Parenting after 35
GroverClover
member
How do you meet other parents?
GroverClover
member
Hi all! I'm 37 and consider myself a new mom (my baby is 20 months old). I'm also new to posting on boards (there is a first time for everything), but I'm reaching a point of frustration and desperation. For the first 9 months of my child's life I was overwhelmed with a new baby, nursing, and working. I'm finding a balance and realize I crave a friend with a child close to my child's age. I find people my age either have multiple children (and laugh at the struggles of a parent of JUST one) or have kids who are in much older or have no children (and don't relate to motherhood). How do you meet other parents? Any suggestions?
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Re: How do you meet other parents?
I'm having a tough time with it. I met many at the playgrounds and local stores but haven't felt any bond to justify attempting to start a friendship. Others have recommended meetup.com. Haven't checked it out yet. I'm almost 43 and age has felt like an issue at times.
Looking forward to what others say...
We have had good luck meeting other parents at our community pool, little gym, and daycare/preschool (my son is 3 now). Many of them are 10 years younger than I am, but I have found that as long as they are over 30 years old, we still have a lot in common. We go on date nights with some of these couples, have playdates for the kids, and do things together with our families, too.
We are one-and-done, and many of these parents are having 2nd children now which is changing things a bit (they have their hands full, so socially, it isn't as easy to plan as it has been in the past), but still is workable if we plan ahead enough.
This might sound a bit weird, but here goes: When I do things with DS that require a bit of money (e.g. little gym), there are usually some older moms there and fewer moms in their early 20's. I think it is just a matter of life stage--older parents are more likely at a stage in their lives/careers where they have a bit more disposable income to spend on some of those things for their kids.
If you can afford it, I recommend things like little gym, kindermusik, or other mommy and me type activities.
Thank you for all of the suggestions and taking the time to reply. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
My two best friends (one since grade school, the other joined us in high school) are at totally different points in their lives - one will never have children and hasn't even been in a serious relationship for quite some time and other's daughter graduates high school next weekend - so I was kind of in the same spot. I followed the full progression on these boards - from the knot and wedding planning, to the nest and now here. Through the knot and the nest I did find a small group of friends that I now see on a regular basis and one of them has a child six weeks younger than mine and the others have children within a few years so I do have that. And a fellow daycare mom and I have cultivated a friendship over the last year. She found out that we lived nearby and was seeking new friends with kids so she left a note from her son to my daughter inviting her on a playdate. I should note that I am 40 and all of these new friends are at least 5 years younger than me...at least one has not yet hit 30.
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I found it really hard until my kids started school to be honest. I am a working mom and the kids were in daycare so honestly, wanted to spend my weekends with my kids. We made friends with a handful of families from daycare and would do family playdates on the weekends every few months. We also took ECFE (parent and me classes) through the school district and made some friends that way.
My girls are about to finish kindergarten and PreK on Friday and I finally feel like this year that I have started to make real friends - ones that I would love to get together with sans the kids.
My older DD started religious school on Sunday mornings and I started walking with other moms during school or going to the coffee shop down the street from Temple and hanging out. I joined the Temple Sisterhood and got involved with planning an event. At the elementary, I volunteered for different events, go to the PTO meetings and once I connected at a PTO meeting with a mom of a friend in my DD's class, I emailed her and asked if she wanted to go grab a coffee during a bday party. Since that 1st coffee date in the fall, we have car pooled to parties and gone to lunch during parties a ton. Our girls are also in girl scouts together so we have seen each other then. I have done the same with other moms and just slowly, became friends past the kids.
I am going with a friend from Temple to a wine tasting/art fair at a local winery in a few weeks. Again, we met through our kids and just by spending time together at different things, have become friends.
It takes work and is not easy but it happens. You need to put yourself out there by taking classes with others of the same age and then making that extra effort of making a playdate.