah, N can't climb up to the slide by herself but she LOVES sliding. "Side, side" she begs when we see one or anything that resembles a slide. She needs help getting up but going down is no problem.

    The same with swings. She can't get into the swing by herself but she likes swinging once I get here there. Actually, DH even hold her up to the monkey bars and  she likes to pretend to use them.

    If I didn't help her at the park the only thing she would be able to do is play in the sandbox and chase the other kids. We might as well not even go in that case.


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  • imageLatteLady5:

    imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 

    Why? I really don't understand why it is weirder for a man to help a child than it is for a woman to help a child.

  • imageLatteLady5:
    imageHav=Fath:

    imageariel06:
    It depends what they're doing.  I'm totally of the philosophy that at the playground if the kids can't do it by themselves, they shouldn't be doing it.  My kids are know this is the rule, so I'm not thrilled when some other adults helps them do something not age appropriate.  So I generally won't help other kids unless it's a safety issue or I've seen the grown up their with help them do the same thing.

    Meh, Hadley has just started climbing so while she loved to go down the slide the poor kid couldn't get up there without help. She was totally old enough to slide or be on the structure, she just couldn't figure out the logistics. 

    Yeah, N can't climb up to the slide by herself but she LOVES sliding. "Side, side" she begs when we see one or anything that resembles a slide. She needs help getting up but going down is no problem.

    The same with swings. She can't get into the swing by herself but she likes swinging once I get here there. Actually, DH even hold her up to the monkey bars and  she likes to pretend to use them.

    If I didn't help her at the park the only thing she would be able to do is play in the sandbox and chase the other kids. We might as well not even go in that case.

    Yes, there is a learning curve to some things. So I am not sure I agree with the "if they can't do it alone, they shouldn't do it" philosophy.
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  • imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:

    imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 

    Why? I really don't understand why it is weirder for a man to help a child than it is for a woman to help a child.

    It's not. That's the point. To be especially concerned because it's a dad that helping and not a mom is weird.


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  • imageLatteLady5:
    imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:

    imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 

    Why? I really don't understand why it is weirder for a man to help a child than it is for a woman to help a child.

    It's not. That's the point. To be especially concerned because it's a dad that helping and not a mom is weird.

    Ahh, I misread.

  • imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:
    imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:

    imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 

    Why? I really don't understand why it is weirder for a man to help a child than it is for a woman to help a child.

    It's not. That's the point. To be especially concerned because it's a dad that helping and not a mom is weird.

    Ahh, I misread.

    Yeah I was halfway through a response when I realized what it actually said. LOL 

  • DochasDochas member
    I'm not very eloquent today! lol
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  • imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:
    imageMinipenguin:
    imageLatteLady5:

    imageDochas:
    I can see you being a little bit taken aback but absolutely NOT especially since it was a guy.

    I really hope most people agree with this. 

    Why? I really don't understand why it is weirder for a man to help a child than it is for a woman to help a child.

    It's not. That's the point. To be especially concerned because it's a dad that helping and not a mom is weird.

    Ahh, I misread.

    I figured since we were both saying the same thing Wink

     


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  • Interesting. I think there is a stigma about this sort of thing, especially around here. I don't think recent events plastered all over the media helps either. My dad loves kids, so I wouldn't blink an eye at it. If someone seems sketchy then I might say something sure. I can see why other people would be uncomfortable though. I will have to ask my husband what he thinks later.
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  • I push other kids on the swings all the time! Never thought twice about it. And I've often seen other people pushing my kids. With 3 kids under 6 I appreciate the help! And in NYC there was generally the same geniality at the playgrounds, at least in my neighborhood and Central Park.

    I've never picked up another kid to put them on equipment, but mostly because I don't pick my own kids up for that after they can walk. I figure that if they can't get on themselves they aren't ready for that piece of equipment (I will assist with a very few things, but generally not) and redirect them elsewhere. 

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  • I think it's weird and yes, I would be upset if a random person but my child up on a slide. My DD is really cautious and may not have even wanted to be on the slide.

    On the other hand, if someone is just helping with a kid who's stuck or something, I think that is OK.

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  • imageHav=Fath:
    I do all the time, I push kids on the swing when their parents aren't around, I'll help them onto a slide if they ask. Honestly around here, that's just the normal thing to do, you'd be an asss-jerk if you saw a kid that needed/wanted help and didn't help.

    This. Word for word.

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  • Sure. It happens all the time here. I put kids in swings when they ask, push them in swings, help them if they get stuck, etc. I always ask the kid if they want me to pick them up/help them, and I look for a parent quickly first, but honestly I see it as no big deal at all. I'm surprised others think it is...

    I only get annoyed at other parents who intervene/try to help my child without being asked and because they assume he is too young/can't do it. Drives me nuts!

    Oh, and I am in MA, too. Where I live we are very friendly, lol, and it's the city!
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  • Where I live it's very six degrees of separation, so it wouldn't bother me.
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