3rd Trimester
sugar212
member
just need a break...vent
sugar212
member
I have a very active toddler who JUST turned 3, everyone describes her as "busy". she is for the most part a great little girl, but just is constantly on the go. I am 36 weeks pregnant and it is really hard for me to keep up with her. DH doesn't seem to get it at all. our only bathroom is upstairs and when she has to go, she has to go NOW. it is hard for me to get her up the stairs fast enough to go potty or just get up the stairs in general. we have tried putting a potty chair downstairs, which works great, but that still means someone has to go upstairs to dump it. The stairs kill me. I also just really can't keep up with her in general. Normally I can, but I am sore and tired. DH just doesn't get it. I do work full time and by the time I get home I am super tired even though my job isn't physically demanding at all. DH only works 7/14 days and I get that his days that he does work are long (12 hours) but since he only works 7/14 days he is home with DD a lot and he knows how busy she is. he is actually only with her alone 2 days/week. He can keep up with her just fine so her being so active doesn't phase him a bit. when I am with her alone (like today, since DH did have to work, and he also works every other weekend) I feel like that is more work than actually going to work. don't get me wrong, I love DD and DH to death, but I am so tired of being pregnant and sore and just want a minute to myself when he gets home. DH just got home and the first thing he asks me is "whats for supper?" yesterday we decided to just go to the mall to walk around a bit (it has been really cold here) and DH is a fast walker, I had to ask him to slow down so I could actually walk with him. I guess what I am venting about is I just need some help from him a little and maybe a bit of a break. Thanks for listening.
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Re: just need a break...vent
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
are you sure we don't have the same kid? lol she will nap for him, she won't nap for me and once in a while at daycare she will, but that is usually if they go to the park in the morning (she goes to an in home). yes, I have told him, but I guess I need to talk to him more and I do understand that venting doesn't really help the situation, except to vent.
DD is the opposite. She will nap for me more than for H. When H is home then forget it. She wants to play play play with Daddy. She plays with me every day but since he works so much she feels like she has to go go go to get his attention while he is here. He loves it and takes advantage. Its really sweet.
Definitely talk to your husband again. My husband has always been very observant and proactive about household chores, cooking and helping with DD. He's a great partner, but even he has some issues with some feather brains every now and then. I think your husband just needs to have a good sit down and clear communications of your needs.
Keep trying, but I do know the days that you want to cry when the kid won't nap.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I can relate. I have a very active little girl who just turned 4. She has a hard time entertaining herself. Constantly she is asking me, "Mommy, come play with me"...it's hard to hear that and tell her I'm too busy or too tired but of course, sometimes I must. She doesn't nap for me either but we've found out that it's for the best. Because she doesn't nap, she goes to bed super early. The last 2 nights she has been in bed at 7:30 which gives DH and I some neccessary alone time.
Venting is important and communication with your husband is also key. Sounds like you do deserve a break--maybe get a babysitter or take a day off from work so you can go to a spa or just sit at home and do nothing? I take those days for myself occasionally. I usually end up doing cleaning or organizing around the house but just being alone is a great relief!
As for the potty, dress your daughter in clothes she can manage herself and put a step by the toilet. She should be able to get there by herself, so you'll only need to help her wipe or check in on her when you get there. Heading in this direction now will make it easier when baby is born.
Maybe your husband is just oblivious to what it is like for you being 8 months pregnant. Be more direct about what you need, and I'm sure that will clear things up. Instead of saying "I'm exhausted" or "you don't get it," say "I need you to carry the laundry upstairs" or whatever you want.
Thank you, I needed this!
I have to admit, I read this wrong and pictured myself letting DD actually pee in the sink. thanks for the laugh!
My son sleeps more frequently for my husband also. He gets him to run around like a wild man to get all of the energy out. When I get really tired I will take my son to the park or outside to play and it gives me a timeout. As soon as we get home he will sleep for 2 hours. Also, I agree that you just need to talk to him. If he doesn't get the point then, it might take some tears to go along with it so he truly understands!
You just need to tell him you need more from him than you are getting. For some reason they don't seen to understand that the more pregnant we get the harder the simplest tasks are for us. Don't be a martyr just flat out give him instructions on what you need him to do for you.
Seems like common sense to me!
I think you described my life right now hahahaha! Except I have a 3 yr old...no stairs and my husband does business personal property tax so I just got him back a week ago as r
their busy season has ended... We hardly see him jan-may....it's finally nice having him home as I'm 37 wks as of today and am on bed rest...hubby was forced to step up and help!