It seems like the consensus here is that people make one thing for dinner and that's it, if the kid doesn't eat they can go to bed hungry.
wdyd if what you cooked for dinner is something your kid just doesn't like? If they've given it an honest try, do they not get anything else? Do you only cook things your kid(s) will eat?
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HHHmmmmm....interesting question. This hasn't really arisen yet because DS is so young but I would imagine that, once he can speak, that if he really does try something and truly, honestly, does not like it, that he could have something else. Maybe leftovers or something easy to whip up.
BUT, I think it would depend on the overall situation though, like if he frequently is doing this then I would think he's just being picky as opposed to a one-time thing.
We follow the three servings rule: a main course/protein, a veggie and a starch (bread, rice or pasta or potato).
I have at least one of the servings something the kids will eat , but usually two unless its a casserole type item.
I also make sure that the 4yo's serving sizes are appropriate sizes.
This way she only has to eat 4 small bites of the "new or yucky" food and then has the rest to fill up on. And if she doesnt eat the 'yucky' food, she still has the other items.
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I don't force him to eat food he legitimately doesn't like. He has to try it and if he truly doesn't like it, he can have something else. Usually he'll take several bites before asking for something different. That's good enough for me.
Also if DH and I are really wanting something DS doesn't like I just make him something different and don't even make him try it. Once he's had it enough and won't eat it, I'm fine with not pushing it. There are foods DH and I don't like, why should we not allow DS to develop his own likes/dislikes?
this is the same issue with both our kids-they're pork haters. Maybe they were pigs in a past life or something.lol. I'm kind of conflicted. I agree with the premise that kids should eat what adults eat, but I also don't see the logic in letting my kid go to bed with only low calorie vegetables in his/her belly because they tried something numerous times but genuinely don't like it.
But that's not a full meal you are fixing for him. I'm talking about people making fish for them and then pasta with butter for kids. That's crazy to me.
DD likes all the things I cook, at least the protein part, I don't mind if she doesn't eat the starch/carb that goes with it. I don't replace it. But, I also don't run out and making things I know she won't like, like asian food. If I loved it, I would, but we don't, so we get our fix from the local Thai takeout place...where she will eat Pad Prik Pork.
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My oldest is a great eater, he'll try anything. So if he says he doesn't like something, I know it's really true. I make a point to avoid dishes that he honestly doesn't like. That's not hard, they're few and far between. If I make something new and he doesn't like it, he just fills up on whatever else is being served with the meal. We always have bread and a vegetable, and I know he'll eat those no matter what.
My youngest eats nothing, so I've stopped even considering what he likes, because he never eats anything at dinner, anyway. So he doesn't get a vote.
Both kids are welcome to have milk and a banana between dinner and bedtime. I chose a banana because they'll both eat them, but neither of them really loves them. It's not a food that's worth holding out for, but it's still good for them and gets something in their stomachs if they decide to boycott dinner.
im failing to see the difference in giving a kids snacks when they don't like dinner vs making pasta with butter which requires minimal effort. Aren't you kind of catering either way?
If he really doesn't like what we are having (spicy food, some kind of seafood) or isn't healthy enough for him (chinese take away, crappy fast food burguers and such) we heat up some left overs for him or just make a quick plate of pasta (we always have homemade sauces in the freezer).
He usually also has a piece of fruit after dinner no matter what
well i see there's more cooking involved but I don't really get what the difference is in the eyes of the child. Either way they get something desirable out of not eating dinner.
Personally, I'd rather my kids eat turkey meatloaf when they dont like/cant eat dinner that is nutritionally balanced with fat, protein and vegetables than just a cheese stick. It's pretty quick and painless to warm a frozen slice up. I'm just not sure why making real food is crazy but snacks for dinner are nbd.
this hasn't happened in our house, i have to cook special for DS1 anyway because he struggles to eat, physically. He can't chew a lot of foods etc
Growing up it was dinner or peanut butter sandwich. That was it. No jelly even. My mom always said peanut butter had great fat and protein and bread was some carbs. It didn't matter if we didn't like it, then we could have a pb sandwich. And my mom made A LOT of food I hated because my Dad loved them. I ate alot of peanut butter growing up.
DD got picky about her food around 3, but it was the worst around age 4. That was when we taught her to make her own food. I only prepare one meal. I will help her make something different if she absolutely doesn't like it, and has tried a bite. I always fill her plate with fruits and veggies, so I know she is getting food, but if she doesn't eat the main dish, that is not my problem. At this point, I tell her "I am making salmon tonight," and she will make her own main dish, and then while I am preparing DS's plate, I will give her the sides I prepared to go with the item she won't eat. There are only 5 things DD will absolutely not eat - salmon, shrimp, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, and anything spicy. We occasionally have battles over other foods - like tomatoes, but it depends on the dish.
If I know she will be spending time with my parents during the week, I sometimes wait until my parents take her for the night before making dishes I know she won't like.
DS is 2, and eats almost anything, so, I don't have many issues with him. If he leaves something on his plate, I know the next meal he will eat like a little piggy, but he definately doesn't go hungry.
I always include one or two things that I know he likes. If we're having something totally unfamiliar and he tries it, I'll let him have an alternative, but usually it's something like yogurt or PB toast that I don't have to cook.
But he gets an after dinner snack whether or not he eats dinner, so he usually doesn't go to bed hungry.
If they are just refusing the main meal, they can either just eat whatever else is on the table or wait until their "bedtime snack" which is usually cereal or oatmeal.
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I play it by ear. I never cook two different dinners, whether immediately or after the fact, but if DS gave everything an honest try but just didn't eat enough for my liking, sometimes I will offer a little something else at the table as we're finishing up, like a bowl of applesauce, some cheese etc. This probably happens a few times a month, so it's not like he's taking advantage and knowing he'll get something else if he doesn't eat dinner. He doesn't ask for anything else, either. I do it because it makes me feel better.
IMO only you know your child's eating habits and are the best judge of when to give or not give something else, and what.
ETA: It would be an extreme case where I'd ever actually let my child go to bed hungry. I guess he'd have to really be refusing and manipulating to the max. I know some kids do. I haven't been in that situation with his eating. Thankfully if he doesn't eat dinner well, I can always get something in him before bed without it being a "giving in to his demands" type thing since, like I said, he doesn't even ask for anything else.
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DD is only 5 months old, but I do remember what my parent's did.
They gave me whatever they were eating and if I didn't like it...they would basically force me to eat it or tell me I wasn't get any dessert. So what I did was mash the meatloaf or whatever I didn't like to make it look like I did eat some of it. Or I would put it in a napkin and then act like I needed to use the restroom. I would then flush it down the toilet..... hide the offending vegetable in the glass of milk? Yep, I did that too.
I specifically told my mom that I hated meatloaf and shepherd's pie about a million times. Yet she still made it and forced me to eat the nastiness.
I would just eat what I did like and that was about it. I wasn't starving or anything. I have no idea what I will do when my DD gets older. I probably won't continue to make her something she hates if its going to turn into a problem, but I don't see myself cooking different meals. Probably just let her eat the sides and maybe give chicken fingers... I don't know. I don't really care what others decide to do though.
Right now I still offer something else (something light like crackers or some apple sauce) because he's still pretty young. It's tricky because he's only 2 and there's still so much for him to try and try again before he might actually like it. I'm hoping in a few years or so we'll have things worked out to where there's always something on the table that he will be happy to eat.
If it's something I know he likes and he's just being stubborn because he'd rather have a donut, then no, he doesn't get anything else.