May 2013 Moms
ajfetterly
member
labor room support?
ajfetterly
member
Anyone here have to settle with just the dr and nurses for support during delivery? I am a very private person and my family and in laws are all local but I am uncomfortable having them in the delivery room and now I am worried that dh won't be able to get out of work to be with me.
Anyone have any similar concerns or already dealt with a similar situation?
And btw I am firm on the idea of no family in the room I won't budge on that but I think ill be lost w/o dh.
Anyone have any similar concerns or already dealt with a similar situation?
And btw I am firm on the idea of no family in the room I won't budge on that but I think ill be lost w/o dh.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: labor room support?
Unless your DH is president of the world, I don't understand why he couldn't get out of work for the delivery of his baby.
Edit: If you're uncomfortable w/ family and your DH can't be there, you could hire a doula.
Yea, I don't get it. Why can't he get out of work?
Your OB sounds like a douche. You are entitled to have anyone in the room with you that you want, including a doula who is not a medical professional - just labor support.
Tell your DH to tell his work he is going to be at the birth. They'll just have to suck it.
This. I would have preferred to just have the nurse be my support if my DH wasn't able to be there. My nurse and my OB for my first labor/delivery were very calm and encouraging.
Your OB works alone? What the heck does he mean by that? You would be hiring a doula, which is support to you. This does not mean you would be hiring someone else to deliver your child. The OB's biggest concern is getting the baby out healthy. Your doula is there to provide you the support in order to do that. Tell your OB to efffffff off.
It's a shame your DH may not be able to be there so just make sure you can be your own advocate when you're there. I understand you're a private person but you may want to reconsider. Having someone there even to get you a drink can be a real help to you.
I'm sorry but this sounds like BS. I can't imagine any company or manager that would not allow a man to be with his wife when she gives birth, regardless. If you are lucky maybe you will give birth on a weekend or on his day off. I cant imagine he works 7 days a week/24 hours a day.
As far as the doula I am 37 weeks and I think there is only one or two local women who practice here. So I'm not sure if it will be beneficial to add one at this point.
As for a friend or sister in law with me I think both my mom and my mother in law would be hurt they weren't thrilled when I originally said husband only.
I was so excited to be getting close and making it full term and now I am so depressed. But its nice to know I have backing and I'm not the only one upset.Thank you
This. Or they should at least allow him to take it unpaid.
ETA: fixed quote tree.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
They can't force him to do anything. It's up to you two how you want to handle it. He can take unpaid time off and risk being fired or he can try to work out something with his boss. If you both really are OK with him not being there, then that's an option, too. I just can't imagine giving birth to my kid w/o my DH.
I would say wait until you are admitted and you are sure that you are in labor before DH takes the day off, that way he is sure to be there for the birth.
Also, you are entitled to a support person. Your doctor can work alone, but the doula is there for you. The doula isn't going to interfere with the doctor, she won't be delivering the baby, she is just there to support you. So if you need a doula get one, they won't turn her away.
And, if by chance, you are alone, I still think you will be ok. Some people are able to relax the most when they are by themselves which makes for an easier labor, so you might find being alone not so bad. Also the nurses will be there for you too!
Anyway, hope hubby gets to be there in any case.
Your story is confusing!
Sorry that you are dealing with the stress. People have given you some options to think about, but it seems like you don't actually want a solution, just to b!tch. Which is fine, but if you really want to fix the problem--take some advice from others.
Stop being so logical!
I also started this topic because I assumed I wasn't the only with this problem and sometimes you just need to support from someone in a similar situation.
Also yes I did post the other day that I have an amazing support system and I absolutely do. I just know the grandma'sto be would love to be in the room with me and they would never say it but I know I would hurt their feelings letting someone other then them or my husband in with me.
I am so sorry if I came across wrong and a lot of people had amazing helpful ideas thank you.
If he gets one day off, you should be okay. Just go to the hospital without him at first and get confirmation from the nurses whether or not it is the real deal. Typically you are in the hospital for hours. So once it is confirmed it is the real thing, he can cash in his one day and be there for when the baby is born.
And as PP mentioned, there is a good chance you could go into labor on a day or time when he doesn't have to work.
Seriously your MIL should respect if you want your mom in there only. Also, you can tell your mom that you are only comfortable with her standing up at your hand, not down staring at everything going on.
I would not have been happy if I had just had the nurse. Sure, she might have been different if I had been alone, but she really irritated me by saying that the baby would be born in x amount of time, and those times kept passing and I got really discouraged.
I'm so sorry about your situation. And that stinks that your h's boss won't make any exceptions for this.
I did not want any other family or friends in my delivery room with DD, but it was very important for me to have my DH. I don't really have any suggestions but I feel awful for the situation you've been put in.
BFP#1 09/2009 * EDD 6/19/2010 * Born 6/12/2010
BFP#2 6/03/2012 * EDD 2/09/2013 * MC @ 5w2d 6/13/2012
BFP#3 8/30/2012 * EDD 5/16/2013