meltdown

tigerlynx31413 · May 2013

So I had a pretty decent meltdown last night. A little background: DH works 2 jobs. One is his full time 3-11 job and then he has a second job that he has had for a while, but he dropped to one 12-8 shift a week. His boss is out for radiation treatments and so DH is picking up two additional shifts this week, so I have DD on my own more than normal.

I have been very limited in the housework I have done because DD does not nap for long or at all at night and does not actually get sleepy for bed until after 10. I keep making myself lists of things I would like to/need to do. I'm ok when I have to push the "want to do" items off, but I feel guilty if I don't do the "need to" items. It all culminated in a breakdown last night that had DH worried that I was getting too overwhelmed and that we might need to stop at one child (we want 4), which is completely not what I want.

Anyway, I have come to realize that I have very unrealistic standards in my head of what being a good wife/mother means and need to admit my humanity. I especially feel guilty since DH is able to get stuff done around the house and work two jobs, but I can't seem to work my job and then do anything but care for DD. I am lucky if I get an hour (split up in increments) to get stuff done and eat at night. I love DD and would not trade the time I spend with her for anything I just wish I could get other stuff done as well.

Also, I do have a baby carrier and DD can't stand to be in it for more than 5 minutes so that is not really an option to help me get stuff done. Sorry for being so erratic I just needed to vent to someone other than DH, someone who may be able to sympathize rather than trying to empathize with how I am feeling. Thanks for "listening"!

DanandVan · May 2013

Yep, I've been there! Just remind yourself that taking care of baby IS your job. The house is going be a mess for awhile. Just accept that. I aim to get laundry and dishes done everyday, and just do the rest in bits and pieces when I can. At some point our babies will start taking longer, more predictable naps so it will get easier to get things done. I always felt better once we had a routine this is baby 3 for us.

ninambutler · May 2013

I totally understand this. I'm a single mom and staying at my parent's house while I finish school. I take care of a lot of the household chores because everyone else works a full time job and I take care of all me and baby's laundry, dishes, food, nursery, bathroom, living area cleaning, etc. I am a neat freak and very organized and it has been tough to keep up. Sometimes I just feel like I'm doing the same things over and over again. By the time I finally get around to cleaning out the tub its dirty again. My little one wants to be held ALL THE TIME so its tough to get anything done. I have to take her in the shower with me!! She takes a luxury bath in her tubby and I stand in the very back of the shower with the handheld trying to get some soap in my hair lol. I don't have much advice, but I do have sympathy!

MillerMama13 · May 2013

I had a mini meltdown myself last night. I work full time then have to come home and try to get housework done and cook dinner for DH and I While trying to spend time with DD since I didn't see her all day. I also get upset when I don't get things done but I read a quote in a magazine once that I try to keep I the back of my head. "No one ever looks back on their life and wishes they had done more dishes or laundry". Spending time with your kids is priority in my book. Hope you can unwind a bit and enjoy your DD today.

MSW_721 · May 2013

Hugs! I have been there and it sucks to feel so overwhelmed. I had a lot of trouble adjusting when my first was a baby. I was so used to a spotless house, time to make healthy dinner and time to myself. It's hard to accept that those things might not happen with a baby. Is there family or friends that could take the baby for a few hours so you can get things done? This has helped me a lot. Also I just learned to accept that the house isn't going to be as clean as it used to be. I know it's so trite, but things do get easier. Your LO won't need to be held as much as they get older and will take better naps. Hang in there.

ShadyKull · May 2013

My bathrooms haven't been cleaned in months. Do I care? No.If my hubs or guest care that they have to pee in a dirty toilet then they can clean it themselves.

Baby alive and well = job well done

HOWEVER, my little guy loves when I vacuum with him in his carrier. So my floors are spotless

tigerlynx31413 · May 2013

MSW_721:
Hugs! I have been there and it sucks to feel so overwhelmed. I had a lot of trouble adjusting when my first was a baby. I was so used to a spotless house, time to make healthy dinner and time to myself. It's hard to accept that those things might not happen with a baby. Is there family or friends that could take the baby for a few hours so you can get things done? This has helped me a lot. Also I just learned to accept that the house isn't going to be as clean as it used to be. I know it's so trite, but things do get easier. Your LO won't need to be held as much as they get older and will take better naps. Hang in there.

Thanks for the hugs. My Mom watches LO while DH and I are at work during the week and MIL offers assistance if needed on the weekends (she watches my nephew during the week in the evenings so my SIL can work). Not that I want DD to grow up any faster than she is I do sometimes wish she got to the point where she can amuse herself with more than me or her play mat (which she is on a lot during the day with my Mom).

I am feeling better today, but I would like to not have these meltdowns around DH because I know once I let myself have my moment to just cry it out I'm fine, but he doesn't understand that.

Also, I give my hand to the single moms, I'm really not sure how you do it! Love and hugs to you!

skidaisy · May 2013

ShadyKull:
My bathrooms haven't been cleaned in months. Do I care? No.If my hubs or guest care that they have to pee in a dirty toilet then they can clean it themselves.
Baby alive and well = job well done
HOWEVER, my little guy loves when I vacuum with him in his carrier. So my floors are spotless

Haha...this is SO me to a tee...down to the vacuuming while carrying her.

I also have an almost two year old and was feeling pretty overwhelmed at first with everything. Once I decided that I will have a dirty toilet and dusty shelves for awhile, I have felt MUCH better. I still do dishes at the end of the night and laundry when we have a load.

Hang in there mama!! Before you know it, LO will be playing by herself and telling you "no"...enjoy holding your little baby now!!

meltdown

Re: meltdown

Choose Another Board

Search Boards