Midwife Advice

Ntymec · May 2013

Hi all!

I thought maybe some of you could offer your opinions and advice with this.

I get a cold, off putting feeling from my midwife. She is very opinionated and not very friendly. She knows her stuff and is very confident in her abilities. She has a 5 month old and seems very preoccupied with her family life. She often complais of feeling tired and never having a break. She also dresses sloppily with wrinkled clothes.

I recently met with another midwife because mine was on vacation. It really opened my eyes of how comfortable I can feel with someone else and, in turn, how uncomfortable I feel with my midwife at times.

What would you do? I feel awkward switching midwives since the agency is so small. Even asking if other midwives are available makes me feel bad. Should I suck it up and ask for someone new? I know my current midwife will do a good job at keeping me and baby safe. I just wonder if there is better...

Maybe I should call the other midwifery in my area to see if I can switch places???

Ideas????

seaheather24 · May 2013

Maybe call the other midwifery and get an appointment , see how you feel with the different one . You should feel at ease and confident with your midwife . I am going through a similar situation . Hope it works out for you .

AshleyPT · May 2013

It's definitely your right to switch without feeling guilty. I'm going to share my story just in case it helps in the event she ends up delivering your baby anyways (on call schedules if you are staying in the same group).

There were 2 midwives in the place we switched to. One was extremely warm and my husband and I both clicked with her. We hoped she would deliver our first. The other midwife was a top notch expert and has trained nearly everyone in our area, but we just didn't click personality wise and often felt like we were communicating past each other. She ended up delivering my daughter and being present at my labor for the last 6 hours. For some reason she was exactly what I needed. Her seemingly flat personality during prenatal appointments was calming and perfect throughout labor. It just really opened my eyes to be open about situations. Not that this means you shouldn't switch, just my experience.

CDMay2006 · May 2013

I don't see a problem with switching, but i do understand your discomfort in doing so. I would contact the mw you met and see if she has any openings before talking to current mw, then if it works out, just say you saw mw2 when mw1 was out and you felt like you clicked better with her. The complaining would get to me, too. My mw had her busiest month ever (most births) and there wasn't a hint of complaint when she told us about it -- just celebration for all the healthy, happy birth she and the center attended that month. (That is to say, the mw's attitude can be really important in how comfortable you are and a positive attitude goes a long way.)

achadwick19 · May 2013

I'm sure people switch their midwives all the time, it's really no big deal. It's not like if you ever see the other one she will start giving you dirty looks or something. They have so many different patients that she could not even notice to be honest. I would absolutely ask for someone else if there are others and if you aren't satisfied, move on to another place. You definitely want to be comfortable with your midwife!! I have 3 that I see and different ones are on call each night so I will get one of the 3. Luckily they are all awesome and if they weren't, I'd absolutely switch! This person will deliver your baby, you want to be comfortable.

Good luck!

MariaKeegs · May 2013

Change midwives. You are a consumer.

magdalina.h · May 2013

You need to be comfortable with your care provider

smilormarie · May 2013

Switch. My first midwife told me I should only be eating 2 carbs a day. Literally like 2 pieces of bread or one piece of bread and a small cup of pasta or rice. No other carbs and limit sweets to one very small brownie or equilvalent a day. That was my 9 week appt, no history of diabetes, I hadn't gained any weight yet, she was a skinny-minnie, and now I see a new midwife at a new practice who commends my weight gain at each visit. I know how to eat healthy and we pregnant ladies need carbs (whole grains, long grain rice, baked potatoes with skin, healthy cereals, etc). I couldn't imagine cutting out a whole food category. Switch and don't feel bad about it. You'd switch pediatricians if you felt your baby wasn't getting the best care.

Ntymec · May 2013

Thank you for the advice! I think I will try to meet with someone from the other midwifery. If they aren't available, i might ask the one midwife that I liked if she is available!

Thanks again!

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