Stop getting pregnant!!! You all are making my uterus ache!!! I so want another baby but that's not even remotely close to a possibility. So, please quit getting pregnant, you're making me jealous! (ok, you ladies here that are TTC and who are recently pregnant, please note that I'm not really mad about this! I'm super excited for you all and wish you all the best of luck in your TTC efforts and happy and healthy 9/10months! I would just really like to have another baby, that's all)
Sincerely,
Wishing I was with you all
Dear Ian,
You make my heart melt every day, but break it at the same time. I've been so blessed. You're such an amazing little boy and I don't know how I could've gotten any more lucky. Don't get me wrong, you can throw a fit with the best of them, but all in all you're pretty much awesome! I love watching you learn new things and master old things. I am so proud to be your Mom!
Sincerely,
Your Mommy
Dear Month of May,
I'll be glad when you are over! You've been packed with soooo many things and I'm exhausted.
Sincerely,
I need a vacation
Dear Bank Account,
Blame this month(see above) on the fact that you are pretty much empty. So many things happening and it forces me to keep taking money out of you instead of putting anything into you. Ok, so I can't really blame this month on it completely, but all the "happenings" aren't helping...and don't plan on things turning around any time soon. If you could magically increase yourself, that would be awesome. Sincerely,
You lose the right to complain about being tired when you willingly stay out until after 1:00 a.m. and know that your daughter NEVER sleeps past 6:30. I'm not sorry that she woke up at 5:30 today...not for you anyway. I feel bad that she now has to spend the morning with you because you are tired and cranky.
Next time, consider that when you want to have a beer after work. If you want a beer, check the fridge.
With love and not a lot of patience,
Your equally tired whife who has been doing nights alone for 14 months
Dear unhealthy food,
Stop being so damn delicious - you are ruining all my awesome weight loss goals.
Learn how to effing sleep. This is getting ridiculous.
Sincerely, your cranky, sleep-deprived self
Sweet hubs,
I'm so incredibly proud of you for working so hard at your weight loss goals. You were sexy anyway, but now... omg, I can't hardly keep my hands off of you. (and that's saying something! ) Wow.
Love, this very lucky, lucky girl
Dear AF:
See above? I want sleep, and I want laid. Neither seems to be happening when you're around. Get. Lost.
From: The chick who doesn't have time for your ridiculousness
Watch your kids! I don't need them running around and messing with my stuff that is on my porch! just because we live in an apartment complex does not give them free reign of everything. Oh and while your at it l, teach them to pick up their toys, next time I see them Laying in the middle of the sidewalk or parking lot and no one is in sight playing with them, they will go on the dumpster.
You are the WORST CLASS EVER! There a couple of subs who will not take my jobs when I'm gone. That's sad- subs have always loved me because I have great sub plans. I'm glad to be home today with my not-really sick son. I cannot wait until this year is done and I get a new class.
Sincerly,
Your teacher who used to be kind and sweet and is now just a daily b**ch.
Dear son's digestive system,
I realize that the antibiotics are reaking havoc on you. We're pumping son full of yogurt and probiotics. Please stop causing explosive loose poops. We're tired of cleaning up after you!
You were a complete jerk to me last night when I asked you to look at 2 different colors that I would like to paint our bedroom. Because you've been a jerk, I think I'll paint the room pink. And I will not ask your advice about any further decorating.
You were a complete jerk to me last night when I asked you to look at 2 different colors that I would like to paint our bedroom. Because you've been a jerk, I think I'll paint the room pink. And I will not ask your advice about any further decorating.
Sincerely,
Pissed off Wife
Sounds like a logical solution! Make sure it is pretty and take pictures!
I love you so much. I love how you look up to kiss me when I sing the last word of the song during our nap/bedtime routine. Please make this transition to 1 nap more smoothly than our initial shot at it a month ago.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Life,
Stop being so freakin stressful. This week has been horrendous and the fact that we can't buy the house we want right now over a septic tank is just annoying. Why do we need to poop anyway????? Hopefully my interview will go well today to end the week off right!
Thanks,
Me
BFP 2/14/11 MC 2/28/11
BFP #2- 6/12/11- Austin born 2/22/12
Dear Money,
Where are you and where have you gone? I swear every pay period I look to see where the rest of my money is. If you could return in oh let's say the form of a Power Ball or a Mega lottery ticket I would be ever so grateful.
xoxo Broke Mar5195
Let me just saya pre-emptive I'm sorry. I know our 5 year wedding anniversary is tommorrow, but I've done nothing to prepare. I had a plan but my new position at work is tough. Please be patient with me!
Yes, you are a pain. But OMG I could not love you any more today if I tried. I was in total panic/anxiety mode yesterday and you redeemed yourself today and showed up in full force. You were so, so horrible to tease me. But right this moment we can be best friends. I will even embrace the cramps you always bring with you.
