April 2013 Moms

Kind of clueless.. anyone else?

Does anyone else feel like they really have no clue what they're doing with a newborn?

I'm a FTM, only child, and was never really around babies too much. We've got the basics down (aside from some BFing issues, but that's another story), LO is fed, changed, dressed, and safe, etc.   But I still just feel like I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!   I'm always questioning myself, Is she sleeping too long? Long enough? Eating enough and at the right times? Should we be doing this or that differently? 

I'm sure it's one of those things that you figure out as you go, and your kid will be just fine, but I'm a little bit of a control freak and the whole thing stresses me out a little! 

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Re: Kind of clueless.. anyone else?

  • if she is sleeping for a long time, ENJOY IT! :) They are growing little beings that need their rest. Try not to worry and trust your instincts. Right now all they need is their basic needs met and as long as you've got that, you're golden!
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  • HZ2012HZ2012 member

    I'm lurking from the May board - but I could've written this EXACT post myself! I'm home from the hospital for 5 days, and thankfully have the luxury of a baby nurse, but I feel like I'll be completely lost when she leaves. I too am a control freak, and hate not knowing what's next. But I guess we have to let go a little bit and go with the flow! 

    I'm sure you're doing just fine, and as long as you keep doing what you're doing,making sure your LO is fed, changed, dressed, safe,  baby will be great.  

     

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  • If it makes you feel any better, I am a second time mom and the newborn stage still makes me anxious. I am still constantly second guessing myself with daily decisions about napping, feeding, bedtime etc. I can tell you that it gets easier. The infant stage is not my favorite and it may not seem that way now but it does go fast. I am sure you are doing great!
  • My daughter was born two months early, I have had her home for 10 weeks now and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing... I can't wait until she can talk lol
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  • I'm totally with you.   I question myself 100 times a day and cry at least once feeling like I'm not doing the right thing or being a good mom.   I'm a totally control freak and a nervous nelly and this whole out of control situation that is now my life is driving me slightly insane. 

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  • imageNicoleSB80:
    I'm totally with you. nbsp; I question myself 100 times a day and cry at least once feeling like I'm not doing the right thing or being a good mom. nbsp; I'm a totally control freak and a nervous nelly and this whole out of control situation that is now my life is driving me slightly insane.nbsp;


    This is me. Exactly.
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  • I'm sure you are doing great! It can be easy to worry too much, but just follow your baby's cues and enjoy them being little! You'll start to notice some patterns in sleeping and wake times, and the things that calm LO when fussy. Newborns are tough, it will get easier as they get a bit older and you get more confident.

    If you are a control freak, you might like the book Becoming Babywise. It's not super popular here on TB, but its all about establishing routines and predictability. I really found it helpful to have a structure that made me feel more in control and a lot less like I was always guessing!
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  • You can add me to the list, and sadly I felt great the first 4 weeks. It's the second four that have left me second guessing everything and truthfully slightly miserable as I can't seem to figure a damn thing out. My child is not on any type of schedule or routine. I never get any sleep. I question if she's too hot or too cold all the time and I also have a good cry on a regular basis.


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  • image08summerbride:
    If it makes you feel any better, I am a second time mom and the newborn stage still makes me anxious. I am still constantly second guessing myself with daily decisions about napping, feeding, bedtime etc. I can tell you that it gets easier. The infant stage is not my favorite and it may not seem that way now but it does go fast. I am sure you are doing great!

    Every time I feel stressed, I say to myself "He's only a newborn once.  Enjoy it as much as possible." I'm a FTM too and feel overwhelmed by all of the choices I can make each day.  I think I ruin it for myself a lot of times by reading WAAAAY too much on different subjects.  We had one rough few hours before bed the other night, and I swear I researched and read about sleeping routines for like 8 hours. Not a good idea.

    OP, I'm sure you're doing a great job! You are definitely not the only one feeling unsure of yourself.  Just keep doing what you're doing 

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