October 2012 Moms
stephcarter
member
Counseling...
stephcarter
member
I know a few of you on here have gone to or are currently going to marriage counseling. Do you think it helps? I don't know what else to do anymore. I feel like I'm at my breaking point with him. It's so up and down and I just can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted.
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Re: Counseling...
My thoughts are you should try everything you can to save your marriage. That way in the end if it just doesn't work out you can know you tried your best.
We have gone now to help us deal w the crazy issues we have w SD's biomom and it's been great.
Counseling in general can be very helpful with the right counselor (which is paramount -- don't be afraid to switch counselors if you don't like your first). The key is that you're both willing and open to change. Advice and criticism is sometimes hard to hear. So both of you need to be open to the idea of counseling, or it won't work.
Other than that, I can only offer hugs. Sooo, I offer up big creepy Internet hugs.
I agree with all of this. I don't really have advice regarding the counseling but my husband and I went through a rough patch two years before we had Viv and I thought there was no hope at one point. We were able to work it out on our own and things are great. I don't know your situation, but if you think it's worth saving, then I believe in putting forth every effort in doing so. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Big hugs, Candace.
Just wanted to throw a random note out there, StephCarter, to say that I feel a kinship with you because I assume your name is Stephanie, and mine is too.
Also, your baby is, like, the most adorable baby ever.
So...I hope you and your husband find success in marital counseling. Keep us updated!
What kills me is that he really thinks that nothing is wrong. But maybe that's because I don't say or do things that make him feel horrible. I love him, and I believe he loves me, but he makes me feel worthless, neglected, rejected, just horrible. And I'm not even sure he does it intentionally, but it happens a lot. After 8 years of it, I'm just torn apart.
And Zieg, yay for another Steph. And thanks!
Counseling is still worth a try. But in my experience, you only get what you give in the self-improvement category. A good friend of mine is in marriage counseling with her husband, and she says it's not going well because he "doesn't like being told how to be married." If he's too stubborn to budge, you might just find it incredibly frustrating. But who knows, the right counselor might be able to get through to him. The emotions you say you are feeling as a result of his behavior are serious and need to be addressed. Nobody -- especially not your husband and partner in life -- should make you feel that way.
Yes
That's what makes it so hard. I feel like he's the one person who should be making me feel good about myself. I told him I wish he would be more affectionate towards me in the little bit of time we get together and his response was, "we aren't kids". Maybe I'm too needy but I feel like he isn't around a lot and a hug isn't that much to ask for sometimes.
We argue and then the next day he acts like nothing happened. My brain doesn't work like that.
That makes total sense Brea!! I never really thought about it like that. Maybe I need to focus more on myself in general. I give and I give and I give. Maybe that's part of the problem.
I thought about trying to find someone to talk to about PPD because at one point I felt like I was going crazy. I would literally freak out whenever Bailey wouldn't nap. But now she goes down a little better so I feel much better.
Wish therapy wasnt so expensive. Sending some hugs back to you!!