So I had a pretty decent meltdown last night. A little background: DH works 2 jobs. One is his full time 3-11 job and then he has a second job that he has had for a while, but he dropped to one 12-8 shift a week. His boss is out for radiation treatments and so DH is picking up two additional shifts this week, so I have DD on my own more than normal.
I have been very limited in the housework I have done because DD does not nap for long or at all at night and does not actually get sleepy for bed until after 10. I keep making myself lists of things I would like to/need to do. I'm ok when I have to push the "want to do" items off, but I feel guilty if I don't do the "need to" items. It all culminated in a breakdown last night that had DH worried that I was getting too overwhelmed and that we might need to stop at one child (we want 4), which is completely not what I want.
Anyway, I have come to realize that I have very unrealistic standards in my head of what being a good wife/mother means and need to admit my humanity. I especially feel guilty since DH is able to get stuff done around the house and work two jobs, but I can't seem to work my job and then do anything but care for DD. I am lucky if I get an hour (split up in increments) to get stuff done and eat at night. I love DD and would not trade the time I spend with her for anything I just wish I could get other stuff done as well.
Also, I do have a baby carrier and DD can't stand to be in it for more than 5 minutes so that is not really an option to help me get stuff done. Sorry for being so erratic I just needed to vent to someone other than DH, someone who may be able to sympathize rather than trying to empathize with how I am feeling. Thanks for "listening"!
BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013
BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)
BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014
BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!
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Re: meltdown
My bathrooms haven't been cleaned in months. Do I care? No.If my hubs or guest care that they have to pee in a dirty toilet then they can clean it themselves.
Baby alive and well = job well done
HOWEVER, my little guy loves when I vacuum with him in his carrier. So my floors are spotless
Thanks for the hugs. My Mom watches LO while DH and I are at work during the week and MIL offers assistance if needed on the weekends (she watches my nephew during the week in the evenings so my SIL can work). Not that I want DD to grow up any faster than she is I do sometimes wish she got to the point where she can amuse herself with more than me or her play mat (which she is on a lot during the day with my Mom).
I am feeling better today, but I would like to not have these meltdowns around DH because I know once I let myself have my moment to just cry it out I'm fine, but he doesn't understand that.
Also, I give my hand to the single moms, I'm really not sure how you do it! Love and hugs to you!
BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013
BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)
BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014
BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!
My Chart
All are Welcome!
Haha...this is SO me to a tee...down to the vacuuming while carrying her.
I also have an almost two year old and was feeling pretty overwhelmed at first with everything. Once I decided that I will have a dirty toilet and dusty shelves for awhile, I have felt MUCH better. I still do dishes at the end of the night and laundry when we have a load.
Hang in there mama!! Before you know it, LO will be playing by herself and telling you "no"...enjoy holding your little baby now!!