Baby Showers
Baby shower timing!
So excited to officially get a baby shower! NOT so excited to get a baby shower at 38 weeks. Ugh, I feel like I'm going to be way too uncomfortable to even enjoy myself! My cousin just had a baby shower at 34 weeks and I don't believe I can be anymore envious of her!
When do baby showers usually get thrown? When was yours?
also, I feel like a little brat for saying this but, my aunt can't make it to my shower so she gave me a gift card so that I can get the things I need/want. She gave me a 25 gift card and I was appreciative, but she just gave my cousin a 50 gift card at her shower a couple weeks ago! I'm kind of disappointed that she wouldn't treat we nieces the same way..am I wrong for feeling this way?
When do baby showers usually get thrown? When was yours?
also, I feel like a little brat for saying this but, my aunt can't make it to my shower so she gave me a gift card so that I can get the things I need/want. She gave me a 25 gift card and I was appreciative, but she just gave my cousin a 50 gift card at her shower a couple weeks ago! I'm kind of disappointed that she wouldn't treat we nieces the same way..am I wrong for feeling this way?
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Re: Baby shower timing!
And second where is it written that your Aunt has to give you the same present as your cousin. You don't sound a little bratty you sound a lot bratty. No one is obligated to get you anything.
You sound really entitled. Someone spent their money on you to be nice. Write a thank you card and get over it.
As far as the gift card situation, let it go. You will drive yourself up a wall comparing what you get to what she got. Some people may be more generous with you than with her and vice versa. It's not important. What is important is that people are willing to be generous give a gift at all and that is what you need to be greatful for.
You do sound like a spoiled entitled brat. Knock it off. Enjoy your shower because at the end day it is a gift that not every woman gets. I sincerely hope you have a great time.
My shower was at 38 weeks. I was not miserable. I was glad that people could see me really pregnant. I helped load gifts in the car and came home and spent a gleeful afternoon sorting them.
I would wonder about the difference in gifts with my cousin and probably have some hurt feelings. I wouldn't stress about it too long though- so much other good stuff to focus on!
First, showers can be thrown at any time and I did have one at 38 weeks for my first. This time it was at 36 weeks and I was terribly uncomfortable but I sat down almost the whole time. I still had an amazing time. (my family has a shower for each pregnancy and always has) I figured the timing was up to the hostesses and went with what worked for them. It is incredibly thoughtful for someone to throw a shower so just be thankful.
Second, be thankful for any gift at all. Don't compare and size up gifts. It's wrong for kids to do it but at least they don't yet know better. Yes, you are wrong for feeling that way. Rather than compare things just be thankful. Someone will always get more than you and someone will always get less, deal with it.
EDIT I want to be clear I do think it's wrong to feel upset because someone else received a bigger gift. I don't think you can always help your feelings but you can remind yourself it doesn't mean your aunt feels any different about you.
I just had my shower a couple weeks ago and I have a few relatives who had their showers within the last couple months as well. We all received a variety of things. Thinking about it not everyone received 'equal' gifts from everyone but it didn't seem to matter.
I had one at 38 weeks and it was fine. It's really NBD, just get a comfy chair and you're set.
I understand being upset about your cousin getting a $50 gift card while you only got $25. I also understanding venting on here instead of doing it IRL. Maybe there was a reason your aunt gave your cousin more? Maybe that cousin has done a lot for your aunt so your aunt decided to give her more. Or maybe your aunt didn't realize she gave you guys different amounts. While it may be hurtful, I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Let the vent on here be the last time you think about it
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Mostly this. I'm almost 38 weeks right now, and I am not miserable. I would be completely fine to sit around with friends and open presents.
About the gift card, maybe your aunt gave more because she physically attended that shower? I don't know, and at the end if the day it doesn't matter. It's her money, and you might as well be grateful that she gave you a good chunk of it.
I am 38 weeks currently and feel fine. Yes a little uncomfortable but really all you will be doing is sitting in a chair, eating cake, and opening presents.
You sound extremely bratty and ungrateful. Who cares if your cousin got more than you. Grow up!
From a "comfort" standpoint, I would have enjoyed a chance to hang out with all of my nearest and dearest pretty much up until I went into labor... Sure, late pregnancy has plenty of discomforts, but for the vast majority of people, they shouldn't be enough to keep you from enjoying a shower. I classified my shower as a very welcome and pleasant distraction. Seriously, a baby shower should not be that taxing. If you think yours will be, I suggest narrowing your guest list. Not trying to be snarky, that's an honest suggestion. Especially for a late shower, I'd only want to be around people I actually like spending time with.
From a practical have time to put away the gifts and write thank you notes standpoint, 38 weeks is late, but not at all unmanageable. I had everything away and thank you notes out within 5 days after my shower. Have the thank you cards in advance and consider addressing an envelope for each guest who has RSVPed yes in advance provided your host is willing to share that info with you.
As for the gift cards, I can understand your initial reaction, but I think you need to let it go and move on. Comparing gifts never leads to good. While you can't control your initial gut response, you can decide to drop it now. There are plenty of things that could explain the discrepancy, but you'll probably never know and it really shouldn't matter.
nothing you can do about the shower timing. just sit back and enjoy it. at 38 weeks, I am sure the host and other guests will try to make you as comfortable as possible.
as far as the gift card goes, maybe your aunt thought your other cousin needed the financial help more than you. there's nothing you can do about it, so just be appreciative.
I was asked when I'd want my shower and I prefer it earlier b/c I like stuff done earlier rather than later. but if you weren't asked, you don't really have a say and should accept it. My concern is going into labor early, which is unlikely, and the shower being 2 hours away from my hospital assuming very little traffic back into Brooklyn.... but not so much about my comfort of being at a shower at 38 weeks.
As for different sized gifts.... I get being bothered, but just remind yourself there are always things you don't know. Maybe your cousin has done a lot for your aunt and her kids/grandkids, maybe your aunt knows about some financial difficulties for your cousin, maybe she felt she should give more b/c she attended that shower vs. not attending yours, maybe someone gave her child a larger shower gift and she's reciprocating.... I'd try to shrug it off and appreciate what you were given.
I do not spend the same amount on every shower gifts/wedding gift I give.
Edit, sorry bump Mobil fail, and it won't let me fix
i don't know if al this was necessary.
With that said, that is late to have a shower. Is there a reason the host picked the date she did? I know with me being pregnant with my first, I want all my things for the baby ready ASAP! That seems stressful to have to set up, wash, put away all the things you will get 2 weeks before your due date. And on top of that, run out and get all the stuff you didn't get! Lets hope you don't go early!
As for the gift, I understand your point. Your aunt shouldn't favor one of you more than the other. She knew that you were both having a shower close to each other..it should have been equal. But also, your cousin shouldn't have told you how much money someone gave her.
Good luck!
I wasn't the one who posted on an Internet board asking opinions. And apparently being an entitled brat is okay in your books. So I will just follow etiquette. As I was raised to be grateful when people do nice things for me, send a thank you note and be happy .
I do have to say to all of the women that told you to be quiet and deal with it because "showers are gifts" that's just wrong saying that...... Cutting it so close to 40 weeks is not cool. The mom is going to have to wait until 38 weeks to figure out what she still hasn't received and what she still has to go out and purchase. It's not good if she has a crib an other big items on the registry and they are not purchased for the shower and then she has to go out and get them last minute.
I've never been to a shower that is later than 30/32 weeks.
Agreed! Also it's not that hard to run to the store. It would take 1 to 2 days. Or online shopping if not comfortable enough to go out. It's a shower not running a marathon.