STMs: Arrangements for other kids while in hospital
valeivegas
member
What are your arrangements for your other kid/s when you'll be in the hospital?
We've planned for my MIL to take DS for a week (if I end up w/ a c/s I'll be in the hospital 4-5 days anyways (baby is breech), but I'm not sure how I really feel about it. It's easier for her to take him to her house, and then our house wouldn't end up being a mess once we come home (if they stayed by us it would for sure become a disaster), so I think this is the best course of action. The plan is for DS to come meet the baby, then they go back to MIL's house until a few days after we come home (she lives about 70 miles away). I'm just worried about the adjustment of DS to his little sister & coming home to a whole new situation. But I think it'll be good to give me & Dh a few days home w/ DD also..
And now my mom is mad we're not letting her take DS, but I really don't want him around my brother who lives w/ her (long story) - & she is not understanding of this at all = adding a lot more stress to my life than I need right now... 
Re: STMs: Arrangements for other kids while in hospital
We have my parents, my sister and *possibly* DH's sister to help us out when this LO arrives. Our plan is for DD to be with any of them the least amount possible.
Whether she stays at our house or my parent's/sister's is up to my parents/sister and DD. If she wants to come hang out at the hospital with me she's more than welcomed to and when she gets bored she'll take off with my parents/sister.
DH is going to spend the least amount of overnight time at the hospital as possible so he can be home with DD.
Basically, we want her to feel in control of the situation and deal with the least amount of upheaval as possible.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
You should do whatever stresses you out the least and makes the transition easiest for your older LO.
My mom will have my girls -- she will likely meet us at the hospital when I go into labor to trade off with them since this is my third and could go fast. They will likely stay at her house because it is closer to the hospital than mine. DH will probably either go home or sleep at my mom's-- the past 2 deliveries he roomed in with us and was really uncomfortable and I was just in the hospital for 4 days and it was really hard for my girls to have me gone and I think having both of us gone would be even harder.
When I had DD2, DD1 stayed with my parents (my dad has since passed) and DH stayed with me but she was just newly 2 and didn't understand the whole concept of me being gone as much.
DD1 7/10/08 DD2 8/11/10 DS 7/2/13
My parents will come stay w/ DD at our house. But they're the type to actually be helpful and fill the house with baked goods instead of mess, so that's not a worry for us.
With DD, we were in the hospital for a solid week and I'm sort of planning on that happening again. If it does, I want DD to be in her own bed as much as possible during the transition. If we do end up with that situation again, my husband will probably go home for at least a few nights to get some rest and take care of DD.
Baby Name Popularity by State
We "plan" to do the same thing this time as well if things work out but you just never know.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
Well, it depends on whether or not I go into natural labor or continue with a ceserean.
The kids will be out of school and attending child care, so if I have her during the day, my parents will pick them up and bring them over to the hospital afterwards. Then, they will spend the night with my parents the first night.
After that, DH will probably be running back and forth between home/child care/hospital for the next couple of days.
This! Do whatever you feel most comfortable with, so if MIL's house is it, don't think twice about your mom being upset.
We have family on call to stay at our house. DH will also come home at night to help with dinner, tubs and the nighttime routine and depending on how baby and I are doing at the hospital, he might stay home at night too.
My parents are getting here about a week before my due date, so hopefully I won't go before then. That way, they'll just be staying with us, and I've already written out instructions/schedules for them.
If my parents aren't here yet, we'll probably take DS with us since there is a childcare center at the hospital. I have a couple of friends I can call to come get him and watch him when the childcare center closes for the day.
I'm sure MIL would be willing to stay at our house to help H with DD if need be. I'm not worried.
It sounds like MIL is the best option, and while you'll be nervous, I'd encourage you to accept that help to concentrate fully on new baby and recovery. It's going to be an adjustment for your DS either way, and you cannot keep him from this new change even if that means him coming all day to the hospital. That is not ideal. Trust your MIL to create normal days for him, with normal meals and bedtimes, and know that as the weeks pass, everyone will adjust just fine. You will miss him to be sure, but you also need to work through that and adjust, and let him have normal days with MIL as he can. And he'll miss you, but he'll be taken care of.
Type out his daily schedule, food lists, activities he loves, etc. If he' never stayed there overnight, consider asking MIL if she'd take him for a night this week or next as a practice run. It won't be so new to him when the time for a longer visit comes.
DS has stayed by MIL several times, including this past weekend for 3 nights, so he's used to it - it's nothing new to him which is good.
Thanks for all the input! Since I'll most likely be having another c/s it will probably be good to have a few extra days to ourselves at home before DS comes back.. I'm just getting nervous - time is ticking now....!!!
I knew I was going to have a c/s on my EDD last time so my mom took DS1 the night before and he stayed with her for 4 nights. She lives in the same town as us so he came to visit at least twice and meet his new brother. She brought him to the hospital when I was getting discharged and he came home with us and the new baby as a family.
I think we'll do the same thing this time, but probably have her take our car with all the car seats installed so we don't have to switch out all 3 when I'm being discharged.
We have no family in town either, so DD is going to be over with my good friend and neighbor during my labor (which will hopefully be quick--it was only 7 hours with her), and DH will come back to be with her as soon as we both feel comfortable with his leaving. My friend has a little girl the same age as DD (almost 2), so hopefully they will have fun together and she won't even realize anything is amiss at first . If it's the middle of the night, I have a different friend and neighbor (without kids at home) who is like a mother to me, and she'll come over so that I don't have to wake DD.
Then my mother will come in, so for the next few days at the hospital DH can have the freedom to come visit when he wants to, but he'll still be able to be home with DD when she needs him.