Stay at Home Moms

Is preschool necessary?

mobile:  Is preschool necessary?

So I have been working on school related work with Alex (7) and Taylor (5).  I am very disappointed with Taylor's teacher that she did not learn more.  She had minimal exposure to preschool activities prior to the school year.  Post school year, she could not identify all of her letters.  They didn't even touch on lower case letters at all.  So, after a week of working about an hour a day, I think she has letters down and is able to identify and write the smaller sight words.

I realize as Mom it is my job to work on school related stuff too even though I didn't.  This really makes me think that I can work on this stuff with Dylan and not send her to preschool.

Do you feel after a year of preschool they should know all of their letters?
Do you think that all kids should go to preschool?

Re: Is preschool necessary?

  • I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skills-those are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
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  • I would think so, if only for socialization and to learn classroom behavior.
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  • Depends on the preschool and it's philosophy. Our preschool really doesn't do much with letters/numbers. It's play-based, and more concerned with preparing kids socially rather than academically. They pretty much assume that you'll take care of the academic stuff at home, or else the kids will learn it in kindergarten. I still think it's incredibly valuable, year after year different kindergarten teachers comment to parents how kids from our school always come in so well-prepared (and they don't mean anything about knowing letters).
  • imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skills-those are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
    Yes! I agree this is the main purpose of preschool. The academics is an added bonus. I was not at all happy with what DD did not learn in pre-k. So I found a different and better pre-k for J. If I were you I would find a new preschool.
  • DochasDochas member

    I think most people (teachers, therpaists) agree that 1 year is very important.  Here kindergarten is full day so I don't know if that's an important reason.  I was on the fence about sending our son this fall as he turns 3 in August.  But he needs more socialization than I can give him and, quite frankly, it's easier to go to preschool than to hunt down 5 days of social opportunities for him!

    As far as letters and numbers go - we do that with him.  He loves books so we take that time to "teach" him.  We also have letters and number magnets that he loves to play with.  I would not send him to a preschool that was going to sit him in a chair and make him work on things like that.  Fear of that is one of the reasons I was on the fence about preschool.

    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageI Heart The 80s:
    And also... I need the break. I can't lie.
    Me too!
  • I'm in the minority (I also plan to homeschool, which I know isn't too popular on this board) - but I'd say it depends.

    I think as long as there are other opportunities for socialization it's ok for the parents to work with the children on academics, and then provide those social/play/class setting opportunities elsewhere.  I think homeschooling can be done very well, but I also know (from friends experiences) that it can be done very poorly.  

    I thought this was a really interesting article on well educated/not weird people homeschooling (because I only know a handful of those type of people who do it).

    https://childrensmd.org/uncategorized/why-doctors-and-lawyers-homeschool-their-children-18-reasons-why-we-have-joined-americas-fastest-growing-educational-trend/

     

    SAHM to Eli, born 11.26.11
  • imageAndrewsgal:
    imageI Heart The 80s:
    And also... I need the break. I can't lie.
    Me too!

    Dylan is my last "baby".  I am already going to have adjustment with 2 of the older girls in school all day. 

    We have only sent the others at 4, so I'd still have a year home with her.  I think everyone has valid points.  MIL & I were talking about this the other day so I wanted to get some unbiased opinions.

    I know that my SIL regrets not sending her DD to preschool.

  • imageDiapers&Wipes:
    imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skillsthose are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
    Can I send us off on a small tangent? Can you explain more about rote memorization? When does it go from basic memorization to actual learning? Sorry if this is a dumb question.
    Really rote memorization is the basis of all learning at a young age. I will never understand why people get so riled up about it. Reading in its essence is rote memorization. Comprehension is a totally different issue, but to be able to read words on a a page is rote memorization.
  • imageDiapers&Wipes:
    imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skillsthose are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
    Can I send us off on a small tangent? Can you explain more about rote memorization? When does it go from basic memorization to actual learning? Sorry if this is a dumb question.

    rote memorization is essential for a school age kid who needs to learn to read and do mathematics. For a preschool age kid, skills like gross/fine motor activities, social skills, self help skills, learning to understand and use language appropriately, etc are more important skills than memorizing abc's.  