Where are you? I don't think I'm PG... but I've only had you once since DD stopped nursing... and I didn't write down when that was, so... I think I'm nervous. Please visit.
Doozer
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Please release an egg. I'm tired of temping and not seeing anything conclusive on when you do your job. So either do it already or talk to uterus to see if she has a baby in there.
QUIT WHINING! You are killing me with the constant need to complain when there is nothing I can do to fix it. I can only imagine how frustrating it can be to not communicate, but why don't we work on talking instead? I love you, but I'm not liking you right now!
Love,
Your Mommy who just wants a day without whining.
Dear Baby #2
Stick around. You are already loved so much and we want to meet you in January!
Love,
Your very excited Mommy
Dear AC,
Why must you not decide to work on the HOTTEST day we've had so far this year? We really don't have the money to fix you, but I refuse to be hot this summer. Please, please, please just work.
I was so proud watching you walk all around at the library concert this morning! You went out on your own, found big kids to watch, and stopped to dance along the way. Such a difference from the clingy little baby who didn't even want to look at other people unless she was attached to her mother. I love seeing you have so much fun!
Love,
Your mama who adores you
Dear Nunu (ie baby #2),
Please stick around, and grow up nice and strong in there. We love you already, and think about you all the time.
Love,
Your mama who adores you
Dear body,
Get it together! No more bleeding! You are doing better, but there's a baby in there that we love, and I need you to take better care of it. You are freaking me out, and I'd like you to stop!
Owner
Dear financial advisor,
I know that it is not your fault that the office gave me 3 wrong numbers before giving me yours. But you could have picked up the phone when I finally called. We need to go over all the numbers so we can figure out what this little Nunu is going to cost us, and so I can plan things like our first ultrasound. I can't do any of that without some information from you, so please call back today!
jmccall79
member
Re: Open Letter...
Dear Ladies around me,
Stop getting pregnant!!! You all are making my uterus ache!!! I so want another baby but that's not even remotely close to a possibility. So, please quit getting pregnant, you're making me jealous!
(ok, you ladies here that are TTC and who are recently pregnant, please note that I'm not really mad about this! I'm super excited for you all and wish you all the best of luck in your TTC efforts and happy and healthy 9/10months! I would just really like to have another baby, that's all)
Sincerely,
Wishing I was with you all
Dear Ian,
You make my heart melt every day, but break it at the same time. I've been so blessed. You're such an amazing little boy and I don't know how I could've gotten any more lucky. Don't get me wrong, you can throw a fit with the best of them, but all in all you're pretty much awesome! I love watching you learn new things and master old things. I am so proud to be your Mom!
Sincerely,
Your Mommy
Dear Month of May,
I'll be glad when you are over! You've been packed with soooo many things and I'm exhausted.
Sincerely,
I need a vacation
Dear Bank Account,
Blame this month(see above) on the fact that you are pretty much empty. So many things happening and it forces me to keep taking money out of you instead of putting anything into you. Ok, so I can't really blame this month on it completely, but all the "happenings" aren't helping...and don't plan on things turning around any time soon. If you could magically increase yourself, that would be awesome.
Sincerely,
Your broke account holder
Yes please!
Dear DH,
You lose the right to complain about being tired when you willingly stay out until after 1:00 a.m. and know that your daughter NEVER sleeps past 6:30. I'm not sorry that she woke up at 5:30 today...not for you anyway. I feel bad that she now has to spend the morning with you because you are tired and cranky.
Next time, consider that when you want to have a beer after work. If you want a beer, check the fridge.
With love and not a lot of patience,
Your equally tired whife who has been doing nights alone for 14 months
Dear unhealthy food,
Stop being so damn delicious - you are ruining all my awesome weight loss goals.
Signed, currently enjoying a snickers bar.
Fix yourself. Seriously.
Signed,
Your unhappy owner
Self:
Learn how to effing sleep. This is getting ridiculous.
Sincerely, your cranky, sleep-deprived self
Sweet hubs,
I'm so incredibly proud of you for working so hard at your weight loss goals. You were sexy anyway, but now... omg, I can't hardly keep my hands off of you. (and that's saying something!
) Wow.
Love, this very lucky, lucky girl
Dear AF:
See above? I want sleep, and I want laid. Neither seems to be happening when you're around. Get. Lost.
From: The chick who doesn't have time for your ridiculousness
212 Facebook Admin.
212 Facebook Admin.
I'm just blah. Still in pain and feeling really icky because they gave me a Vicodin. Thanks for asking, Queenbee.
Well, at least they gave you the good stuff.
I hope you get feeling better soon! What an awful week you've had.
