Do you and your boss like each other?
mae0111
member
I've been working for my boss for 11 years. Along the way, I've received several promotions, and he is now senior management for a large company. He has been a great boss - supportive of me in the workplace, seemed genuinely happy for me when I told him about my pregnancies (he has 5 kids), allows me (and others) to have flexible schedules because we are expected to be available a lot off hours. Just before maternity leave, he gave me a big raise, which I definitely earned.
But I've finally realized that he doesn't like me. He respects me, thinks I'm smart, knows I'm valuable to the organization... But he doesn't like me. 6 of his 7 direct reports are women. Only 2 of us have kids, and he definitely shows his preference for the people that don't have kids. I went in for a meeting with him yesterday, during my maternity leave. I hadn't seen him for over 3 months because I had to work from home for a month before I had DD. He literally didn't even say hello to me. There are lots of other slights that I've always written off as part of his quirky personality, but seeing him interact with the childless folks, I know now it's me...
I don't have a strong drive to get another promotion, but I plan to keep working as hard as I ever have. But I'm starting to wonder if it's sustainable for me to work for someone who clearly dislikes me personally, but respects me professionally. I like everyone on my staff, so I don't really have this issue.
Sorry for the book... Any thoughts??
Re: Do you and your boss like each other?
I've had a boss that didn't like me for whatever reason...and chose that reason enough to try and ruin my life. I think as long as you have respect and professional courtesy that 's a huge thing.
Although, if it's a deal breaker, look elsewhere.
I am in a very similar situation. My boss has very little personality to begin with and is quite quirky. We would never associate with one another outside of the office. That being said, we have a successful working relationship. I have learned that I don't need to like him, nor do I need him to like me. Mutual respect is enough. I really like my current position and how it allows me the flexibility I need for my family right now while at the same time giving me a few opportunities to boost my resume. In the future when I am not a mom to a very young baby, this issue, along with little advancement opportunities, may serve as motivation to search for other employment, but for now it works.
I think it is really going to be up to you and how important it is for someone to like you personally.
Currently working on some diversity training for work. What you described reminded me of something called micro-inequities.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microinequity
Doesn't really help you, but just found it interesting.
My current boss really, really likes me. We would totally be friends if it weren't for the fact he's my boss.
My previous boss was a bit of a stiff with no personality. He definitely respected and trusted me, but our personalities didn't really click outside of a work relationship.
DS #1 born 05/25/2012
BFP#2: 06/12/2013 ---- loss
DS #2 born 4/08/2014
BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM
BFP#5 - 9/22/2016
* formally bornmommy
This exactly. My current boss and I are very close and I consider her to be almost like a family member. But I have left a job before because my boss was so horrible that I couldn't deal with him for another minute. He was very outwardly rude to me though and made no secret of the fact that he disliked me. Some outrageous number of people quit because of him. He eventually got demoted.