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  • Academically, I don't think preschool is necessary for kids whose parents are involved and work with them. Many of the studies that show a huge advantage for kids who attend preschool focus on low income and at risk children.

    With the move to full day K, though, I think it's important for kids to have some previous experience in a school environment.

    Edited to actually answer your questions:
    I taught preschool for years. My last classroom was ages 1.5 to 2.5 and kids new most of their letters before leaving, and we were definitely very play based. Yes, I think a 4 year old classroom should have taught them.
    And no, I don't think all kids need to go to preschool, but probably should if they'll be attending a more academic full day K.
    holz

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  • I don't send my kids to preschool to learn academics per se. I send them to learn how to get along with a group of their peers, how to listen to a teacher, how to sit in circle time and how to be away from me. Academics aren't the primary focus of preschool IMO, these other skills are. 

    And yes, I do think preschool is very important. I realize it can be pricey so I understand if a family truly cannot afford it (and by the same token cannot afford to work so their kids can attend because childcare prices are so high) but I think it's a very high priority item, so I forgo many other luxuries in order to send my kids to preschool.

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  • Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    BFP 11/29/11 MC 12/29/11
  • imagepenguingrrl:

    I don't send my kids to preschool to learn academics per se. I send them to learn how to get along with a group of their peers, how to listen to a teacher, how to sit in circle time and how to be away from me. Academics aren't the primary focus of preschool IMO, these other skills are. 

    And yes, I do think preschool is very important. I realize it can be pricey so I understand if a family truly cannot afford it (and by the same token cannot afford to work so their kids can attend because childcare prices are so high) but I think it's a very high priority item, so I forgo many other luxuries in order to send my kids to preschool.

    We live in a LCOL area.  3 mornings a week was $140.  Price is not the issue here.

  • imageKaylaL08:

    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    Where do you live that there are no private preschools? I don't think you have looked hard enough.
  • imageArnegard:
    imagepenguingrrl:

    I don't send my kids to preschool to learn academics per se. I send them to learn how to get along with a group of their peers, how to listen to a teacher, how to sit in circle time and how to be away from me. Academics aren't the primary focus of preschool IMO, these other skills are. 

    And yes, I do think preschool is very important. I realize it can be pricey so I understand if a family truly cannot afford it (and by the same token cannot afford to work so their kids can attend because childcare prices are so high) but I think it's a very high priority item, so I forgo many other luxuries in order to send my kids to preschool.

    We live in a LCOL area.  3 mornings a week was $140.  Price is not the issue here.

    I didn't mean to imply it was an issue in your case, just a reason I've often heard!  And I often hear the "if you can't afford preschool go back to work" argument, which isn't always an option.

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  • I also will never understand people that don't realize that preschool is a lot more than socialization.
  • imageAndrewsgal:
    imageDiapers&Wipes:
    imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skillsthose are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
    Can I send us off on a small tangent? Can you explain more about rote memorization? When does it go from basic memorization to actual learning? Sorry if this is a dumb question.
    Really rote memorization is the basis of all learning at a young age. I will never understand why people get so riled up about it. Reading in its essence is rote memorization. Comprehension is a totally different issue, but to be able to read words on a a page is rote memorization.

    rote memorization doesn't teach a two year old the problem solving skills to build a block tower with larger blocks in bottom or master a puzzle. Those are far more important developmental skills than memorizing the names of shapes. I agree if you're talking about a kindergartner when you're referring to a "young age" that rote memorization is vital-kids do need those skills to learn reading. I do think people get way too hung up on rote memorization with toddlers/preschoolers though. Those skills are unimportant in gauging how a child that age is developing. 

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  • imageamy052006:

    imageAndrewsgal:
    I also will never understand people that don't realize that preschool is a lot more than socialization.

