Baby Showers

NBSR: Wedding shower

If baby showers are to welcome a mother-to-be to motherhood, it seems like bridal showers are to shower a bride with gifts to start the household that they're establishing (I know in modern times, that often happens pre-wedding, but historically...).  Does the same logic therefore apply that you shouldn't get a shower for a second wedding, since you've already set up a house with the first husband?

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Re: NBSR: Wedding shower

  • IMO, the same logic applies. 

    Bridal showers are for first time brides only.

     

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  • Pretty much, yes.

    Showers are a one-shot deal, you either have one or you don't for the first marriage and you're on your own for subsequent weddings.

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  • Yes.  An exception to this rule might be if it's the groom's first wedding and so the his family wants to throw a shower. 
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  • I agree with a shower for first time brides.
  • IMO, its even more inappropriate to have subsequent bridal showers
     

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  • imageamandarins:
    IMO, its even more inappropriate to have subsequent bridal showers
    I feel this way too.  I don't know that I even subscribe to it being the grooms first wedding.
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  • Yes, but I will say that there could be exceptions. If you believe in exceptions for second-time moms (first child for the dad, large age gap between children, multiples), the true might be the same for bridal showers. If the first marriage was very young and very short and the second one is much later in life and in very different circumstances and with a completely different guest list, maybe. If there was some kind of tragedy - the bride was widowed in a fire and lost her husband and all of her belongings, or her first marriage was abusive and she had to flee her home for her own safety - then I think most people would give it a pass. 

     

    I'm normally anti second showers for anything, but I admit I might take things on a case-by-case basis. If a good friend was in a legitimately exceptional situation (a baby of the opposite sex is not something unique), I would probably attend and not really think anything of it. 

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  • imagemsmerymac:

    Yes, but I will say that there could be exceptions. If you believe in exceptions for second-time moms (first child for the dad, large age gap between children, multiples), the true might be the same for bridal showers. If the first marriage was very young and very short and the second one is much later in life and in very different circumstances and with a completely different guest list, maybe. If there was some kind of tragedy - the bride was widowed in a fire and lost her husband and all of her belongings, or her first marriage was abusive and she had to flee her home for her own safety - then I think most people would give it a pass. 

     

    I'm normally anti second showers for anything, but I admit I might take things on a case-by-case basis. If a good friend was in a legitimately exceptional situation (a baby of the opposite sex is not something unique), I would probably attend and not really think anything of it. 

    Well said!  These are my thoughts...
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  • imageamandarins:
    IMO, its even more inappropriate to have subsequent bridal showers

    Agreed.  

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  • Yes, the same logic applies.  If you've already set up a household, there is no good reason or need for tea towels, pots and pans, etc.  Just because a couple "wants new stuff" is not a good reason.

    First time mother = shower

    First time bride = shower

  • AmyC925AmyC925 member
    On a related note, what if the bride to be was engaged to someone else before and had showers, but called the wedding off a week before?

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  • imageAmyC925:
    On a related note, what if the bride to be was engaged to someone else before and had showers, but called the wedding off a week before?

     

    She should have returned the gifts, so in that case, it's kind of like it never happened and another shower would be okay.

    If she kept the gifts, then no way! 

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  • Yea, i wouldn't goto a 2nd shower. tacky in my mind.

    by then, your an established women, and hopefully have everything for the household.

    Not sure if I would even give a wedding gift. Again, it's their 2nd wedding; more intimate, and their more established. 

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