212 Facebook Admin.
Watch your kids! I don't need them running around and messing with my stuff that is on my porch! just because we live in an apartment complex does not give them free reign of everything. Oh and while your at it l, teach them to pick up their toys, next time I see them Laying in the middle of the sidewalk or parking lot and no one is in sight playing with them, they will go on the dumpster.
Sincerely,
Your pissed off neighbor.
Dear students,
You are the WORST CLASS EVER! There a couple of subs who will not take my jobs when I'm gone. That's sad- subs have always loved me because I have great sub plans. I'm glad to be home today with my not-really sick son. I cannot wait until this year is done and I get a new class.
Sincerly,
Your teacher who used to be kind and sweet and is now just a daily b**ch.
Dear son's digestive system,
I realize that the antibiotics are reaking havoc on you. We're pumping son full of yogurt and probiotics. Please stop causing explosive loose poops. We're tired of cleaning up after you!
Sincerly,
Grossed out mom and son.
Dear DH,
You were a complete jerk to me last night when I asked you to look at 2 different colors that I would like to paint our bedroom. Because you've been a jerk, I think I'll paint the room pink. And I will not ask your advice about any further decorating.
Sincerely,
Pissed off Wife
Sounds like a logical solution! Make sure it is pretty and take pictures!
Dear Austin,
I love you so much. I love how you look up to kiss me when I sing the last word of the song during our nap/bedtime routine. Please make this transition to 1 nap more smoothly than our initial shot at it a month ago.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Life,
Stop being so freakin stressful. This week has been horrendous and the fact that we can't buy the house we want right now over a septic tank is just annoying. Why do we need to poop anyway????? Hopefully my interview will go well today to end the week off right!
Thanks,
Me
Dear Connor,
Please go back to STTN. Please.
Love, Mommy
Dear DH,
Let me just saya pre-emptive I'm sorry. I know our 5 year wedding anniversary is tommorrow, but I've done nothing to prepare. I had a plan but my new position at work is tough. Please be patient with me!
Signed, your loving, but negletful wife
Dear husband,
STOP BUYING GARBAGE!!!! You buy junk food, and since I work at home, guess who eats it all day? That's right... me...
Love,
Your growing wife.
Dear cookies,
I don't want to eat you, but I don't want to throw you out either. F__k!
Love/hate,
Ynk.
Dear AF,
Yes, you are a pain. But OMG I could not love you any more today if I tried. I was in total panic/anxiety mode yesterday and you redeemed yourself today and showed up in full force. You were so, so horrible to tease me. But right this moment we can be best friends. I will even embrace the cramps you always bring with you.
Signed,
Very, very grateful
Dear Non-existent Thyroid,
i hate you. You are still causing me problems. Stop.
Thanks
Dear AF,
Where are you? I don't think I'm PG... but I've only had you once since DD stopped nursing... and I didn't write down when that was, so... I think I'm nervous. Please visit.
Doozer
Dear work,
No offense, but I am not missing you today. This mental health day was well earned and very needed.
See you tomorrow,
hopefully recharged teacher
One more...
Dear ovaries,
Please release an egg. I'm tired of temping and not seeing anything conclusive on when you do your job. So either do it already or talk to uterus to see if she has a baby in there.
Signed,
I-thought-we-had-an-understanding
Dear Eli,
QUIT WHINING! You are killing me with the constant need to complain when there is nothing I can do to fix it. I can only imagine how frustrating it can be to not communicate, but why don't we work on talking instead? I love you, but I'm not liking you right now!
Love,
Your Mommy who just wants a day without whining.
Dear Baby #2
Stick around. You are already loved so much and we want to meet you in January!
Love,
Your very excited Mommy
Dear AC,
Why must you not decide to work on the HOTTEST day we've had so far this year? We really don't have the money to fix you, but I refuse to be hot this summer. Please, please, please just work.
From,
A hot and sweaty mom
Dear Lulu,
I was so proud watching you walk all around at the library concert this morning! You went out on your own, found big kids to watch, and stopped to dance along the way. Such a difference from the clingy little baby who didn't even want to look at other people unless she was attached to her mother. I love seeing you have so much fun!
Love,
Your mama who adores you
Dear Nunu (ie baby #2),
Please stick around, and grow up nice and strong in there. We love you already, and think about you all the time.
Love,
Your mama who adores you
Dear body,
Get it together! No more bleeding! You are doing better, but there's a baby in there that we love, and I need you to take better care of it. You are freaking me out, and I'd like you to stop!
Owner
Dear financial advisor,
I know that it is not your fault that the office gave me 3 wrong numbers before giving me yours. But you could have picked up the phone when I finally called. We need to go over all the numbers so we can figure out what this little Nunu is going to cost us, and so I can plan things like our first ultrasound. I can't do any of that without some information from you, so please call back today!
Annoyed
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16