    Define socialization though. I don't think of socialization as just getting along with peers that can be replicated in the sandbox.  

    I am thinking more like "learning the rules of society". 

    i agree with you. I was responding to the poster who said she does not think kids need preschool because she can socialize him. Socialization is way more than a play date where mommy is around.
  • imageAndrewsgal:
    imageamy052006:

    imageAndrewsgal:
    I also will never understand people that don't realize that preschool is a lot more than socialization.

    Define socialization though. I don't think of socialization as just getting along with peers that can be replicated in the sandbox.  

    I am thinking more like "learning the rules of society". 

    i agree with you. I was responding to the poster who said she does not think kids need preschool because she can socialize him. Socialization is way more than a play date where mommy is around.

    agreed.  

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  • imageKaylaL08:

    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    Our kids do not qualify for the public programs, but there are 2 private schools in town with preschool.  Sadly we only have about 2 other options in our town.  If someone wanted to make a mint, they'd open a new preschool.

  • imageAndrewsgal:
    imageKaylaL08:

    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    Where do you live that there are no private preschools? I don't think you have looked hard enough.

    You are probably right. In the next county there are two private schools, but only one with preschool. At this school it's very expensive and there's a waiting list because spots are limited.

    When I was growing up there were a lot of church based preschools. I wouldn't be opposed to that so I might start looking around for one of those. 

    BFP 11/29/11 MC 12/29/11
  • Andrewsgal - I completely agree that socialization is way more than a playdate with mommy around.  That is absolutely NOT my definition of socialization.  
    SAHM to Eli, born 11.26.11
  • imageAndrewsgal:
    imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skills-those are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.
    Yes! I agree this is the main purpose of preschool. The academics is an added bonus. I was not at all happy with what DD did not learn in pre-k. So I found a different and better pre-k for J. If I were you I would find a new preschool.

    This. I also haven't found a school yet that I don't have to do activities at home as well. It's just part of it.  

  • DochasDochas member
    imageAndrewsgal:

    i agree with you. I was responding to the poster who said she does not think kids need preschool because she can socialize him. Socialization is way more than a play date where mommy is around.

    I think there are some kids who need less preschool. The kids who follow the instructions in all the classes, the ones who run when it's time for parachute or circle time.  Who can stand in line for 8 seconds at the register.  I don't have one of those kids.  My son is extremely social and has no trouble separating from me.  But he needs work in the other areas and 'rules of society'.  He also just needs the socialization aspect because he gets so much out of it.  So it's 2 years of preschool for us.  But I think different kids can certainly do well with 1 year.

    The public preschool that I could have tried to get into was 5 mornings and that's just too much.  So we're doing private through a church.  3 mornings a week and it's $265 a month. Ouch.

    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageArnegard:
    imageKaylaL08:

    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    Our kids do not qualify for the public programs, but there are 2 private schools in town with preschool.  Sadly we only have about 2 other options in our town.  If someone wanted to make a mint, they'd open a new preschool.

    The only obvious answer, Preschool-in-a-Box

    https://www.startapreschool.com/freecd/

    Then you could be a SAHM while making a full-time income! haha! 

    BFP 11/29/11 MC 12/29/11
  • I'm definitely in the minority here, but we never did pre-school.  My daughter is in 1st grade now (almost 2nd, just a few weeks left) and IMO, nothing has suffered from the lack of pre-school.  She socializes fine (albeit a little shy, but only when first meeting someone- just like I am), she has MANY friends, behavior in school is fantastic, she's reading on an almost 3rd grade level and has never had any issues, honestly. 

    That said, I definitely believe many kids can benefit from it.

    E+C
    (+ hers and his, ages 13 & 8)
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  • DochasDochas member
    imageamy052006:

    This.

    I think lots of pre-schools are structured a certain way just due to market demand -- people just need those hours of care.  Unfortunately, it has the ripple effect of making longer hours and more days more of the societal norm, to the point if your three year old "only" goes two hours a day for two days a week, they are "behind" to some people.

    Outside of his speech, my two year old is quite the "normal" boy (with evaluated proof - hah!) But at birthday parties and stuff, you can just tell he isn't in daycare. If he doesn't want to sit and play the parachaute game, he just doesn't. Why would he? He doesn't do that shiit forty hours a week. Yet more than one person has remarked on this, always followed with "I am so glad my special snowflake learned that in school".

    Listen, I am glad your kid is magna *** laude at circle time at two, but its not really developmentally appropriate. It obviously doesn't hurt, but its not critical either.

    This is actually a huge beef of mine on the WM board when people talk about how a center is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL for child care because of "socialization". Um, your 18 month old does not need 40+ hours a week of socialization.  Not one piece of child development research back ups that claims.  There are tons of benefits to the daycare center setting, but that one is overblown.

    I so agree.  I kind of liked when he wouldn't do that stuff - because it seemed boring to me too.  Why should I be 'ashamed' at gymboree when they pull out the parachute and he sees the opportunity to have all the other toys to himself. lol And I like that he has down time when he doesn't always have kids in his face and always someone around to occupy him. I wanted him to have as much time as possible to just develop his own personality before having to march to the beat of everyone else's drum.  But when we went to the school and I saw him there - I just know it's time.  He fit right in and he's going to love it.

    And it makes me sad when people now think that they have to send their 18 month old to daycare even though they are staying home because they have become convinced the child needs it.

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  • imageKaylaL08:
    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here.nbsp;In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible.nbsp;
    Same here. We have 1 public preschool, 1 private, and 1 through a church. The public is income based, the private costs more than my mortgage every month, and the church based one has very limited spots. Most people that live around here, sadly, don't send their kids to preschool because the lack of options.

    I just hope when ds is old enough, we'll have more options, because as it stands, he probably won't go.
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  • Where I am, kids start preschool at 2. I honestly never particularly thought about it because it's just what you do. I grew up here and it's what I did.
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  • imageLiz4444:
    Where I am, kids start preschool at 2. I honestly never particularly thought about it because it's just what you do. I grew up here and it's what I did.

    This. It's just what's done here and until I came here I had no idea people didn't all do preschool. 

  • I am so torn on this. I would like DS to go to Preschool purely for social reasons. I think it is a very important age to learn to listen to adults and play/share with children. It helps that it is several times weekly versus a play date here and there.

    The cost is the main factor for me, and the learning issue doesn't even play a part. DS is already fairly good with letters and colors so I doubt that will be an unmet need at 3-4. However, it is always at the back of my mind. DH thinks the cost is unneeded for something like that- It is $170 a month for the 2 day a week morning program here. I would love for him to start next fall, but it probably won't happen. 

    I may start a preschool co-op in the area to have something similar but no cost for parents/families participating (other than materials) to get a similar setting. We'll see!  


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  • imageKaylaL08:

    Ok so I have seen the preschool thing discussed a lot here. 

    In my area all the public preschools are based on income and child's development level. As in, if you are lower income or your child has developmental delays your child can go to preschool. I suppose some day cares probably have preschool style learning but I really haven't looked into it.

    I personally don't think all kids should go to preschool. I do think socialization is important, so maybe find a way to get her interacting with other kids as much as possible. 

    I've already said we're homeschooling but if we weren't our options are limited for preschool. 

    There is a public preschool program that is income based. There are two other church preschools. One with the catholic school and one with the Christian school.

    Most of my friends who are teachers take their kids to pre-k in the neighboring state about 30ish minutes away. There's actually an inhome daycare there that their kiddos go to usually before pre-k. 


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  • DS starts preschool at the end of summer. He already knows all his letters, knows capital vs. lower case, can count to 20, knows tons of shapes (including random ones like a hexagon and octagon) and all sorts of other stuff.

    I'm not sending him to learn academics. I'm sending him to learn how to behave in a classroom, to get used to being away from me, to get some social skills, etc. I was going to wait until 4 to send him but he's been begging to go and with another baby coming I think it will be nice for him to have his thing.

    Long story short, yes, I think preschool is necessary. I don't want K where he is actually required to know XYZ by the end of thr year to move on to first grade should be his first school experience. 


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  • imageDiapers&Wipes:
    KC, why does it have to be one or the other? I can teach my two year old problem solving skills and letters and numbers. I mentioned a few weeks ago that DD came up to me w the letter F and made the f sound. I was impressed. It was unsolicited. I think parents have the right to be excited when their two year old can id letters. I'm also impressed when she puts together a puzzle that we have never seen before or shares without me reminding her. Maybe I'm easily impressed, lol. Sorry I'm really off in a tangent today.

    i never said you should only teach one or the other. Nor did I think that when your kid learns to identify letters is it any less exciting. I just think people focus on those skills and become concerned when they're not doing them when in reality they're not really that critical at that age. A four year old not knowing all their letters isn't cause for concern yet. 

    Shortly before my sons third birthday he was formally assessed by our local elementary school as we wanted to obtain speech services for his articulation issues. The testing to check how he was doing developmentally did not ask him his abc's or how well he knew letters. The only rote memorization question they asked in two hours of testing was about colors. He tested ahead of the curve in cognition/receptive language without knowing his abc's, more than a few shapes, and he only correctly identified three or four colors.  

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  • 2-Step2-Step member
    Totally depends on the family. I didn't go and I thrived in school from day one. My mom was also very patient and took time to teach us things. My brother was reading at age 4, like actually reading real books not just memorized ones. However I think a lot of kids need the socialization and some moms don't want to take the time or have the patience to do the teaching, in which case it is a necessity. I am not patient, I like to play with my kids, so I send them to preschool :) We do some learning activities at home, but I like not feeling like I it's all on me. 
  • imageReadyforbaby77:
    I would think so, if only for socialization and to learn classroom behavior.

    I agree with this 

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  • I believe at least one year of preschool is necessary.  There is so much more to it than learning letters and numbers.  In fact, very few preschools teach in the old school method of learning a letter and number a week.  The instruction is much more play based that works on developing those basic skills that are needed for later.  

    For me, the most important aspect of preschool is learning the rules of school. They need to learn to sit in a circle, walk in line, pay attention to the teacher, share their toys, and cooperate with others.  They need to be able to do all those things without mom's support.  It also gradually prepares children for full day kindergarten, which can be a brutal transition for some students.  At my school, there have to be people specifically assigned to catch the "runners" who escape from the kindergarten classes because it is their first time away from mom.  

    As for those who are saying that they are happy their child is not participating with the rest of the class, and are off doing their own thing, how is that going to help them in a school environment?  Sometimes it is required that students play the parachute game in gym class (boring or not) because it is building gross motor schools and working as a team.  In preschool, children learn that they are not the center of the universe.   


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  • DochasDochas member
    Oh, gosh.  Maybe we should skip preschool then.  Because I wouldn't want him thinking he ISN'T the center of the universe. Surprise
    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageKC_13:
    I don't think preschool has anything to do with basic rote memorization skills-those are pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of preschooler development. It's learning to Socialize without mom or dad, learning classroom routine and learning to listen to an adult outside of family. I think at least one year before kindie should be mandatory if I ruled the world, lol.

    I agree. Our school district has a free public 4K program. I know they covered all the letters and numbers, counting objects, etc, but the most important part was learning some independence and how to behave in a school setting. I don't think DD1 knew any sight words out of 4K. She wasn't reading going into kindergarten but is now reading chapter books at the end of 1st grade. Academically they all catch up.

    My 2 yo just finished her first year of preschool. They went over letters, although I don't think she remembers any. She learned songs, how to play with other kids, helping to clean up, listening to the teacher, etc.

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